I suddenly burst into tears. "I can't b-believe… why would he… oh my God, I'm goin' out with a drug dealer!"
I covered my face with both my good and injured hand and sobbed like a baby. My chest was hurting me, and my stomach was lurching something terrible. I knew I was going to be sick. And I was, all over the floor next to me.
"Don't move, I'll clean it up. Just stay put and focus on breathing so you can calm yourself, okay?" Branna said to me in a soft tone.
I numbly nodded my head at her while staring out to our back garden through the back door glass. I ignored the vile taste in my mouth and forced myself not to think of the pain in my stomach. But nothing I did stopped my chest from constricting in pain.
"I'm breakin' up with him," I said as I continued to look out at the back garden.
Branna sighed next to me as she finished cleaning up my vomit. I glanced at her, and she moved over to the fridge to get some juice then filled a glass full of it. She came back over to my side and handed me the juice, I drank it as she stroked my back with her hand.
"If it makes you look at this differently, they don't want to be involved with this man, they just don't have choice."
I snapped my head to her, I felt my face go red when she didn't explain that any further.
"Branna, stop cuttin' yourself off when you're tellin' me somethin' as important as this!" I growled.
She smiled a little at me. "I'm sorry, Bee, but I'm not sayin' any more. This is a conversation you need to have with Dominic alone. Just know that I fully stand by him, Ryder, and the rest of the lads. I would never go out with someone who would involve us in somethin' as dangerous as this, and I wouldn't allow you to go out with someone like that unless there was a good reason. The lads have got a handle on this so we don't need to worry."
I stared at her blankly, unblinking.
How in God's name was she so calm about this?
I shook my head at her, got up and left the kitchen and went up to my room where I flung myself onto my bed. I was still coming to grips with just dating Dominic and allowing myself to let him in. And now I had to deal with this fucking bombshell?
I shook my head into my pillow.
Was this why he fought at Darkness? Was it why he fought at all? Was this the reason why he was always battered and bruised when he came to school? Was this why he and his brothers were here in Ireland?
I had so many questions and zero answers.
I sat up, got my phone from my dresser, and unlocked it.
I need to fucking speak to you!!
I sent a text to his phone and sat back on my bed and closed my eyes and started thinking.
How the hell did my life get so complicated?
Only a few months ago I was invisible, boyfriend-less, bullied, and a complete and total loner until Dominic happened. I couldn't even remember how it felt not to feel for someone, I cared about no one bar Branna until he stormed into my life and turned my world upside down. I did care about Dominic, I cared about him so much; I lived him, but this was something I didn't know if I could deal with. The things he was involved in were so much bigger than me.
I opened my eyes when my phone beeped and tapped on Dominic's face when his text came through.
I know I have a lot of explaining to do baby, but don't make any decisions until you hear me out. Please?
I frowned; he knew my automatic reaction would be to break up with him, and that upset me. The whole point of being with Dominic was to let go of my old insecurities, and I wasn't going back to running away from things that scared me or threatened my bubbled world. No, I was going to pull up my big girl trousers and listen to what he had to say. Any decisions I made about us would come after I'd heard everything and thought things over. I nodded my head as I tapped on my phone, replying to Dominic.
Okay, but know I'm beyond upset with you. This - you - have really hurt me.
I wasn't lying; I was hurting because of this. I didn't know if it was because Dominic kept the secret from me for so long or because of what the secret actually was. Both, I thought.
I looked at my phone when it beeped.
I'm sorry, pretty girl. I'll be over tonight; I've some stuff to sort with Ryder first but once I'm done, I'm coming straight to you. Have your girl's day with Branna and try not to overthink on this. Don't give yourself an unnecessary headache; I know you will understand once I lay everything out for you. I live you, babe.
I started crying again because I prayed he was right; I really did.
"What have you done with Nico? Like how far have you gotten with him?" Branna randomly asked me as we lay on the sofa in our sitting room. It was past nine at night and after a long day of shopping on Grafton Street, we were watching In Her Shoes. But the film was forgotten once that question was asked, even though we continued to eat the pizza in our hands.
I looked at Branna and tried to glare, but I was pretty sure I looked stupid because I could feel my cheeks getting warm.
Branna cackled. "Don't be embarrassed, sisters talk about things like this all the time."
I sighed and just shrugged. "Not as far as you've gotten with Ryder, which I'm sure is all the way and back again multiple times, but probably way too far for only a week of goin' out."
Branna pumped her eyebrows at me, and it made me laugh and cough around the pizza that was in my mouth, making her crack up and slap her knee. I shook my head at her, still smiling as she whipped her eyes.
"Details Bee, I need details."
I groaned. "I gave him a… you know."
She only raised her eyebrows at me, and I hated her, because I knew she was going to make me say the word.
"A blow job," I blurted out then squeaked and covered my face.
It was weird knowing I've done something so intimate with Dominic, and I just told my sister about it!
"You dirty minx!" Branna teased playfully making me kick her leg, which she snorted at.
"He also… you know… went down on me too and he… put his fingers up there as well."
Branna widened her eyes. "Holy shite, the lad doesn't waste any time does he?"
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
She grinned. "He has been tryin' to get with you since he moved here. He must have envisioned doing dirty stuff with you for ages and can't hold back now that you're together."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, tough shite for him because I've set limits. I won't go any further than the stuff we have done already until I know in meself that I am ready. He won't pressure me either; he values his life and dick too much to do otherwise."
Branna burst out laughing, and her laughter made me laugh. We stopped when we heard a knock on the door. I instantly knew it wasn't the lads because Ryder had a key, and so did Dominic - he stole Ryder's and made a copy for himself.
I looked to Branna and shrugged. "I'll get it."
She continued to eat her pizza, but she watched me as I walked out to the hall until I disappeared out of her view. I opened the hall door and froze a little because of who was on the other side.