“Since when?” Brian pressed.
Eyes stinging, Trey shook his head. He wished he’d never brought it up. He placed both hands on Brian’s chest and shoved, breaking Brian’s grip on his arms. Trey refused to break down in front of him. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected Brian to say or do, but he thought Brian would at least be a little understanding. Make him feel better. Show some of that compassionate heart of his. Not be a royal asshole about it.
Brian caught his arm. “How long, Trey?”
“A long fucking time, Brian. Okay? But I’m over it now.”
“Liar. I know you.”
“You don’t know me very well, if this is such a big surprise to you.” Trey pulled away from him again. He had to get off the bus. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. But he could feel. And it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
Trey had only taken two steps when Brian grabbed the back of his shirt and tossed him into the corner next to the stereo system in the living area. Brian moved in front of him to block his escape. “Don’t run from me. You’re the one who brought this up and we’re going to have it out now.”
Trey glared at him. “Get out of my face or I’m going to fucking punch you.”
“So punch me then.”
Trey shook his head and lowered his gaze. Brian was right. They needed to get this all out in the open so Trey could find a way to move on. “Did you really not know that I’m in love with you? I thought it was pretty obvious.”
“I know that you’re attracted to me, but I didn’t think you loved me. I didn’t think you loved anyone.”
“I’ve loved you since that first time you made love to me.”
Brian’s body tensed and he took a step backwards. Trey made the mistake of looking at him. Pissed? Why was he pissed?
Jaw set, Brian rubbed a hand over his face. “God, I’m never going to live that down. Look, Trey, I’m sorry about that. I honestly don’t know what got into me that night. I was a little drunk and so horny I probably would’ve fucked just about anyone.”
“It didn’t mean anything to you?”
Brian tossed his head back as if surprised that Trey was stupid enough to ask such a ridiculous question. “Of course it didn’t mean anything. I fucked you, Trey. That’s all it was. You should know what sex for the sake of sex means more than anyone.”
Trey knew all about meaningless sex, but losing his virginity to Brian had meant everything to him. They’d connected on an emotional level. At least, he’d thought they had. Apparently he couldn’t have been more wrong. He’d never meant anything romantic to Brian. Nothing.
Trey stared at him for a long moment, no longer hurt, just kind of numb. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, Trey. I didn’t know you felt that way. If I had, I would have set you straight.”
“No reason to be sorry. I’m never sorry for the idiots who fall in love with me just because I fuck them.” And if he’d made them all feel this worthless and used, he was the one who was sorry. He’d never meant to hurt anyone. But this… this hurt.
“You should have told me sooner,” Brian said.
Why? So Trey could’ve had his heart shredded before he’d found Reagan? No thanks. He had a powerful need to see her now. Surely, she was almost done rehearsing. He needed her love to fill the gaping hole inside him. “Can I go now? Or would you like to twist the knife in my chest a few more times?”
“This isn’t going to affect our music, is it?”
“Give me some credit, Brian. Has it been an issue before? Forget I said anything. Okay?”
This time when Trey forced his body out of the corner and headed for the exit, Brian let him go. Not that he’d ever wanted to keep him in the first place.
Chapter 33
Ethan automatically reached for his holster when Trey appeared beside him. Ethan didn’t carry a gun, but old habits were hard to break and he was on his guard for anyone who looked remotely threatening to Reagan. He hadn’t let her out of his sight all day. He even stood outside the door whenever she used the bathroom. Despite his continual questioning of everyone, no one had seen anyone put the flowers in her room and no one had any idea who might want to harm her. Trey wasn’t interested in Ethan. He watched Reagan, who was playing through the set again, this time with only Dare. Ethan couldn’t read Trey’s expression, but something was obviously bothering him and he seemed to think Reagan was required to make things right.
“You okay?” Ethan asked.
“Is she almost done?”
“They just started up again after a little break. She’s working so hard to get this right.”
“She’s already perfect.”
Ethan chuckled. “I think so too.” Ethan glanced around to make sure no one was watching and then placed a gentle hand in the center of Trey’s back. Trey was shaking like a leaf. “What happened?”
“I told Brian,” he whispered.
He didn’t have to say what he told Brian. The night before, Reagan had pestered Trey about telling Brian his feelings and Ethan had tried to stay out of it. “How did he react?”
Trey leaned against Ethan’s side and he knew Reagan didn’t want anyone to know that the three of them had something more than friendship together, but Ethan wanted to comfort Trey. He wanted to let his love for him show. Fuck the world and its limited views on acceptable relationships. Why couldn’t he love a man? He did. Ethan’s arm tightened around Trey’s body and drew him closer. He brushed his lips against Trey’s ear as he whispered. “You can tell me. I’m here for you too.”
Several members of the crew had noticed them and were gawking. Trey glanced up at him but didn’t pull away. He didn’t seem to care that people knew about them either. If only Reagan were equally unconcerned. Ethan looked up at the stage. Trey followed his line of sight to Reagan. He sighed and pulled away, putting several inches between them.
“I’m going to go wait for Reagan in her dressing room,” Trey said.
Ethan nodded. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that she was the one who Trey would turn to. Trey loved her, after all, and Ethan knew Trey just thought of him as a fuck buddy.
“Will you come with me?” Trey whispered.
Ethan almost didn’t hear him over the wail of two guitars. “Alone?”
Trey gave him one of his transform-Ethan-into-a-steaming-kettle-of-lust crooked grins and Ethan knew he would have followed him over a cliff.
“Please,” Trey added.
Ethan glanced back at the stage. Surely Reagan was safe here surrounded by the crew and rehearsing on stage with Dare. He’d already alerted everyone to be on the lookout for suspicious characters. Everyone in the stadium had her back. She’d be okay if he let her out of his sight for a few minutes as long as there were a lot of people around. She’d likely be up on stage for another hour and wouldn’t even miss him. “Okay.” He followed Trey to the corridor behind the stage where there were several dressing rooms. Again, Reagan had a private dressing room. There were perks to being the only female on an all-male tour.
As soon as they were inside her dressing room, away from prying eyes, Trey turned into Ethan’s chest and wrapped both arms around his waist. Ethan locked him in a firm embrace, one hand cradling the back of Trey’s head to press his face against his neck. Trey’s trembling intensified, but he didn’t cry. Ethan was glad because he didn’t think he could handle that.
“Brian didn’t take it well, I assume,” Ethan said quietly.
Trey shook his head. “He thought my feelings for him were friendship and simple attraction. Reagan was wrong. I shouldn’t have told him how I feel about him. Now things are going to be awkward between us.”