Since the revolution, my father asserted, not only were the affected children receiving medicine at no charge, but the spread of the parasites had been stopped. How? Simply by handing out free shoes to each and every Cuban child. Evidently the worms entered through cuts on their feet. “You know how we’ve all seen pictures of happy children in tropical countries, running barefoot?” my father said. “It isn’t because they’re so carefree. It’s because their parents have no money to give them shoes.”
That wasn’t his last anecdote, despite the promise to my mother. But I didn’t hear the next one. I dozed off, thinking of those insidious worms, picturing them crawling into my feet. I didn’t know they got in as microscopic eggs; I imagined fully developed creatures puncturing my skin. I saw them slither up into my stomach, winding around and around, ropes of quivering slimy robbers, eating me alive.
There was one sitting on my chest as I slept, crawling toward my face.
I woke up screaming.
Once my mother calmed me, I was hungry. My arm didn’t hurt at all. Grandma cooked biftec palomillo and plátanos for my father and me. We ate dinner side by side at the yellow kitchen Formica table. Grandma, Grandpa and Mom watched us. Grandpa was full from snacking on the Cuban sandwiches he had bought coming back from the airport; Grandma ate at the counter while cooking; and my mother refused any food. She touched her flat stomach and insisted she had gained too much weight.
“You’re very beautiful,” Grandma answered. “But you’re too skinny,” she added in a friendly tone.
“I love you Mama,” my mother said to her. They hugged at Grandma’s post by the stove with as much feeling as if they were saying goodbye for a long time. “I need to have you with me all the time,” Ruth said as they let go of each other.
The fried bananas were sweet and, thanks to my Grandmas technique, weren’t greasy. I ate as many as my father did. He was silent. His eyes were alive with internal conversation and speeches. I understood that he was rehearsing for the radio program. I could see his lips occasionally part and seem to whisper something. When his mother touched the back of his head lovingly he didn’t react. After he finished his dinner and was waiting for his espresso, my mother reached over and took his hand. He squeezed it but still looked through and beyond her.
Outside, the sky — blue all day — was now being churned by black clouds. I saw lightning flash, cutting across one of the dark masses in the sky. Huge drops of rain followed. They splattered noisily against the windows. Thunder cracked above us. The noise was clear and terrible: as if God had broken the sky across His knee.
I wanted to run and hide in the bedroom. I was too embarrassed for that. But I did slide off my chair and hide under the table.
The grown-ups laughed good-naturedly. The room had darkened so much from the black rain clouds that Pepín turned on the kitchen light. I stayed under the table. I took hold of my cast with my free hand; for the first time I was glad to feel my new armor.
“No Pepito,” Grandma protested about the light. She believed it was dangerous to use electricity while there was a lightning storm.
There was a clap right above us, ear-splitting and awful. All the lights went out. My mother shrieked in surprise. I must have screamed. The next thing I knew my father was beside me. He had folded up his tall body and crawled under the table. He winked at me. I was so scared by the thunder that at first I didn’t get his joke of a performance of boyish fear. I thought he was as scared as me.
“Mira, Francisco!” my grandmother said, chuckling.
Again the sky split open. This time Grandma exclaimed at the boom.
“I’m getting under there with you,” my mother said. She kicked off her high-heeled shoes (she was dressed up for the radio show) and scrambled next to my father and me. She gathered me in her arms and snuggled Francisco. I smelled his aftershave and her perfume. The rain came hard and fast and straight; peering up at the window, it was as thick as a curtain. I could no longer see the palm leaves of the backyard tree. Literally we huddled as a family, sheltered from the storm. I was eight. That was the last time my mother, my father and I embraced.
Overheated afternoon Florida storms rarely last for more than thirty minutes. It’s as if the weather were a toddler, exhausted and frustrated by the long hot day, letting loose a tantrum of rage and tears that is gone as suddenly as it begins. An hour later there was no sign of the cooling rain, except that the suffocating humidity had been slightly ventilated. By then it was time to go. I asked my father to take me with him to the radio show. Ruth, Jacinta, and Pepín all said no.
Francisco overruled them. He put his arm around me and said, “I have to take Rafe with me. He proves to those Yanquis I’m no crazy radical. How could I be? Look at him!” He hooked me with his arm and squeezed my head. “He’s a real American boy. That radio host will take one look at Rafael and he’ll believe everything I say.”
He insisted Grandpa stay home to keep Grandma company. “I’ll be my own chauffeur,” he said. I sat in the back seat of the Plymouth; my mother rode in the front with Francisco. I can’t recall (and there have been many concentrated attempts at recovering all the details of that day) what stopped me from remembering the blue car with the white hat and mentioning it to my parents. I can summon a vivid memory of pressing my face against the rear window to see if there were any cars behind us. Why did I do that, if not to search for the blue and white car? Maybe I was uninformative because I didn’t have a chance to look very long. Francisco, tense while he searched for the radio station’s building, snapped, “Sit down, Rafe! I can’t see out the rearview mirror!”
The radio station was in a beige four-story building beside a highway overpass. The street consisted of office buildings and had a spooky deserted look, although it was early evening. We parked across from the entrance.
The host signed my cast. So did his producer, a young woman. They were friendly. The producer gave me a Coke and brought my parents coffee. The host was especially cheerful and welcoming. Until airtime.
“Aren’t you a Communist sympathizer, Mr. Neruda? I’ve read your article in the New York Times.” He said New York as though it were contemptible. “You make every possible excuse for Fidel Castro’s crimes of robbery and murder. It doesn’t matter that he has destroyed countless family businesses, grabbing the money they worked hard for, supposedly to spend on the peasants. My bet is it’s all going into a Swiss bank account. But you and the New York Times tell us it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that Castro has firing squads working round the clock killing people whose only crime was that they were soldiers following orders. You call these understandable excesses. Some excesses. I wonder how you would feel if some foreign reporter called it an understandable excess when the Communists take all your money and shoot you in cold blood.”
Ruth and I were in a room down the hall from the studio where we had been graciously invited by the producer to make ourselves comfortable. We could listen to the show over a speaker mounted flush into the ceiling.