Blake
• • •
Let me see what you do and I’ll jump in. But you do plan to have Adam bitten, right?
Paul
• • •
For sure.
And here’s my outline plan…
Adam 4.0 (almost done) will end with him leaving the mat ward to go get blood.
Herrick 1.0 will be her beginning to treat Stacie, and then oasis shows up and wreaks havoc, she gets bitten but scares O off.
Adam 5.0 - will be Adam goes down to the blood bank with only a scalpel to retrieve blood bags for Stacie, is chased, almost killed, but makes it back to the ER.
Oasis 4.0 - short, Oasis pissed, trying to figure out how to kill an adult.
Adam 6.0 - Adam returns to the ward with the blood and Herrick gets Stacie hooked up, but she starts to feel bad and leaves (they haven’t seen these things turn so they don’t know what the symptoms mean. Adam starts to comfort his wife and take care of his newborn daughter when Oasis shows up. Minister vs. 8-year-old dracula girl…can’t wait to write this scene. Just as O is getting ready to overpower him, Clay arrives. (but Adam is bitten). I think Herrick can show back up after this at some point after clay arrives for a big scare.
Blake
• • •
Very cool. Is Stacy going to make it? If not, I have uses for that blood.
Paul
• • •
Not sure yet…my thought is she’s touch-and-go as Clay and Adam roll her and the baby out of the maternity ward and they go in search of a way to get on the roof. But Adam is bringing back tons of blood bags. He’s going to use them like grenades.
Blake
• • •
Sounds awesome. But don’t have Adam bitten until he’s on the roof.
Joe
• • •
Are elevators working?
Blake
• • •
No elevators. Are you thinking Adam has a cart for the blood?
Joe
• • •
How about this for Randall, since the outlines thus far don’t really address what’s going to happen with the kids in pediatrics.
He reaches pediatrics just as Benny is attacking. Randall is absolutely pissed beyond belief that the clown has his chainsaw. Benny loses the fight, and Randall gets his beloved chainsaw back.
They need to get the kids out. With Randall in the front, carving up every dracula that comes at them, and Jenny in the back, they move through the hospital as a group. The noise attracts more draculas, but that’s fine, because Randall is ready to saw up as many of those things as will come at him. He’s feeling alive.
They make it outside the hospital. There’s a news van out there. Randall gets the kids into the back of the van…but Jenny isn’t with them anymore. A dracula grabbed her. The van drives off with the kids, but Randall has to go back into the hospital. He saves Jenny again, but his chainsaw dies, and now there are too many creatures in the lobby, feasting on the dismembered corpses of their fellow draculas. They need another way out. Which connects us back to the idea of going to the roof…
Jeff
• • •
No, just wanted to know what options he’s got. Nurse Herrick just gave him the most convoluted directions to the blood bank in history. Of course, it’s in the basement. I’m actually afraid for him.
Blake
• • •
@ Jeff - That works for me. Or they can meet with Clay and Adam in the hall and all go up together. If Jenny dies get separated, I need a lead dracula to terrorize her.
@ Blake - Is Adam going to kill Oasis? Or will he balk at killing a child? Also, Adam will have an overnight bag for the hospital stay. He can fill a wheeled suitcase with blood packs.
Joe
• • •
Adam 4.0 up…may need to do an accuracy polish later on what’s happening with Stacie medically.
Blake
• • •
You can give Adam an iPad, which he reads the bible on. That could be his light. Or just a regular book light, for late night gospel reading. He’ll need something in the basement.
Joe
• • •
Joe, cool. Jenny doesn’t need to be separated for long—basically, she’s not there when Randall gets outside with the kids, but he finds her again fairly quickly after he gets back inside. She’s had her big showdown with Lanz, so I think it’s fine to keep it all in Randall’s POV until they’re back together, heading upstairs.
Jeff
• • •
Herrick 1.0 is up…on to Adam’s journey into the basement.
Blake
• • •
I did a quick draft of this to get it out of my system.
When Adam pulls the trigger, it would be nice to have a POV character see the windows blow out from the parking lot.
Paul
• • •
I’ll read it right now. Oasis 4.0 is up…short scene in the maternity ward.
Blake
• • •
Paul, that’s beautiful. I can see this all coming together now. There will be a touching scene between Adam and Stacie right before Randall takes Stacie and the baby up to the roof. She’ll be back into consciousness, holding their daughter, blood flowing into her, and Adam is leaving them, infected, to go with Randall to kill these monsters. I fucking LOVE this.
Blake
• • •
I head Adam on the roof: “I can’t turn into one of these abominations. I won’t!”
Clay: “That can be arranged.”
Paul
• • •
That was I hear Adam…
Sheesh
Paul
• • •
I think this is the first time I’m really catching a glimpse of how this thing is going to wrap up, of seeing the sum of the parts, and it’s truly exciting. Gonna be a helluva book.
Blake
• • •
Adam 5.0 is up…which is halfway through his journey into hell.
Blake
• • •
Jeff 7.0 is up…wherein the lumberjack and the clown and set up for their final confrontation.
Jeff
• • •
Going way back to the beginning of the process, I was very happy to see Blake’s glorious “intestines stuck in the drawer” sequence. I thought “Sweet! We get to have FUN with this thing!”
Jeff
• • •
I’m reading this and laughing while I’m worrying about Randall. Together the 4 of us have created, I think, the paradigm of balancing horror and humor. I armed Randall with the ultimate hand weapon, and you, Jeff (you should add, btw, something about its awesome recoil) have used incidents from previous chapters to render it useless against Benny.
Paul
September 13, 2010
Paul, I’m redoing the infodump scene, trying to make it less on the nose. It begins with Clay and Shanna in the stairwell, and Shanna isn’t packing heat.
Did I miss something, or in the previous scene was Shanna gung-ho about carrying a weapon, and refused to give it back?
Joe
• • •
It didn’t ring true, so I’m going to change it when we go back for fix-ups.