Cremation is a growing trend that is slowly making its way into my part of the country, where mostly people prefer to be buried in the ground. Casket manufacturers are feverishly attempting to assist funeral directors by developing new profit producers associated with cremation products and services. From fancier low-end cremation caskets to more expensive cremation urns, directors in the Midwest are going through a feeling-out period—trying to determine what consumers deem valuable and, more important, what they’re willing to pay extra for.
After attending a few casket-company-sponsored seminars to introduce the newest offerings for cremation, I have to admit to being amazed at the possibilities. There are cremation-friendly caskets with themed head panels, just like those offered on expensive steel caskets; myriad urns, from the most basic to the most elaborate; mini-urns that match normal urns, so that children can be presented with a small amount of their grandmother’s ashes; stainless-steel bracelets equipped with small openings to deposit a smidgeon of ashes and cover later with a screw-on birthstone cap; and even necklaces with mini-urns attached to the chain! I have actually sold many of these products, so perhaps the casket manufacturers are on to something. If they offer it, someone will probably buy it.
I once believed that only wealthy and highly educated people desired to be cremated. The funeral home where I worked as a teenager was the firm of choice for the area’s upper crust, and I was often puzzled as to why doctors and lawyers were not given full-service funerals with all the trimmings. I was told that their families, for generations, had selected cremation, because it was simpler and less stressful for the survivors. I didn’t buy it. I believed that it was really because the people didn’t have time for a grieving period and didn’t want to spend any unnecessary money. Perhaps the rich and the learned of my area had brought their death-care philosophies with them when they arrived from other countries generations earlier.
The cremation rate nears 60 percent in the big metropolises of the East and West coasts, but it is low indeed in Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, and their surrounding environs. I have even noticed that if an economically challenged family in the South is offered cremation when funds are lacking, they respond with disdain or even anger. Working-class people used to consider the idea of cremation an affront. Today it’s more acceptable, but still not nearly as popular as ground burial. One contributing factor to this might be its growing acceptance by Roman Catholics, who previously deemed cremation as taboo.
Also adding to the increase is the higher cost of funerals and especially cemetery charges. Grave-space prices, charges for opening and closing graves, and burial vault requirements have increased disproportionately compared to other rate-of-inflation spikes. When a single grave space costs a family $1,500, opening and closing it costs $900, and a required vault costs $800, then the family has to come up with $3,200 before even speaking with a funeral director. Opting for cremation eliminates that charge.
There are three categories of cremation-related services. First is immediate cremation or direct cremation—the body is cremated shortly after death, with no accompanying ceremonies or rites. The body is removed; placed in a minimum (cardboard) container; and after an arrangement conference with the decedent’s family and acquisition of proper signatures, the decedent is cremated. The ashes are delivered in either a basic plastic temporary container or in an urn of the family’s selection. Loved ones then decide on the final disposition of the ashes—burial, scattering, or even retaining them for the next family death or perhaps a dual scattering.
I have scattered ashes on behalf of family members many times, sometimes with unanticipated snafus. An avid fisherman passed away recently, and his children wanted his ashes scattered in the nearby river, where he had spent many a pleasant evening. When I handed over the urn, the family asked if I would be willing to accompany them and actually pour the contents into the water. I agreed. But on the riverbank in December, perhaps I should have held the open container just above the water instead of at waist level. The howling wind blew a large quantity of the ashes right back into our chilled faces.
The deceased man’s children received that ominous affront with good-natured laughter. Their dad, they said, would have gotten quite a kick out of the calamity. The incident reminded me of the day that Ted Kennedy and his family attempted to scatter the ashes of John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife, Carolyn, off the end of a naval vessel in the open sea. With high winds and cameras rolling, it appeared that the ashes blew right back toward the ship.
An active elderly lady of substantial means contracted with me for the direct cremation of her late husband of forty-eight years. The day I presented her with her beloved spouse’s ashes, she asked whether I would call the office of their favorite golf course to request a scattering into one of the sand traps. This sweet couple had played there in a mixed golf league every Thursday for several years. She even specified the sand trap on the sixth hole, since her husband had been stuck there on several occasions.
I had heard such a request before and in each case had been denied—so I offered her a sneaky alternative. Why not go out to the course as usual on Thursday with her husband’s ashes quietly stashed in her golf bag? Upon reaching the designated trap, she could open the container, pour the ashes into the sand, and use the provided rake to mix them. She called me on Friday morning to report that the deed was done, even though she felt like a criminal the whole time.
With direct cremation, the customer can save hundreds of dollars merely by price shopping on the phone or in person. In my area, direct cremation charges range from a low (at my own funeral home) of $895, including the crematory fee, to a high of $2,495, not including the crematory fee. Crematory operators charge from $180 to $350 to actually cremate the body, and I include that fee as part of my service charge, although most funeral homes do not. Among other states, Florida and California are popular cremation states and are known for conducting price wars for services. Billboard and telephone book advertisements tout the best prices that funeral homes and even direct-disposal operators offer. It is not uncommon to see a billboard in California offering immediate cremation for $395.
Cremation with a memorial is the second category. This is basically the same service as in direct cremation, but an actual funeral ceremony is conducted without the body present. There are extra charges for use of the funeral home or church chapel, an obituary, a register book, clergy, and perhaps flowers. Funeral directors are much happier when a family decides to have a memorial service as opposed to mere direct cremation, as they can make a little more money and an obituary usually appears in the newspaper, which is great advertising. Charges for cremation with a memorial service, like any funeral home service offerings, vary tremendously, so customers should shop around.
The third category is a complete funeral service followed by cremation, which is a growing phenomenon in the funeral industry. The body is embalmed, dressed, placed in a rental casket (or even a purchased wood casket), and a visitation and funeral service are conducted traditionally—the same scenario that precedes a ground burial. The obvious difference is in the final disposition of the deceased. Instead of loading the casket into a hearse for a procession to the cemetery, the family and friends leave the funeral home and the body is cremated in private. This trend is a result of ever-increasing prices that cemeteries charge for grave spaces and for opening and closing the grave. Families have told me that they are happy to have a complete traditional funeral ceremony, cremate the deceased loved one, and not pay between $2,000 and $3,000 to a cemetery for ground burial.