Vinnie drives me home from my exam the next day, and for that I’m grateful. I’m feeling extremely drained today and just want to go home and sleep.
“How did you do?” Vinnie asks.
“I think I did well,” I reply. “It wasn’t too hard.”
“Modest aren’t we?” he says with a chuckle.
I shrug. “Just honest. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me tonight while everyone goes out to celebrate.”
“It’s no biggie,” he says. “I was at Toxic last week.”
My head snaps to him. “They’re taking him to a strip club?”
Vinnie grimaces. “Didn’t you know? Fuck.”
Fuck is right. I send a text to Rake.
Faye: Where you taking Dex tonight?”
Rake: Why?
Faye: ‘Cuz I wanna know.
Rake: Wind Dragons ’ night out--don’t ruin it.
Faye: #$!&^&^&^
Rake: Give the man his balls for the night!
Rake: Faye!
Faye: Fine.
Rake: Love you.
Faye: Fuck you.
I tilt my head back against the seat. It’s just a night out. Seeing hot naked women who aren’t pregnant and fat.
Fuck. I’m feeling insecure.
It’s not a good feeling, and it doesn’t look good on me.
“He won’t do anything. They’ll just drink and shoot the shit,” Vinnie tries to assure me.
“Yeah well, let him have his fun,” I reply, trying to keep my tone neutral.
While I sit at home studying and stuffing my face.
I see Jess and Trace sitting in the living area when I walk into the club house. Trace is one of the brothers who I never really talk to. He never really smiles and isn’t friendly and outgoing like the others. He’s very standoffish, and we generally steer clear of each other.
“Hey Jess,” I call out, nodding my head at Trace.
“Hey honey,” she replies. After the night we lost Mary, I gained the respect of the women. I no longer feel like an outsider. I belong here, by Dex’s side.
“How was the exam?” she asks.
“It was good,” I tell her. “I have another one tomorrow.”
Allie walks in behind Tracker. “Hey baby mama,” he says to me, kissing me on the cheek. I see Allie’s eyes flash as he does so, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead she smiles at me in greeting, a smile I return.
“All excited for tonight,” I ask Tracker, unable to mask the anger from my tone.
He shakes his head at me, lip twitching. “Like you have anything to worry about. The man’s not stupid.”
“I know,” I lie.
“Do you?” Tracker replies, tilting his head to the side.
I sigh. “Yeah, I won’t allow myself to be that woman.”
“What woman?”
“You know the one,” I reply, waving my hand in the air.
“No I don’t, how about you explain,” he replies patiently.
“The woman who doesn’t let her man go anywhere alone, or do anything alone. She tags along even when he’s with his friends… I will never be that woman. That woman is insecure and a little co-dependent.”
“Looks like you’ve thought about this a bit too fuckin’ much,” Tracker replies, scrubbing a hand along his jaw. “What I can tell you is that you have nothing to worry about. Believe that.”
“I know. I’m just tired, I’m going to go to bed,” I reply, mustering a small smile for him. The man did just listen to my stupid rant.
“What’s happening tonight?” Allie asks, staring up at Tracker.
“Men are going out. Women are staying their asses at home,” he says, opening the fridge and scanning its contents. “So don’t wait up.”
Allies eyes narrow, but again she stays quiet.
“There’s lasagna in the oven,” I tell Tracker as I exit the room. “Cindy made it today.”
He calls out thanks. I climb into bed and close my eyes, letting sleep take over.
*****
I wake to kisses on my face. “Wake up sleeping beauty, dinner’s ready.”
I smile before I even open my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Seven. You slept for five hours,” he says, kissing down my jawline.
“Happy birthday,” I murmur drowsily. “Did you enjoy your present this morning?”
A deep chuckle. “Babe, there is no better way in the world to wake up. Trust me on that.”
“Hmmmm,” I hum as he continue his soft, chaste kisses.
“Tracker said you wanted to talk to me about something?” he asks, voice getting lower.
“What?” I ask.
“He said I should talk to you. What’s going on?”
Dammit Tracker. “Nothing. I only just found out you were spending the night at a strip club.”
He stills. “Is that where we’re going?”
“You didn’t know?” I ask, turning me head to look at his face.
“No, but I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not a big deal. You know I would never cheat on you right?”
“Yeah, I know. To be completely honest with you, it just hit me that you will be seeing all these beautiful girls, while I’m here with a double chin and swollen feet.”
He makes a strangled noise then breaks out into laughter.
“Oh my god! Don’t laugh at me! I’m being serious,” I snap, pulling on the ends of his hair to get his attention.
“I happen to love your double chin,” he says, kissing it. “You have nothing to worry about. I think you’re sexy as hell pregnant with our daughter. Besides, it’s you I’m in love with. I’ll love you no matter what you look like.”
“Even if my chin turns triple?” I ask, batting my eyelashes.
A chuckle. “Even then.”
“Good, because I’m hungry,” I say at the same time my stomach rumbles.
“Come on then, let’s get my woman fed. You know, I can stay home tonight…”
“No, no, you go have fun,” I instantly say.
“Good because they would have given me a lot of shit if I cancelled,” he says, looking amused.
“Is Arrow going out?” I ask as Dex helps me to sit up.
“Yeah he’s coming out.”
“He needs to have some fun,” I say, sliding off the bed. “And I need to eat and study some more.”
He rests his palms on my belly. “Three months to go.”
“Are you excited?” I ask him.
“Excited, nervous, curious, impatient…. I’m a whole lot of different things,” he admits. I look down at his tattooed knuckles on my stomach and smile.
“Time is going so fast,” I say, taking his hand and walking with him out the bedroom.
“I know.”
We sit down at the table and have dinner, then I study as Dex gets ready to go out. I try not to sulk but I find myself doing just that. Rake walks out of his room first wearing jeans and a long sleeve shirt, folded up to his elbows. His leather cut is worn over it, and his blond hair is damp from the shower. His green eyes are dancing with excitement.
“Why the hell are you so excited about tonight?” I ask him, raising a dark brow.
He plays with his lip ring. “One of the girls at Toxic—she’s a fuckin’ angel. Blonde. Huge ass tits.” He cups his hands in front of his pecs, mimicking the universal gesture for huge boobs. “I wanna bring her home.”
“To your torture chamber?”
He grins. “Don’t diss it till you try it.”
Dex walks out next, and my breath catches. Dark jeans, tight black shirt stretched across his muscles. I lick my bottom lip as I take in his appearance.
“Stop looking at me like that or I’m staying my ass home,” he growls. He checks his pockets for his cigarettes and wallet. Rake pulls out a bottle and starts pouring himself a drink.
“If you’re drinking you better be going in a taxi,” I tell him.
“It’s just one drink. I’m not rocking up in a fuckin’ maxi taxi,” he says, scowling. I laugh at his expression. Tracker walks in, his sleeves on showcase tonight with a white t-shirt.