“I don’t plan on leaving,” I assure her and she smiles my way, taking my hands in hers.
“I knew I liked you that day in spin.” She turns around and makes her way to the nurse’s station. After talking friendly with the nurses, she walks toward the rooms in the emergency area.
I sit back down, waiting for some news. About fifteen minutes later, Grant walks in and takes the seat next to me.
“Any news?” he asks and I shake my head.
“Who called you?” I question, noticing his clearly sleepy face. He’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and a baseball cap covers what I assume is his bedhead.
“Maura.” He takes his ball cap off, repositioning it. “I’m surprised to see you,” he states, still staring straight ahead.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” I snap.
“Oh Sadie, I just meant because of Brady. I didn’t mean…”
“I’m sorry, Grant, I’m just touchy. I know what you meant.” I place my hand on his knee when Brady walks into the room.
“Am I interrupting something?” he asks, anger evident in his voice.
“Of course not.” I stand up and walk toward him and Grant follows my lead.
“It’s not good. Alcohol poisoning,” he says directly to Grant and he nods his head back. I guess they have been here before. “Can you take Sadie home?” he asks.
“No, I’m not leaving,” I declare to him.
“There isn’t a reason to be here, Sadie,” he says, releasing an exasperated breath.
“I’m here for you, Brady.” I touch his arm in reassurance.
“I don’t need you,” he bitterly responds and I quickly remove my arm. “That’s not what I meant…just go, Sadie.” He runs his hands through his hair.
“No.” I stand there, not moving.
“Sadie…” he trails off.
“I’ll stay in the waiting room if you want, but I refuse to leave here without you,” I demand.
“Fine,” he deadpans, clearly annoyed with this conversation. “Grant, can I have a word outside?” He motions with his head for him to follow. Brady doesn’t hug or kiss me before he leaves. This is a very different Brady than I have ever known, and for the first time, I wonder if we will get through this.
“Sure,” Grant says, looking at me before exiting the room.
Sitting down in the uncomfortable chairs, I feel the tears welling up behind my eyes but I will not let them fall. Be strong, for Brady, I tell myself over and over. Grant comes in a couple minutes later and sits down in his previous seat. I don’t ask what Brady was talking to him about and Grant doesn’t divulge it either. The uneasy silence between us fills the empty room until Kara walks in. What the hell?
“Oh Grant, I came as soon as John told me.” She rushes in, taking the seat next to him.
My eyes glare toward her and then to Grant. This little threesome of theirs is starting to piss me off.
“You didn’t need to come, Kara. You know he won’t want you here.” Grant continues to thumb through a sports magazine.
“She’s here,” she spats, nodding her head in my direction.
“I’m his girlfriend,” I leer and put my magazine down on the table.
“Only because you slid your way in past me,” she continues, positioning her body to face me completely.
“There was no sliding, Kara. You need to get over it.” I lean back in my chair and cross my legs, picking up my magazine again.
“Girls, let’s remember why we are here,” Grant chimes in and Kara turns her back to both of us, thumbing through her phone.
She’s dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt and her hair is pulled up in a messy bun. Obviously, she just rolled out of bed and I wonder who John is, why he knew about Vince, and how often Kara has been here with Brady when I haven’t. The more questions that run through my mind, the angrier I’m becoming. I decide to go for a walk. Grant tries to come with me but I’m able to divert him.
I make my way over to a vending machine and purchase a coffee. Although I usually take it black, I decide on cream and sugar, hoping it might camouflage the bad taste. Just as I start back down the hall, I spot Brady and Maura heading into the waiting room. By the time I get there, Kara is hanging on Brady and he isn’t pushing her away. The four of them abruptly stop talking and stare at me when I walk in the room. Suddenly, I feel like an outsider and maybe Brady was right, I should leave.
“Hey, Sadie,” Maura says. She walks up to me and puts her arm around my shoulders, bringing me into the group.
“How’s everything?” I ask, my voice shaky and unnerved by what I just witnessed.
“It will be just fine,” Maura assures me, and Brady continues looking at the ground while Kara still has her arm hooked through his. In all our time together, Brady has never made me feel so out of place. He has always assured people he was with me, but if a stranger walked into this room right now, they would think Kara was his girlfriend. “Brady and I are going to stay for the night. We were thinking Grant could take you home.” She looks at me when she says it, and I think about how, just a few hours ago she told me I should stay and not leave Brady’s side.
“Um…” I look at Brady, who continues to look anywhere but my direction. “Alright,” I agree and his eyes finally land on me. I glance at Kara’s arm and then back to his eyes, making sure he knows I see what is happening. He quickly releases her arm, as though he didn’t know it was there and walks toward me.
“Can I talk to you first?” he asks.
“It’s fine, Brady…we should get going.” I look at Grant, who digs his keys out of his pocket. “I’m sorry.” I kiss his cheek before walking away.
“I’ll call you in a bit,” he says.
“Okay,” I respond and walk out the doors. When I get on the other side, the tears start escaping and I can’t stop them. I brace myself against the wall to quickly try to swipe them away before Grant comes out. I swore I was going to fight for him, but he just won’t let me. I thought Maura was on my side, but she was the one who suggested I leave. And here I am leaving and that bitch Kara is still in there.
“Ready?” Grant asks, relieving me from my thoughts.
“Sure,” I say and start walking down the hall.
“It’s not you, Sadie, it’s just Brady. He can’t let people in.”
“Obviously not everyone,” I spat.
“Believe me…he doesn’t want her there either. It’s just that she won’t leave. I think he has just grown used to her being there since she has always weaseled her way in.” The sliding doors open and the cold air hits my face, the tears now chilled against my cheeks.
I don’t know what to say so I remain silent, but the tears keep coming. Grant has been kind enough to ignore my sniffles. I instruct him to take me to the dorm instead of Brady’s house. The streets are dark and empty, void of any college students. Grant walks me to my door, and I thank him. He has tried to give Brady the benefit of the doubt the whole ride over. I appreciate his attempt but right now, I just need some time to myself.
Jessa is asleep when I enter the room, so I tiptoe into my bed. No need to change into pajamas since I’m already wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. The smell of Brady, embedded into his shirt, fills my nostrils as I lie in bed awake. I check my phone, nothing.
I replay everything that’s happened throughout the last few weeks. The longer I lie there, the farther away I feel from him. I put my ear buds in, listening to The Invisibles album he put on there for me. The slow songs that I thought were about a special girl in his life that broke his heart start playing. They all hold the common theme of someone being lost, alone, and walking away.
I bolt up in bed, almost hitting my head on the ceiling. I rush down my steps, throwing my shoes back on. Jessa’s keys are sitting on the dresser so I jot down a quick note and grab them.