He takes Clover from me, holding her in his large arms. “She’s so tiny. Is she meant to be this small?”
“She’s very healthy,” I tell him. “Everything is as it should be, don’t worry.”
I roll my eyes as he fiddles with the Wind Dragons baby beanie he had made for her. “Everyone wants to come in and see her, is that okay? Or do you want to wait?”
“Send them in, I don’t mind,” I reply, covering my breasts with the sheet. In fact, I can’t wait to show her off. How did I create something so perfect?
Cindy, Allie, and Jess rush in first while Tracker, Rake, Jim, Trace, and Vinnie trail in behind. The women ooh and ahh, and the men stare at her like they have no idea what they are meant to do with her.
“You did well, baby mama,” Tracker says. I notice him and Allie holding hands.
“Did you expect otherwise?” I ask with a raised brow.
He grins and shakes his head. “I think we know not to underestimate you.”
Dex gently drags a tattooed finger down Clover’s rosy cheek. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
Tracker puts his hand on Dex’s shoulder. “We have your back, brother, always.”
Rake puts his hand on his other shoulder. “You think anyone’s going to want to touch the Wind Dragons’ princess?”
I roll my eyes at their protectiveness. “Give the girl some room to breathe.”
Clover starts to cry, and Dex starts fussing over her. We all watch with wide eyes as he gently rocks her back to sleep.
“I’ve got this,” he grins smugly. Jim looks amused, wrapping his arms around Cindy and watching on.
Dex’s eyes find mine. “I’ve got this,” he repeats, kissing Clover on her forehead.
*****
We have six weeks of bliss before Dex has to go to court. Just as I had guessed, he got six months behind bars.
Six. Fucking. Months.
The day before he had to leave, I cried. I cried so much that Dex begged me to stop.
“Don’t cry Faye, I need to know that you’re going to be okay or I’m gonna go fuckin’ crazy in there,” he says. He slides down onto his knees before me. “I need you to be strong for me.”
We make love frantically, then slow and gentle.
In the morning before I wake up—he’s gone.
That day itself, I move back into the clubhouse. No way am I staying alone in that house for half a year. I’d drive myself crazy in no time. Clover helps to make time go quicker than I thought. I miss Dex every day, but Clover is my shining light.
She gets me through the darkness.
“She’s looking more like you every day,” Tracker muses, staring down at Clover.
I look down at her angelic face. “Do you think so?”
He peers down at her again and bobs his head. “Yeah, she’s your mini me.”
We’re silent for a few seconds.
“How are you holding up?” he asks in a low tone.
I exhale heavily and lean back on the couch. “I’m okay because I have to be, you know?”
“You’re fuckin’—” He looks down at Clover and then starts over. “You’re strong, you know that? Who would have thought that you—walking into the clubhouse with no clue, wearing cupcake pajamas and staring at us all wide-eyed like you had no idea what to do with us…”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You turned out to be the best thing to happen to Dex, and you’re more than old lady material. You don’t just take care of Dex…”
“Hey love the man love the club, right?” I add when Tracker trails off. I yawn, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth.
Tracker grins. “Let Allie and me watch Clover. You get some sleep.”
“Okay, if you two don’t mind,” I say, the exhaustion of being up all night with Clover catching up to me.
“Just ‘cuz Dex isn’t here—we’re gonna look after you,” Tracker says softly, running his hands through his blond hair.
“I know,” I reply. “So are you and Allie together?”
He tilts his head to the side. “I guess we are, yes.”
“Good, you deserve to be happy,” I tell him, meaning every word.
“For the record, we could have been fuckin’ amazing together,” he says, stretching his arms above his head lazily.
I can’t stop the blush that makes an appearance. “Is that right? I’ve heard about your piercing. You know…”
“No I don’t, why don’t you tell me?” he replies, looking amused.
“Your piercing,” I repeat, pointing down to his crotch.
“Oh this,” he says, unbuttoning his jeans. “Do you want to see?”
I elbow him in the ribs, laughing. “I’m curious but not that curious. Dex would kill you.”
He smiles. “Good to hear you laugh again.”
I watch as he gently takes my daughter from my arms, then kisses the top of my head. “Sleep. Clover will be fine.”
“Thanks Tracker,” I mumble, my eyes already closing.
My last thought is of Dex before I fall asleep.
Chapter Thirty
Dex has been gone for four months when Jim dies from lung cancer.
Everyone is devastated.
I sit by the hospital bed and watch as Cindy cries. The woman who didn’t even cry on that night when Mary died right before her, is bawling her eyes out. Something about seeing such a strong woman shatter makes it hard for me to try and stay strong.
I cry silently, holding Clover close to my chest.
The men stand around Cindy, helping her up and leading her out of the room. She wails, screaming Jim’s name. We all leave the hospital and go back to the clubhouse. The place is unusually quiet, and extremely depressing. The men drink.
And then drink some more.
Jim’s good friend Jack Kane and his son Xander come to help us with the funeral. Apparently Jack was once a member of the club, and I guess officially, still is one.
Since the new President of Wind Dragons is still behind bars, Trace takes over things until Dex gets back. The club gets three new prospects, two I like but the other—not so much. I guess time will tell how it all turns out with each of them.
I walk up to Trace and refill his drink. He gives me a chin lift in thanks. Allie is sitting on Tracker’s lap, whispering in his ear, so I don’t go and intrude. Instead I walk up to Rake, showing him the bottle of scotch. He lifts his glass up for me to pour.
“How are you holding up?” I ask him so only we can hear.
He gulps his drink, replying with a question of his own. “Where’s Clover?”
“She’s asleep,” I tell him, pointing to the baby monitor sticking out of my jean pocket.
He nods his head, then stands up. “I need a woman and some more alcohol.”
“I can provide the scotch, but unfortunately, I’m not a pimp.”
That earns me a small smile. He cups my face and kisses me on the forehead. “Why don’t you and Clover go home for a few days? This place isn’t going to be any fun to be around.”
I feel a little hurt, but I realize he’s right. “That’s probably a good idea.”
I stay at home for a week.
Each day they send someone to check on me. It’s not necessary but kind of nice too.
When I return, the place is a mess and there are women sleeping out in the open.
“Did they throw a party?” I ask Allie when I see her in the kitchen.
She nods. “It’s been like this since you left. Few members from other chapters are here too, so it’s not safe to just walk around here anymore.”
Tracker walks into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. He smiles when he sees me, “You’re back”
“Yeah but I’m not staying,” I reply, eying the place with distaste.
Tracker looks around and grimaces. “Place has kind of gone to hell.”
“You think?” I reply dryly. Clover stirs in my arms.
“Can I hold her?” Allie asks.
I nod my head and gently put her in Allie’s arms. “I’m gonna try and clean this place up a bit.”
I get a large garbage bag and start picking up all the rubbish. I’m throwing bottles into the recycling bin when a hear steps behind me. I quickly turn and come face to face with the man from the first party I saw. The one Dex spoke to and wanted to ‘share’ me. My pulse races as fear shoots through my system. There’s something not right about this man.