I nodded dumbly.
She glanced over my shoulder toward Peter and blew him one last kiss goodbye. “Now I must be off. Angie has the address. Toodles!” And just like that, Nan blew out of the office every bit as quickly as she’d entered.
I headed back to the desk while Peter slumped down into one of the thick armchairs in our waiting area, helping himself to yet another turnover. “That was weird,” he said.
I shrugged. “That was Nan.”
He studied the pastry in his hand, then widened his eyes and shoved it into his mouth. “She’s fun. I like her.”
I shot him a polite, fake smile, then tried to return my focus to work.
Peter, however, seemed in the mood for a chat. “It’s really too bad you don’t take after her,” he informed me with a sigh. “We’d have a much better time at work if you did.”
I pretended I hadn’t heard him, but he kept talking anyway.
“You don’t look much like her, either. Maybe you inherited something else from her. You know, besides personality and looks. Maybe some secret trait or talent. Hmm?” He chuckled and brushed his sticky fingers against his jeans. “I guess we’ll find out tonight.”
Indeed we would. Poor Peter had no idea he was walking straight into a trap. Nan may seem crazy on the surface, but she’s the best sleuth I know. Her interrogation skills are also top-notch.
Not to mention, Octo-Cat and I would also be there and ready to pounce on even the slightest suspicion. It may have been easy for him to pick on me at work, but my house was my fortress and filled with everyone who loved me most. For all his faults, I knew Octo-Cat would also do whatever it took to protect me. Even all these months later, he still found new and terrifying ways to surprise me.
Peter Peters didn’t stand a chance.
Chapter Five
Nan put me to work the moment I stepped through the door. She tossed me an apron and declared me in charge of mixing batter and rolling dough, the two tasks that were the most difficult to mess up, I noticed.
“It’s all hands on deck. Only five hours until go time, and we have to make our ruse look believable,” she explained with a curt nod. She’d changed out of her black satin gown from earlier and was now wearing a dainty crushed velvet number patterned with Chinese dragons. She’d replaced her smoky eye with a shimmering gold shadow and had contoured her cheeks like a Kardashian.
“I expect you to dress up, too, my dear,” she explained while studying my unassuming floral dress with its giant, oversized belt and large hoop earrings as if it was the worst outfit anyone on earth had ever cobbled together.
Octo-Cat laughed between licks of his paw. “Being a human can be the pits, huh? A cat would never…” His eyes grew comically wide as his words trailed into oblivion.
I followed his line of sight to where Nan had been rummaging through the junk drawer. She now held out a red bow tie as she moved toward Octo-Cat with a broad, reassuring smile that only seemed to heighten his discomfort. “You, too, young man. We must all look our best tonight.”
Nan then proceeded to fasten the bowtie to his collar with skilled and gentle fingers, but she may as well have been strangling the cat, given his over-the-top reaction.
“I am tainted!” he cried, shaking and twitching and throwing himself against the tile floor repeatedly. “Don’t you know? I was born with all the clothes I’ll ever need. So why add this? It’s even the same color as that wretched dot! That’s just taking things too far.”
He heaved a giant sigh and fell over on his side when Nan had finished. I had to admit, he looked rather dashing. I did not, however, admit that aloud, or else I’d end up with cat puke in my bed.
Instead, I simply covered my mouth and tittered softly against my hand.
Nan smiled at our tabby approvingly. “Very handsome,” she said in a way that was reminiscent of how she’d talked to Peter at the office that morning.
Octo-Cat continued to shriek and toss himself around the kitchen, pausing only briefing to shake his head and whisper, “Et tu, Nan? I thought you loved me.”
“Chin up. It could be worse,” I told him as I continued stirring and stirring until my hand cramped from the vigorous, repetitive motion.
“I don’t see how,” my cat told me, rolling onto his back and wiggling back and forth in an ill-fated attempt to shimmy loose of his adornment.
“Well, for starters, you’re going to have to spend time with Peter tonight. Peter’s the worst,” I explained with a shudder as I placed the bowl back on the counter and flexed my hand. I would definitely be getting Nan a stand mixer for the next gift-giving holiday. Sure, they cost a lot, but it would be worth it to save my hands, and hers, too.
Nan popped a tray into the oven, but we had so many different dishes underway that I had no idea what was on it. “Now, Angie,” she said, turning back toward me with a wagging finger. “If Operation: My Enemy is My Friend is to be a success, you need to commit to character.”
“Hey, I never agreed to take on a character and, by the way, neither did he.” I tilted my head toward Octo-Cat, who was too busy trying to find a way out of his collar to notice I’d just stuck up for him. Figured.
Nan tutted. “If you don’t believe it, then how will our guest?” she asked, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me to attention. “It is an honor to have Peter with us tonight. We’re friends, and as such, we tell each other things without hesitation.”
“Like what he knows and how he found out?” I said drolly.
“Precisely,” she said, punctuating the word by jabbing a dripping spatula at my apron. “But if you remain hostile, we won’t get anywhere. Can you soften up a little so that we don’t have to fall back on plan B please?”
“What’s plan B?” I asked, biting my lip as I waited for the answer.
Nan let out a little laugh. “Well, we—”
“You know what? It doesn’t matter,” I interrupted. It would be easier if I didn’t know too much ahead of time. I was a terrible actress, anyway. “I’m in. The sooner we figure out the deal with Peter, the sooner we can be done and rid of him.”
“Now there’s the sweet girl I raised,” Nan said with a chuckle, returning to the other side of the kitchen to ice an enormous layered cake.
Octo-Cat flopped onto my feet, rubbing himself all over my socks until they practically changed color from all the shucked off fur. “I… can’t… breathe,” he exclaimed between gasps. “I think this is how I die!”
I bent down to pet him and slipped my fingers beneath his collar to make sure it wasn’t suddenly too tight. “It’s just for a little while,” I assured him. “I promise we’ll take it off the moment Peter leaves.”
He sat up and swished his tail behind him as he thought. A scary smile stretched across his fuzzy little face. “So, if he were to leave sooner rather than later, I could have my freedom?”
I nodded emphatically. I had no idea how he intended to make that happen, but if agreeing meant he’d try to help tonight, then I was all for making a deal. “Yes, definitely. I don’t want him around, either,” I reminded my cat.
“Then our goals align.” Octo-Cat returned to all four feet and blinked hard. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to prepare.”
I watched him trot away, then moved to wash my hands in the sink so I could get back to work. Nan didn’t need to know about whatever Octo-Cat had planned. In reality, I didn’t even know what he had planned, but I had no doubt it would be amusing—if not mortifying. It was starting to feel as if I didn’t even need to do anything now that Nan and Octo-Cat both had grand plans of their own.
Once I’d done all I could to help in the kitchen, Nan ushered me upstairs and informed me that I would be wearing my red party dress with tiny white polka-dots that evening. Well, at least Octo-Cat and I would match for the upcoming festivities.