That, above all else, was the one thing she was infinitely certain she could not do.
When the door to the bedroom opened, she stood in the middle of the room waiting for whatever was to come.
Judging by the intensity in Michal’s eyes, he was still plenty angry.
“Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head. He had, actually, but not the kind of hurt she felt certain to which Michal referred. She massaged her throat, subconsciously contradicting her response.
He paused only inches away and tugged her hand from her throat. “You will have more bruises,” he commented, surveying the red welts on her flesh.
She nodded. “Thank you for stopping him.” It sounded lame in afterthought, but she was immensely grateful for what he’d done. Her fate had already been decided by Carlos.
Michal’s gaze zoomed in on hers like twin piercing laser beams. “Carlos believed you were hiding something.” He inclined his head and studied her eyes, her face, more closely. “Are you hiding anything from me?”
She tamped down the automatic need to stiffen, to avert her eyes. He was watching for those very warning signals. “No.” The word didn’t come out quite as firmly as she would have liked, but she’d gotten it past the constriction in her throat. That was something. Her heart knocked brutally against her rib cage. He knew something. She was sure of it.
There was no way to know which of her secrets he’d uncovered. If she gave away the wrong one…
“Why do you still question me, Michal?” she demanded, hoping to shift the context of the discussion. She lifted her chin and glared at him defiantly. “If you suspect me of some deceit, why didn’t you let Carlos do what he would? Surely he would have extracted whatever truth you believe I’m hiding.”
Fury flashed in those midnight-black eyes. “Answer the question. Do you or do you not have something you wish to tell me?”
Though she could not recall anything about her life before two years ago, other than the dreams of her with this man, Ami couldn’t imagine that she had ever used her body to keep herself out of trouble. She had lived, until quite recently, in a very safe environment with a man who believed women to be equal to men in every way. She had a respected career as a nurse and she was the loving mother to a toddler. An ache pulsed through her when Nicholas’s face filtered through her mind.
The very idea of whoring herself to achieve some cause…of setting up a man for betrayal…of betraying her own father, was utterly alien to her. It simply couldn’t be possible. The events she had witnessed the past two weeks were like scenes in some action-adventure movie or high-tech video game. None of it felt real.
But it was.
She looked deeply into Michal’s eyes. And she had to do whatever it took to stay in the game.
No, she didn’t want to help the CIA or anyone else harm Michal.
No, she couldn’t bear the thought of being responsible, directly or indirectly, for anyone else’s life.
But she was damn sure going to take responsibility for her own survival.
In this game, she was on her own. There was no way forward, that she could see, and no way back.
There was only now.
And right now she needed Michal Arad to need her. She wanted him to trust her whether she deserved it or not. Most of all, she longed to live at least two more days…time enough to figure out how to accomplish the two most important missions of her life.
She must find a way to get back to her child if only for a moment. To hold him just one more time before she died.
But first, she had to figure out how to save Michal’s life without alerting the CIA to her new stand.
And all of that hinged on one person. Fran Woodard. If Fran warned Tanner, Ami was doomed.
For now, though, she had a more pressing matter to which to attend.
Earning Michal’s trust again now that he’d had to kill his right-hand man for her.
“I have nothing to hide from you,” she told him in the most sensual tone she could muster with the image of death still indelibly seared in her brain.
Something like regret flickered in those sinfully dark pools focused solely upon her. Fear that she’d somehow said the wrong thing made her heart stutter. But she couldn’t stop now.
“You pulled me back into a world of which I have no memory.” Her gaze locked fully with his, despite the worry that he would read the confusion and fear churning inside her. “You tell me all the despicable things I did before and how a good portion of the world, including you, have reason to want me dead. But you allow me to live.” She tried without success to shake off the surreal quality that very nearly overwhelmed her. It all felt so impossible…but it was real.
He was real.
And he held the power over her very existence.
“And still you question me?” She turned her back on him, praying her ruse would work to divert his focus. “What makes you any better than Carlos?” she added for good measure as she folded her arms over her breasts.
She heard the raggedness of his breath as he exhaled. Afraid to even drag in a breath of her own, she held absolutely still and waited for his reaction.
“I trust that you will tell me anything you believe I should know,” he said finally, his tone gentler now but laced with a definite defeat that she would never have associated with the dangerous man known as Michal Arad.
Facing him once more, she struggled to read his eyes, but they quickly shuttered, refusing her access to his true feelings. Her chest felt suddenly heavy with sadness then. This was his world…a world of kill or be killed…of distrust and constantly looking over one’s shoulder. As much fear as he could inspire in others, he was just a man, sentenced to a prison of living for the day with no promise of tomorrow. For that, she wept inside, her heart squeezing, bleeding for him. She suddenly wanted to know all she had forgotten about this man. Where had he come from? What had happened in his life to shape him into the ruthless killer he was today? She resisted the urge to shake her head. Not totally ruthless, she argued with herself. There was a human compassion in Michal Arad that none of the others with whom he associated possessed.
That was the part that attracted her to him.
The part that promised hope.
“There is one thing I’d like you to know,” she said as she reached for the buttons of his shirt.
He stilled her hands by covering them with his own. Her gaze bumped into his and she saw resistance there. He didn’t want to be seduced. Here was a man accustomed to doing the seducing. Well, this time it was going to be different.
“And what is that?” he asked cautiously.
She twined her fingers with his and moved closer still. “That I need you more than I’ve ever needed you before.” She pulled his hands down to her waist and settled them there so that she could return to the task of releasing the buttons of his shirt. It startled her to realize just how true the words she’d spoken were.
She did need him.
And, as crazy as it sounded, he needed her.
She touched the bronzed skin revealed as his shirt, free of the buttons restricting it, gaped open. Her breath caught and heat instantly shot her internal thermometer into the red.
“I killed a man for you today and I would do it again if necessary. But I do not take death lightly. Do not play games with me now, Ami,” he whispered savagely, his hands tightening on her waist.
Hearing him call her Ami instead of Amira sent a thrill through her. But it was the ferocity of the fire in his eyes that undid her the most.
“Michal.” She took his handsome face in her hands and was caught off guard all over again at how very much her son looked like him. “This is not a game.” She pulled his mouth down to hers and whispered, “It’s very, very real.”
She pressed her lips to his and kissed him with all the desperation exploding inside her. The exotic taste that was purely Michal assaulted her senses, weakened her knees. He pulled her closer, sensing her need for support.