I just turned the gist of this into a Word file (“Timeline”) for the drop box so it will be easier to access.
Haven’t read it yet.
This comes at a pretty good time for me. Looking forward to digging in.
Paul
August 16, 2010
Thanks, Blake! Looks like you’ve been working your ass off on this!
I’m having dinner with Mr. Konrath on Wednesday, and we’re going to work out the relationship between our dating characters. So I’ll probably have my chapter done shortly after that, probably on Friday.
Jeff
August 17, 2010
This is a really great opening.
By my count, here’s who’s contaminated by the end of what’s written:
Mortimer
EMT (bitten)
Oasis (bitten)
Oasis’s mom (dead)
Benny (dead)
Dr. Lanz (tasted bloody foam)
Softball #1 (assumed wounded?)
Softball #2 (assumed wounded?)
(I added a line to the bottom of pg 16 to cover Lanz tasting some of Mort’s bloody foam.)
I’ll have Winslow do triage and Lanz start treating who he can. The softballers will die which will mean 4 in the morgue. I can bring a few more victims in from the floors to raise the total contaminated to 10. Since Lanz’s inoculum will be the smallest, I’ll make him the last to turn at the end of the chapter.
Any additions, suggestions, corrections?
Paul
• • •
Paul this sounds great…
Re: dead v. wounded…what about having the softballers massively wounded. For some reason, overweight vampires in softball uniforms strike me as pretty terrifying. But if Mortimer could have killed four others elsewhere and they’re brought to the ER, that would raise the dead count to 6 and make for an appropriately loud number of dead in the morgue lockers.
Additionally, I would hit these points in your chapter for setup purposes…Mortimer is missing now in the hospital. You might mention Lanz seeing Randall limping off into the hospital carrying a chainsaw (love this image). Joe’s Jenny chapter and Jeff’s Randall chapter, which directly follow this one, can deal with Jenny trying to stop Randall but by God he’s gonna take care of this. An important moment b/c they’ll be separated and trying to get back together I would think. I would end this chapter with Lanz turning and maybe noticing others turning. One character we should keep track of is Shanna. Perhaps Lanz, still fighting the change in himself, scares her and she takes off. And if you could have Lanz send Winslow off to the morgue to make sure the dead were properly stowed away, that will set up my next chapter. Can’t wait to read this!
I’ll start outlining the outbreak chapter to send around.
Blake
August 18, 2010
Spitballing here:
Is Mort going to be the alpha dracula, with some influence over the others? If so, Lanz, with his ego, might want to challenge that after things get rolling. (After all, it’s my hospital.) Might be a good plot complication - everything’s going the draculas’ way when there’s an attempted coup.
Paul
• • •
I like Lanz trying to become alpha dracula, but let’s remember these things are feral with only rudimentary thought processes—think Matheson’s Born of Man and Woman, but not as smart.
I just did a minor polish on what we have so far, tweaking and fixing some repetitive words. I’m meeting with Jeff tonight to talk about our characters’ interactions.
I don’t think this will take as much coordination as Blake does. As long as the major beats are down (when the cops come, when the electricity goes out, etc.) we should be able to write four relatively self-contained stories.
Mine will be Jenny the nurse searching for her ex-husband, Randy, and trying to save as many survivors as possible. She’ll start with the pediatric wing. Her nemesis is Oasis, the girl.
Paul is writing for Clayton, Shanna, and Lanz. Clayton’s goals will be to find Shanna, and kill as many draculas as possible. This is the end-of-the-world scenario he’s been preparing for since his dad built a bomb shelter and taught him about survival.
Blake is doing the pregnant couple, in the maternity ward. It would make sense that Moorecook wants to make a dracula army, but babies wouldn’t really play a part in that. So he and his brood would use infants for food. I’d guess that Blake’s heroes would try to prevent that.
Jeff’s lumberjack, Randall, will be searching for Jenny. Perhaps a side quest will have him trying to turn the electricity back on—he’s a handyman-type. He’ll eventually have a confrontation with Clayton, which should be an important scene because if either of them spill any blood during their tussle, the draculas will sniff them out.
I’m thinking 15k words each. We could conceivably finish our sections by the end of the month, then string it together. Remember to write in your own named files, not in the DRACULAS 1.3 file.
This is going to be fun. And let’s pile on the Gran Guignol. This is the anti-Twilight, and a chance to really let loose our inner gorehounds.
Joe
• • •
Paul — I was going to say pretty much what Joe said—let’s try it but make sure we keep these draculas on a single-minded, low-functioning level. Mort is the head dracula, since he was bitten by the original skull and as a result will undergo some interesting changes the more yummy blood he gulps down. But let’s see where the power struggle takes us. I’ll keep an eye on Lanz’ progression through the hospital as you write him and we’ll have our draculas collide.
Blake
• • •
As I said, just spitballing - if it don’t stick to the wall, we leave in on the floor.
Paul
• • •
All - I just dropped the morgue scene in chapter 7 into the box. I was thinking that chapter could handle Winslow’s pov, along with all our draculas on the loose, so feel free to add Oasis, Lanz, and Benny the Clown pov’s into that word doc.
Blake
August 19, 2010
As I’m writing I find I need basic info — like where we are and last names. (unless I missed something.)
Where IS Blessed Crucifixion?
I gave Jenny “Bolton” as a placeholder surname. I’d guess Randall’s is the same.
Kurt Lanz
Clay Theel
Mortimer Moorecook
Nurse Winslow
what about Shanna?
Paul
• • •
Sorry…that went out prematurely. I spotted Durango in chapter 1 (long time since I read it). But people often refer to each other by last names, so…
Paul
• • •
Paul, effin’ loved your scene. Black humor, great characters, A few quick suggestions.
1. Can the paramedic also say, “I need a tetnus shot. And rabies. And antiserum. You see that goddamn guy? Fucking give me every shot you’ve got.”
2. Jenny tells him “I’m waiting for my ex-husband.” Randall is coming back with a chainsaw, to escort Jenny to the pediatrics ward to protect the kids. That is going to be Randy and Jen’s story arc—barricading themselves in the children’s wing—and I think Jen should think of it almost immediately. Maybe she should insist to Lanz to evacuate the hospital, and he says something like, “Evacuate where? We’re in the middle of Bumblefuck, Hickville. I’m supposed to march 234 patients out into the woods?”
That gives us a patient number, reinforces that they can’t get away, and tells Lanz where Jenny will be when he becomes a dracula and decided to eject her himself.
Joe
• • •
And just to clarify: