No one writes or edits or corrects anyone else’s section without specific permission from the writer. We’ll all do a final edit when we put this together. But for the first few drafts, let’s all make suggestions, but no rewriting.
And when you do a second draft, save it numerically. Paul 1.0, Paul 1.1, Paul 1.2, etc. Get used to doing a new draft every time you make a change or an addition. We’ll all be reading each other, and may need to go back to earlier drafts and lift stuff from them. Keeping the drafts separate will make it easier.
Joe
• • •
I should be able to fling my first chapter into the dropbox sometime tomorrow, with another one by Sunday. Thus far, I’ve had a lot of fun justifying the preposterous idea that Randall is actually going to limp out of the hospital to get a chainsaw from his truck. He acts impulsively, realizes quickly that he’s acting impulsively, but refuses to back down from a task once he’s started, even as he thinks “Y’know, the hospital security probably isn’t going to want to let me back inside with a chainsaw in my hands.” This is a large part of why he and Jenny are no longer married.
Jeff
• • •
Nice! Looking forward.
Blake
• • •
Chap 4 is pretty much done. It ends with Oasis and the EMT becoming draculas and killing the LPN while Lanz runs and hides in the supply room. Where those two go from there I don’t know.
I don’t have a sense for what Shanna is doing in all this.
As requested, I added some Lanz to Blake’s Chap. 7. He’s still in the supply room. Here is where he thinks he can beat it but fails miserably — he breaks out and starts chomping. I think Randall has to come through the ER while Lanz has locked himself away.
Paul
• • •
Paul - can’t wait to read your new stuff. Love that Lanz runs and hides again.
Re: Shanna, I would say it’s totally up to you since Clayton Theel is going to come into the hospital looking for her, which I suppose is his first motivation - find Shanna. Perhaps she needs a short chapter where she has lingered in the ambulance, trying to pull herself together, then walks into the ER when all hell has broken loose. Maybe Moorecook chases her out into another part of the hospital? I guess it really depends on what you’re going to do with Shanna and Clayton for the core of your story. Do they have a phone conversation in the ambulance while he’s on his way where she pretty much breaks up with him? Pushing him to search for her even harder?
Joe and Jeff have figured out how their characters are going to interact, mine are probably going to be in a vacuum until the very end, a pregnant couple fighting for their life in the maternity ward. What are you thinking of for Clayton’s journey through hell? Maybe we can find a way to have him intersect with my characters?
Blake
• • •
I think we need a scene where the draculas tell everybody in the hospital that they’ve won the lottery, and as the people walk one-by-one into a private room to collect their winnings, the draculas kill them!
Jeff
• • •
BRILLIANT!
Paul
• • •
I think Shanna outside the hospital doors (cell reception is better there) calling Clay is a good start. She can call off the trip to the gun show. Their relationship is not working…etc. Besides she’s too upset about Mortimer’s collapse.
I think we should have all sorts of character meet-ups. Randall and Lanz have certainly got issues.
I see Clay as like the Terminator when it comes to killing draculas…until his ammo runs out.
Paul
August 20, 2010
Agreed, with the caveat that we can fix typos without consultation. I read Paul’s chapter 4 last night and added a period to one sentence and closed out a quote that needed to be.
Blake
• • •
Joe thinks I’m just crazy and anal (which I’m not refuting) but I don’t think it’s a terrible idea to have a working hospital map that we can refer to to track character movement.
http://www.iredellmemorial.org/guide.aspx?id=922
This is the hospital from the town where I grew up in North Carolina . Services the same community size as Durango (45 thousand in the surrounding counties) but I like the floor plan much better (more stories). I’m not saying we have to stick to this religiously, but I think it may be good to consult. I have to have an idea of the space my characters inhabit, it also prods my creativity, and when I’m not familiar with an environment like this (thank God) I need a little help. Obviously, my characters will be based in the maternity ward. Joe’s will be in pediatrics. Jeff’s is trying to get the power going or something so he can communicate with Jenny. Not sure what Clayton and Shanna are doing yet but my sense is Clayton’s like a kid in a candy shop, a real-life video game where he gets to play with all his toys and he’s going to be fucking blasting through the place until the ammo runs out.
If everyone likes this, I’ll throw it in the dropbox.
Blake
• • •
That hospital is too big, methinks. I was thinking two hundred patients, tops.
Almost done with the morgue scene, then I’ll work on Jenny’s scene.
Joe
• • •
It’s only a 247-bed hospital, so if there are 100-150 patients during the outbreak, doesn’t that seem about right?
Blake
• • •
We can always lop off the 5th floor, too. I think four stories is about right.
Blake
• • •
Also, to make putting this together easier, we need to break up our own individual sections and chapters.
So when I write the first Jenny scene, it will be JOE 1.0, JOE 1.1, etc.
When I write a new scene, it will be JOE 2.0, JOE 2.1. JOE 2.2.
Blake, I’m still working on the morgue scene. But I’ll split up the Lanz section at the end and make that BLAKE 2.0.
That way, we can work on different sections, and it will be easier to piece this into a linear narrative.
Joe
• • •
Joe - I think as soon as
-you write Jenny’s scene
-wrap up the Morgue scene
-write Oasis into 7
-Jeff writes Benny the Clown into 7
-Paul addresses Shanna in chapter 4
we can put all of that into the main manuscript document and we will truly be set up. Then we’ll be crossing over much less than these opening chapters. Also I’m all for getting rid of chapters at the end, but I think it’s been helpful up to this point.
Blake
• • •
Great chapter, Jeff.
Are you sure you want the chainsaw gone so quickly? I’d sorta like Randall to have it for a while. He could siphon gas out of his truck.
I’ll write a scene where Jenny finds Randall and they go to pediatrics. But before I do, let’s decide if the chainsaw is in play or broken. I like it running out of gas, but I also want him to be able to cut some draculas up.
Joe
• • •
Morgue scene done. Have at it.
Had to change the last line, because I introduced Benny earlier, but I think it works.
Joe
• • •
Ditto great chapter, love how you’re bringing out Randall’s stubbornness. I laughed out loud at the wrong church line—absolutely perfectly says who this guy is.
But have to admit, I was sad when he broke the chainsaw. I also hadn’t imagined he would get into it with Mortimer right away. I thought maybe Mortimer’s already gone by the time he gets back. I don’t know. What do you think? You know everyone can’t wait to see Randall fuck some draculas up with a chainsaw so maybe tease it out a bit?