They were gone.
Vanished.
The rug hung heavy and wet over the open section of the crate.
Candleglow flickered and pulsed across the wooden walls.
The air smelled of blueberry-scented wax.
Sammy chugged a couple of long swallows of wine directly from the mouth of the jug, instead of pouring it first into the dirty jelly jar that he had been using. A little of it spilled over his whisker-stubbled chin, but he didn’t care.
He was eager to remain numb, detached. If he had been in touch with his fear during the past few minutes, he would no doubt have peed his pants.
He felt it was also important to remain detached in order to think less emotionally about what the ratman had said. Previously, the creature had spoken little and had never revealed anything of its own motivations or intentions. Now it was spouting all this babble about thinning the herd, judgment, godhood.
It was valuable to know the ratman’s mind was filled with the same crazy stuff that had cluttered up the head of old Mike, stabber of moviegoers. Regardless of his ability to appear out of nowhere and disappear into thin air, in spite of his inhuman eyes and ability to change shapes, all of that god blather made him seem hardly more special than any of the countless heirs of Charles Manson and Richard Ramirez who roamed the world, heeding inner voices, killing for pleasure, and keeping refrigerators filled with the severed heads of their victims. If in some fundamental way he was like the other psychos out there, then even with his special talents he was as vulnerable as they were.
Though functioning in a wine fog, Sammy could see that this new insight might be a useful survival tool. The problem was, he had never been good at survival.
Thinking about the ratman made his head hurt. Hell, the mere prospect of surviving gave him a migraine. Who wanted to survive? And why? Death would only come later if not sooner. Each survival was merely a short-term triumph. In the end, oblivion for everyone. And in the meantime, nothing but pain. To Sammy, it seemed that the only terrible thing about the ratman was not that he killed people but that he apparently liked to make them suffer first, cranked up the terror, poured on the pain, did not remove his victims from this world with kindly despatch.
Sammy tipped the jug and poured wine into the jelly jar that was on the floor, braced between his splayed legs. He raised the glass to his lips. In the glimmering ruby liquid, he sought a glimmerless, peaceful, perfect darkness.
9
Mickey Chan was sitting alone in a back booth, concentrating on his soup.
Connie saw him as soon as she pushed through the front door of the small Chinese restaurant in Newport Beach, and she made her way toward him between black-lacquered chairs and tables with silver-gray tablecloths. A red and gold painted dragon coiled across the ceiling, serpentined around the light fixtures.
If Mickey saw her coming, he pretended to be unaware. He sucked soup from the spoon, then spooned up more, never taking his gaze off the contents of his bowl.
He was small but sinewy, in his late forties, and wore his hair closely cropped. His skin was the shade of antique parchment.
Although he allowed his Caucasian clients to think that he was Chinese, he was actually a Vietnamese refugee who had fled to the States after the fall of Saigon. Rumor had it, he’d been a Saigon homicide detective or an officer in the South Vietnamese Internal Security Agency, which was probably true.
Some said that he’d had a reputation as a real terror in the interrogation room, a man who would resort to any tool or technique to break the will of a suspected criminal or Communist, but Connie doubted those stories. She liked Mickey. He was tough, but he had about him the air of a man who had known great loss and was capable of profound compassion.
As she reached his table, he spoke to her without shifting his attention from the soup: “Good evening, Connie.”
She slid into the other side of the booth. “You’re fixated on that bowl as if the meaning of life is in it.”
“It is,” he said, still spooning.
“It is? Looks like soup to me.”
“The meaning of life can be found in a bowl of soup. Soup always begins with a broth of some kind, which is like the liquid flow of days that makes up our lives.”
“Broth?”
“Sometimes in the broth are noodles, sometimes vegetables, bits of egg white, slivers of chicken or shrimp, mushrooms, perhaps rice.”
Because Mickey would not look at her, Connie found herself staring across the table at his soup almost as intensely as he was.
He said, “Sometimes it is hot, sometimes cool. Sometimes it is meant to be cool, and then it is good even if there’s no slightest warmth in it. But if it’s not meant to be cool, then it will taste bitter, or curdle in the stomach, or both.”
His strong but gentle voice had a hypnotic effect. Enthralled, Connie stared at the placid surface of the soup, oblivious now to everyone else in the restaurant.
“Consider. Before the soup is eaten,” Mickey said, “it has value and purpose. After it is eaten, it is valueless to everyone except to whoever has consumed it. And in fulfilling its purpose, it ceases to exist. Left behind will be only the empty bowl. Which can symbolize either want and need — or the pleasant expectation of other soups to come.”
She waited for him to continue, and only shifted her gaze from his soup when she realized that he was now staring at her. She met his eyes and said, “That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“The meaning of life?”
“All of it.”
She frowned. “I don’t get it.”
He shrugged. “Me neither. I make up this crap as I go along.”
She blinked at him. “You what?”
Grinning, Mickey said, “Well, it’s sort of expected of a Chinese private detective, you see. Pithy sayings, impenetrable philosophical observations, inscrutable proverbs.”
He was not Chinese, nor was his real name Mickey Chan. When he arrived in the US and decided to put his police background to use by becoming a private detective, he had felt that Vietnamese names were too exotic to inspire confidence and too difficult for Westerners to pronounce. And he’d known he couldn’t make a good living solely from clients of Vietnamese heritage. Two of his favorite American things were Mickey Mouse cartoons and Charlie Chan movies, and it made sense to him to have his name legally changed. Because of Disney and Rooney and Mantle and Spillane, Americans liked people named Mickey; and thanks to a lot of old movies, the name Chan was subconsciously associated with investigative genius. Evidently, Mickey had known what he was doing, because he had built a thriving business with a sterling reputation, and now had ten employees.
“You suckered me,” she said, indicating the soup.
“You’re not the first.”
Amused, she said, “If I could pull the right strings, I’d have the courts change your name to Charlie Mouse. See how that works.”
“I’m glad you can still smile,” Mickey said.
A beautiful young waitress with jet-black hair and almond eyes appeared at the table and asked if Connie would like to order dinner.
“Just a bottle of Tsingtao, please,” Connie said. And to Mickey: “I don’t feel much like smiling, if you want to know the truth. You sure as hell ruined my day with that call this morning.”
“Ruined your day? Me?”