“Don’t worry, I won’t be around.” He looked at the familiar buildings and landscape, his soul taking comfort in just the sight. “I’ll give you some quiet time.”
Ruby took in the landscape as they headed to the lobby, her face lit with enchantment. “I haven’t seen mountains for years, when Mon dragged me all over Europe on his tours.”
Her nose was pink, the freckles across her cheeks standing out even more, and her delight filled him with some emotion he dare not name. Or acknowledge.
The woman at the front desk greeted them with a demure smile. “May I help you?”
Cyn pressed his hands on the granite counter. “Do you have a cottage available for the night?”
She clicked on the keyboard. “You’re in luck. I have one left but only for tonight. Starting tomorrow we’re fully booked with a waiting list. People are panicking about the solar storm, thinking the stronger Deus Vis here will save them.”
It might save them from far worse than the fluctuations of the storm. “We’ll take it.” Cyn handed her his credit card.
Ruby tossed her bag over her shoulder as they headed out of the lobby a few minutes later. “Where did Brom stay when he was here?”
He pointed to a building behind the one they’d just exited.
She stared at the three-story building for a moment, her expression pensive. “Now that one looks like a mental health facility. It’s even got gates around it.”
She continued down the winding path the clerk had highlighted on the map. He followed a couple of feet behind her, watching the way her braid slid back and forth with her movements. Remembering how he’d loosened it and buried his face in her hair. He stifled a sigh.
Some of the people they passed bowed in greeting, wearing the baggy cotton clothing Cyn remembered well. One man whispered, “Namaste.”
“Now it’s looking like a monastery,” Ruby whispered.
“It can be monastic if that’s what you need.” For Cyn, this wasn’t only a place of healing but of penance. He had lived like a monk in one of the many cottages scattered over the property, allowing himself little pleasure and no luxuries. His pace slowed, memories of walking down paths of sharp rocks barefooted to ground himself in his body, the hot springs in caves and cold showers outside the meditation hut, all coming back.
“Is that what you needed?”
“I had to come to terms with the fact that I’d killed a lot of people in the name of right.” He came to a stop at the edge of the labyrinth, short evergreen hedges that followed the concrete path in a round maze. In the center sat the meditation hut. “And that maybe it hadn’t always been so right after all.”
“Brother Cyn?” The words, dripping with incredulity, made them both turn at the man approaching.
He smiled at the sight of his sponsor and clasped the hand offered with both of his. “Brother Cameron, good to see you.”
Cameron was another old Dragon, though he only looked to be in his fifties. The bowl haircut made him appear even younger, the fringe of brown hair straight across his brow like a mod sixties haircut. He looked beyond Cyn to Ruby and said, “Did you bring us another lost soul?” He clasped her hands with both of his, giving her a warm smile. “Welcome, dear.”
Ruby glanced at him, then back to Cam. “I’m not lost.” She turned to Cyn. “Who else did you bring here?”
“Brom. I knew it was what he needed when he was falling apart.”
Cam nodded. “He stayed for a long time. Many people find they stay much longer than they intended. And that they are more lost than they realized.”
“We don’t have time to stay, unfortunately,” Cyn said. “We’ve got a problem in Miami, something I hope Jay Caruso can help us with.”
Cam gave Cyn a look that meant he was assessing him right down to his soul. “Maybe that’s why you think you’ve come.” He gestured to the hut. “Please avail yourself of our facilities. It looks like you could use them.” Compassion tempered his knowing smile. “You, too,” he said to Ruby. “There’s a women’s and men’s side for the springs and showers. The outdoor shower in the garden is open to both genders, so knock before opening the gate.”
Ruby turned to Cyn. “I’ll find the cottage and meet you there later.” She took the map and gave him no choice by heading off.
“I’m here if you want to talk.” Cam gestured to the hut. “Otherwise, please…” He left Cyn to his thoughts.
Cyn didn’t want to talk. What would he say, how he’d caused Ruby the most pain of her life and was selfish enough to still want her? He walked along the circular pathway and ended up around the back of the hut, where a small stone garden and thick hedges surrounded the outdoor shower.
He went inside to the men’s section and pulled out the pants and wrap shirt most of the residents wore. He flagged down one of the employees and asked about getting his clothing cleaned and delivered to the cottage. Then he wrapped a towel around his hips and walked outside.
It was warm for this time of year, about fifty-five degrees. He knocked at the gate, and when no one called out, pushed it open. Just the sight of the tiny garden infused him with peace. He took it in for a few minutes before turning on the shower. Jets of cool water raised a slew of goose bumps on his skin. He relished the discomfort, along with the numbness that followed as he washed his body and hair.
He was the lost soul.
Staying lost would be the best thing. Since Ruby had come into his life with her fire, he couldn’t numb himself anymore. He lifted his face into the stream of spring water and hoped it would cleanse all thoughts of having her from his body, his mind.
Ruby let the hot water pound her body and soothe her aching muscles. For the first several minutes, she found herself continually looking out through the clear shower curtain, imagining a sound or a shadow.
Psycho, anyone?
Except that movie didn’t have demons and tulpas.
She leaned against the tiles, pressing her cheek against the cool ceramic. She was a lost soul, fighting her own emotions with an aching heart. She’d accused Cyn of following orders to kill out of ambitiousness, but she’d seen his loyalty to others. His loyalty to her despite her anger.
Think with your gut.
He followed orders because he had placed his faith in the Guard and, in particular, the man who had raised him. And if she were to concede that maybe her father was good despite his blind ambition, she had to see why Cyn had done the things he had. Not blind ambition, but blind faith.
Deep inside him, he held goodness.
She dried off and dressed, disappointed to find the cottage empty. Where was he? She put her hand to her Dragon. Find him.
Her Dragon jolted at the command like a dog released to find a treat. She followed her instincts to the meditation hut. No surprise. He’d looked at it with the longing of a man who needed solace.
It was late afternoon, though the sun was still high in the sky. She followed the labyrinth, walking into the sanctity of the octagonal building. The blinds let in dim sunlight, the only light in the open room. No chairs, only mats and a few people sitting in lotus positions. None were Cyn.
She wandered through some of the other gardens, finding most of them empty. The sound of running water on the other side of a thick hedge caught her attention. She followed it to a wooden gate. A waterfall? She opened the gate and froze.
She’d found him all right. He stood naked beneath a showerhead, his hands braced on the wall, facing away from her. His head was bowed, as though he were in pain. She automatically put her hand to her throat, feeling it tighten and go dry all at once. Why was he showering out here? Goose bumps covered him. The lack of steam coming from the water made her realize it wasn’t warm either.