Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard (The Unicorn and the Wasp)
Engine expert (Midnight)
UNIT credentials (Planet of the Dead)
Church credentials (The Vampires of Venice)
References from the King of Sweden (The Vampires of Venice)
The Doctor’s National Insurance Number, NHS number and references (The Lodger)
Meteorological Department credentials (The Rebel Flesh)
Social Services credentials (Night Terrors)
Special commissioner from the Chinese Emperor (The Angels Take Manhattan)
The psychic paper also receives messages from time to time:
‘Ward 26, Please Come’ – from the Face of Boe (New Earth)
‘The Library, come as soon as you can x’ – from River Song (Silence in the Library)
‘Prisoner Zero has escaped’ – from the Atraxi (The Eleventh Hour)
‘Please save me from the monsters’ – from George (Night Terrors)
Summons to the Tower of London – from Kate Stewart (The Power of Three)
Beware, not all are susceptible to the Paper’s powers. To date, it hasn’t been able to fooclass="underline"
Rose Tyler
Captain Jack Harkness
Trained Torchwood employees
William Shakespeare
Madame Rosanna Calvierri
Plus, it shorted out when the Doctor tried to claim he was universally recognised as a mature and responsible adult.
THE DOCTOR’S TOOLKIT
It’s not all about screwdrivers, you know. The Doctor has used many a tool in his travels. Some are part of the TARDIS toolkit. Some he’s created. Some are just common-or-garden objects. But all of them work. Well, some of them work. Mostly. Here’s a selection of his most useful gadgets.
Argon discharge globes – used with portable mu-field activators (Frontios)
Astro-rectifier – helpful when repairing TARDIS thermo-couplings (The Hand of Fear)
Bio-damper – a ring-like device that masks the wearer’s bio-signature. Useless against Huon particles (The Runaway Bride)
Cricket ball – useless if you need to activate an auto-guard cut-out (The Ark in Space) but handy if you find yourself floating aimlessly in space (Four to Doomsday)
Dog whistle – for summoning your robot dog (The Ribos Operation and others)
Drawing pins – the Second Doctor carried drawing pins with him, just because he liked them (The Space Pirates)
Etheric beam locator – for those moments when you need to locate etheric beams (Genesis of the Daleks)
Fireworks – a firecracker and some blue touch paper can help unblock sacred flames (The Brain of Morbius), while Galactic Glitters are good for maddening Yeti (The Five Doctors)
Fob watch – Peri smashed the Sixth Doctor’s, but the Seventh Doctor replaced it with one that contained an alarm, calculator and scanner (Silver Nemesis, Survival)
Football rattle – useful when you need to spook horses (The Masque of Mandragora)
Ganymede driver – used to repair the TARDIS’s thermo-couplings (The Hand of Fear)
Infrared sunglasses – good for seeing in the dark (The Hungry Earth)
Jammie Dodger – doubles as TARDIS self-destruct button, as long as it’s not scanned by Daleks, that is (Victory of the Daleks)
Laser spanner – stolen by Emily Pankhurst (Smith and Jones)
Magnetic clamp – dangerous if in the hands of a Master-controlled companion (Doctor Who)
Mergin nut (The Hand of Fear)
Memory worm – one touch on your bare skin and you lose the last hour of your memory. A bite will wipe out decades (The Snowmen)
Mobile phone – because it’s good to talk (Boom Town)
Multi-quantiscope (The Hand of Fear)
Nanorecorders – voice recorders implanted in your hand (Day of the Moon)
Neutron ram (Doctor Who)
Notebook – containing all the key codes of the machines in the TARDIS along with notes on places he’s travelled to. The Doctor would never leave it behind, unless he was attacked by cavemen (An Unearthly Child)
Parthenogenesis detector – for detecting independent creation of life forms (Partners in Crime)
Recorder – can destabilise antimatter universes as long as it’s fallen into the TARDIS’s force-field generator (The Three Doctors)
Rhondium sensor – detects delta or, unsurprisingly, Rhondium particles (The Time Warrior, Planet of the Dead)
Special straw – adds extra fizz to carbonated drinks (The Impossible Astronaut)
Species matcher – identifies an individual’s species and planet of origin based on an image or picture. Given to the Doctor by a dull godmother with two heads and bad breath (Vincent and the Doctor)
Stattenheim remote control – TARDIS remote control (The Two Doctors)
Stethoscope – what Doctor worth his salt would be without a stethoscope? Especially when you can use one to listen to heartbeats in pipes (Fury from the Deep), identify transmitters (The Creature From the Pit), eavesdrop (The Runaway Bride, Partners in Crime) and follow signals (The Stolen Earth), or to check the TARDIS in flight (The Lodger)
TARDIS magnet – homing signal that helps you find the TARDIS while out and about. Just keep an eye on the green light. (The Chase) Other TARDIS homing devices crop up in Full Circle, Mawdryn Undead and The Visitation
Telescope – the Second, Third, and Fourth Doctors all kept a folding telescope handy
The Doctor’s signet ring – could open the TARDIS doors in case of power failure. Also useful for handling Zarbi, resetting TARDIS locks and hypnotising people (The Web Planet, The Daleks’ Master Plan, The War Machines)
Timey-Wimey detector – goes ‘Ding’ when there’s stuff and boils eggs at thirty paces. Best kept away from hens (Blink)
Umbrella – can be used to measure radio antennae when a tape measure isn’t to hand (Remembrance of the Daleks)
Yo-yo – for taking gravity readings (The Ark in Space)
Zeus plug – can also double as castanets (The Hand of Fear, The Girl in the Fireplace)
WHO’S DRIVING THIS THING?
When he was a lad, the Doctor always wanted to be a train driver, but as far as we know has never stepped behind the boilerplate. However, he’s driven and piloted a fair few vehicles in his time. Here’s a list of the notable ones. Vroom vroom!
The TARDIS – From An Unearthly Child to now
Helicopter – Fury from the Deep
Transport capsule – The Dominators
Military land rover – The Invasion, Day of the Daleks, Invasion of the Dinosaurs, Robot, Terror of the Zygons
Canoe – The Invasion, The Power of Kroll
Moon rocket – The Seeds of Death
Ambulance – The War Games
Wheelchair – Spearhead from Space
Packard vintage car – Spearhead from Space
Bessie – Various
Transporter lorry – The Ambassadors of Death