The headache was interfering with his thinking. He got to his knees, swaying, and sought his clothes. He Read them, finally, neatly hung on one of the chairs, his sandals under it. Aradia's attempts to restore order made his heart ache.
As he struggled to his feet, the world tilted and the pain in his head redoubled. Fighting to suppress a moan, he winced in agony when the candles burst into flame.
"Lenardo."
Helplessly, he turned to face Aradia. "Don't leave," she whispered.
"How can you-" he began, but the effort of talking set the room spinning, and he staggered, putting both bands to his head as the jar of regaining his balance sent another lance through his skull.
"You're in pain," Aradia gasped, and was at his side, one cool hand on his forehead. The pain dissolved; the world oriented itself, and he stared in astonishment into her anxious eyes.
"How can you stand to touch me?" he asked.
She looked away, suddenly shy. "I wanted it, too," she said. "I didn't know it would be like that."
She seemed so forlorn that he wanted to comfort her, started to reach for her, and pulled back-but she turned into his arms, clinging to him.
"I'm sorry," he murmured helplessly. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Not that way. "I'll never do it again."
At the disgust in his tone, she backed off. "Am I repellent to you now?"
He closed his eyes, trying to Read some sense in her attitude, but all he got was a haze of shame, anxiety, and self-recrimination.
"Aradia-" If he could only touch her mind, assure her that his loathing was toward himself. But he could not. So he held out his hands, not reaching for her, just available. "Whatever you want."
What she wanted was to sleep in his arms, it seemed. He didn't understand, but he was grateful. As he lay awake long after Aradia, he realized that he didn't want to leave her. Perhaps not ever.
The next morning, having faced down the guards when he left Aradia's pavilion, Lenardo prepared to keep his appointment with Julia and discovered that his powers had indeed deteriorated. He could not leave his body; it was as if the lead weight of his animal nature held his spirit prisoner.
Fast and meditation, he told himself. You cannot have regressed permanently. Those Readers who were judged capable of trying for the two highest ranks when they took their tests at eighteen were given instruction in leaving the body. Anyone who could not do it by the time he was twenty was judged a failure.
And had I failed this miserably at that time, they would have married me off, and what I did last night I would have done to some poor female Reader-but worse, because I'd have assaulted her mind as well as her body.
He cringed from that line of thought. Julia was waiting. He had to calm himself and try to reach her. He had Read farther than to Wulfston's castle without leaving his body before. But that was indeed before.
He knew where Wulfston was building his castle-actually expanding one of Drakonius' old fortifications into a dwelling-but he had never been there or Read it before. By the time he found it, his relief was so intense that Julia caught it.
//You're late, Father. What's wrong? Are you ill?// //Yes-no-not exactly. It's nothing for you to worry about, Julia.// //I'm coming home!//
//No!// He forced himself to be calm, feeling as if he were the eight-year-old.
Julia was already up and running out of her room and down the hall to pound on Wulfston's door and then burst in to declare, "Lord Wulfston, I've got to go home! It's Father!" "What?" "He's sick." //No. No, Julia.//
Wulfston was saying, "Hasn't he contacted you?" "Yes. He's… here. In my head, I mean." Wulfston squatted down so that he could look directly into Julia's eyes. "Lenardo, can you have Julia tell me what's wrong? We can ride today if you need us."
//Tell Lord Wulfston -you got scared, Julia. There's nothing wrong at all.//
When Julia remained silent, Wulfston demanded, "What does he say?"
"He says there's nothing wrong. I don't believe it." Wulfston studied the girl's face. "Julia, if you don't like it here and want to go home, just tell me. Don't make up stories about your father being ill." //Tell him I am ill… in a way. It's nothing serious.// "Father says he is ill, but it's nothing serious," Julia relayed. "He says his Reading powers are-im-paired?-but they'll come back. You remember how his powers were impaired"-this time she was certain she had the word- "when he was so sick at Castle Nerius. It's not nearly that bad, he'll be fine, and he… he wants me to stay here." Then she added her own interpretation. "I think he's scared about me."
"Well, you know, Julia," said Wulfston, "some illnesses are much more serious for children than for adults. It's probably something he doesn't want you to catch. Now, don't you worry. Aradia's there to heal Lenardo."
//That's right,// Lenardo told her. //Tell Wulfston that Aradia has already helped me.//
When Julia relayed the message, Wulfston said, "There, you see? The healing has used up Lenardo's strength. It's nothing to worry about."
Between them, Lenardo and Wulfston calmed Julia, and she settled down to her lesson. However, Lenardo found it difficult to maintain contact over that distance and warned JuMa that when Wulfston took her on the promised excursion to the sea, she was not to worry if he could not reach her there. But surely, he told himself, my abilities will improve soon.
If only he could take two or three days to fast and meditate. But there was work to be done, and he still had a guest. When he emerged from his lesson with Julia, he fully expected a polite message saying that Aradia was leaving. But there was none, and as he crossed the forum on his way to the day's work site, there was no sign of activity about the white pavilion.
He passed people busily rebuilding, who smiled and waved to him as they might on any other day. If the news had spread that the Lord of Zendi had spent the night in Aradia's pavilion, he could not Read that anyone suspected what had happened there. He caught some curiosity about what a Lord Reader and a Lady Adept might be plotting together and slowly realized that those endowed with the full range of powers were not thought to have the same temptations of the flesh as ordinary people. How disillusioned they would be if they knew!
Lenardo had started his rebuilding program from the forum outward. As the city now held approximately the number of people it was designed for, Lenardo hoped to put everything back in order and then expand the facilities as the population increased. Trade would grow again, he knew. People with talent and business skill would sort themselves out from the rest. The excellent Aventine road would keep Zendi flourishing, and Lenardo foresaw a time when it would outshine its heyday as a prime Aventine trade city.
The sewer system under the forum had been cleared and repaired during Lenardo's first month in Zendi, the ditch closed and paved over all along the main market way to Northgate. Water no longer flowed from the bathhouse pipe but bubbled merrily from the forum fountain and two others some distance away. Lenardo had been amused to discover that bringing the long-dry fountains to life was regarded as an act worthy of the most powerful Adept.
Today, work continued along another main street branching out from the forum. Yesterday, Lenardo had Read a section of broken pipe, and when he joined the workmen this morning, he found them just laying the cobbles back over the completed repair. He Read the new pipe neatly joined to the old and said, "Good job. We'll have this whole section finished before winter sets in."
The workmen picked up their tools and followed Lenardo as he Read the water and sewer pipes beneath the street. "The water pipes are sound now all the way to the fountain, but the sewer pipe is clogged solid. Vona?"