She took the final step that stood between them. “Swear to me that you won’t let anything happen to my child and that if I survive this you’ll get me to him.”
“I swear.” He started to say more but didn’t or couldn’t. Slowly, without taking his eyes from hers, he lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. “I won’t let you down.”
For that brief moment a memory surfaced-him holding her…kissing her. She blinked the image away. She remembered something he’d said that first day they’d met…something about their relationship before.
“Did we…?” Her gaze locked with his and she pleaded for the whole truth. She didn’t want any more lies. She was so sick and tired of deception.
“Yes.” He lowered his hand and backed off emotionally. She felt his withdrawal. “But that was before. Our…personal relationship ended when you went undercover.”
That meant only one thing. “He’s Nicholas’s father.” The words were scarcely a whisper, a mere breath, but the realization was so profound she staggered beneath the weight of it. On some level she’d known.
“Yes,” Tanner admitted. “He’s the father. Do you understand what that means?”
She looked up at him once more.
“If he finds out about the child, he’ll do whatever necessary to get his hands on him. Is this the kind of life you want for your child?”
She shook her head slowly from side to side, the pain now relegated to some rarely used area of gray matter. As the rest of her hurts, it no longer mattered. “I don’t want that.”
“Then this mission is your only hope. As long as Arad is alive, you and your son won’t be safe from his reach. He’s too powerful…too ruthless.”
They were going to kill him, Ami realized. The thought seemed to come from some faraway place. She felt somehow outside her body as she watched her mind absorb the implication of his statement. She’d suspected that, as well.
“You want me to help you kill him.”
Again his eyes answered before he did. “Yes.”
How could she do that? He was her son’s father…he was her…lover. Emotion twisted inside her. She wasn’t a murderer. No matter what anyone said, she would not believe that.
“Look at it this way,” Tanner said, calling her attention to him once more, “one more sick terrorist will be dead and you and your son will be free of him once and for all.”
She backed up a step, putting her hands up in a stop fashion. “If he’s so bad, why hasn’t the CIA done this already? Why wait for me to come along? Surely I can’t be that important to the success of the mission.”
Tanner plowed his fingers through his hair, apparently annoyed that she didn’t just go along with his plan. But none of this made sense.
“It’s complicated,” he hedged.
Her fury kindled again. “Don’t let my simple mind stop you from giving an explanation your best shot.”
He held up a hand in protest. “I didn’t mean it that way. There’s just some things that I can’t tell you.”
She gritted her teeth to the count of five in hopes of slowing her anger’s ascent. It didn’t work. “Well, tell me what you can.”
“Arad has served a purpose in the past.”
Disbelief shook her. “So the CIA deals in terrorists? Let them live as long as they serve a purpose. Please, no wonder you guys got your hands slapped after-”
“I told you,” he interrupted pointedly, “that there were certain parts I had to leave out. A perfectly logical explanation regarding his status is one of those things you don’t have clearance for.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
“He’s gotten too powerful, too arrogant. We need him out of the picture.”
“So you people can’t do this?” Ami deadpanned. “You need me-a civilian-to do it for you?” She looked heavenward in exasperation.
“Again,” he said, his patience clearly thinning, “it’s not that simple. And you’re not merely a civilian.”
Apprehension welled inside her. She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Things between her and Michal were-as Tanner so eloquently put it-complicated.
“When this goes down, no one can know we’re responsible. The setup with you is perfect.” Tanner splayed his hands as if the answer were clear. “Think about it. Everyone knows you betrayed him two years ago, now you’re back. It won’t come as any surprise if he comes up dead with you hanging around again.”
Ami felt certain he had no idea how his words affected her. Her whole body rejected the idea…but some brain cell connected to long-term memory that had lain dormant for two long years suddenly went active and she knew Tanner was right. “So it’s true, I did betray him?”
Tanner’s guard came up. “We’ve been over this before. You went undercover to set up Yael Peres. You used Arad to accomplish that and left him to face the Israelis’ wrath. That he escaped was pure luck.”
She searched his eyes, looking for any indication that he was lying to her. “Why did I do that? Set up Peres, I mean?”
Tanner shifted, his impatience palpable now, his gaze averted. “We’ve been over that part, too,” he said crisply.
“No.” Ami waited until he looked at her again. “Not that part. I need to know why the CIA wanted Peres out of the way.”
His anger resurfacing, Tanner’s jaw hardened. “Because he was secretly using his influence in the Israeli government to undermine Israeli-U.S. relations.” He had to pause a moment to contain his emotions. She saw the muscle jerking rhythmically in his jaw, saw the vein throb on his forehead. He took a deep breath and continued, “If you watch the news you know how vital that relationship is. We can’t let anything jeopardize it.”
She nodded. Even she could see the necessity in that. But Michal… An ache banded around her chest at even the thought of having anything to do with hurting him. She knew she shouldn’t feel that way. He was a terrorist. A kidnapper. A murderer.
Her son’s father…her lover… But if she didn’t do this she would never see her son again. Michal had chosen his own path. As helpless as she was at the moment, she had, as well. But her son was the true innocent in all this.
She closed her eyes and forced all emotion aside. “What do you want me to do?”
Jack swallowed back the regret that stuck in his craw. He hated this shit. He should just take her right now and get her the hell out of here. He set his jaw hard and forced himself to do what had to be done.
“Arad will take on another job in a few days. I’ll need specifics in order to catch him off guard. Times, rendezvous points, anything you can get. Then I’ll take care of the rest. It’s going to look as if someone trying to get at you took him down.”
A frown furrowed its way across her brow. “But how can I do that now? Raoul has probably already sent word to him that I-”
“You have to go back,” Jack interjected. “It’s the only way.”
She retreated a step as if preparing to flee. “How can I do that? Raoul-”
“Is dead,” he cut in again.
Jack allowed the impact of those two words to sink in before he continued. “As soon as my team recognized what you were up to, we sent someone in and terminated him. We’ve since pretty much wrecked the room so that it’ll look like someone broke in, killed Raoul and nabbed you.”
Her complexion turned ashen. “Because I tried to escape, you had him killed?”
Jack considered whether he should tell her the truth or not, but opted to keep things on the level. “We had no choice. We need your cover intact.”
She blinked, looking far too close to fainting for his liking, but he couldn’t let her see anything less than complete detachment on his part.
“What do we do now?” Her voice sounded small, like a lost child’s.
He brutally squashed the urge to tell her everything…to take her and run as far and fast as he could. “Most likely someone in the hotel, an associate of Arad’s, has already informed him of the incident and he’s probably on his way back here right now or may even be here as we speak. We’ll release you on the street and you’ll say that you escaped.” He gestured to the room at large. “Tell him you were kept here. We’ve planted evidence to indicate a local group of extremists were responsible for the incident.”