But that was not to be. Slowly he turned around. Riverwind stood next to Goldmoon, his face dark and brooding as he braced himself between ceiling and deck. Tika bit her lip, tears sliding down her cheeks. Tanis stayed by the door, his back against it, staring at his friends mutely. For long moments, no one said a word. All that could be heard was the storm, the waves crashing onto the deck. Water trickled down on them. They were wet and cold and shaking with fear and sorrow and shock.
“I—I’m sorry,” Tanis began, licking his salt-coated lips. His throat hurt, he could barely speak. “I—I wanted to tell you—”
“So that’s where you were these four days,” Caramon said in a soft, low voice. “With our sister. Our sister, the Dragon Highlord!”
Tanis hung his head. The ship listed beneath his feet, sending him staggering into Maquesta’s desk, which was bolted to the floor. He caught himself and slowly pushed himself back to face them. The half-elf had endured much pain in his life—pain of prejudice, pain of loss, pain of knives, arrows, swords. But he did not think he could endure this pain. The look of betrayal in their eyes ran straight through his soul.
“Please, you must believe me...” What a stupid thing to say! he thought savagely. Why should they believe me! I’ve done nothing but lie to them ever since I returned. “All right,” he began again, “I know you don’t have any reason to believe me, but at least listen to me! I was walking through Flotsam when an elf attacked me. Seeing me in this get-up"—Tanis gestured at his dragonarmor—“he thought I was a dragon officer. Kitiara saved my life, then she recognized me. She thought I had joined the dragonarmy! What could I say? She"—Tanis swallowed and wiped his hand across his face—“she took me back to the inn and—and—” He choked, unable to continue.
“And you spent four days and nights in the loving embrace of a Dragon Highlord!” Caramon said, his voice rising in fury. Lurching to his feet, he stabbed an accusing finger at Tanis. “Then after four days, you needed a little rest! So you remembered us and you came calling to make certain we were still waiting for you! And we were! Just like the bunch of trusting lame-brains—”
“All right, so I was with Kitiara!” Tanis shouted, suddenly angry. “Yes, I loved her! I don’t expect you to understand—any of you! But I never betrayed you! I swear by the gods! When she left for Solamnia, it was the first chance I had to escape and I took it. A draconian followed me, apparently under Kit’s orders. I may be a fool. But I’m not a traitor!”
“Pah!” Raistlin spit on the floor.
“Listen, mage!” Tanis snarled. “If I had betrayed you, why was she so shocked to see you two—her brothers! If I had betrayed you, why didn’t I just send a few draconians to the inn to pick you up? I could have, any time. I could have sent them to pick up Berem, too. He’s the one she wants. He’s the one the draconians are searching for in Flotsam! I knew he was on this ship. Kitiara offered me the rulership of Krynn if I’d tell her. That’s how important he is. All I would’ve had to do was lead Kit to him and the Queen of Darkness herself would have rewarded me!”
“Don’t tell us you didn’t consider it!” Raistlin hissed.
Tanis opened his mouth, then fell silent. He knew his guilt was as plain on his face as the beard no true elf could grow. He choked, then put his hand over his eyes to block out their faces. “I-I loved her,” he said brokenly. “All these years. I refused to see what she was. And even when I knew—I couldn’t help myself. You love"—his eyes went to Riverwind—“and you"—turning to Caramon. The boat pitched again. Tanis gripped the side of the desk as he felt the deck cant away beneath his feet. “What would you have done? For five years, she’s been in my dreams!” He stopped. They were quiet. Caramon’s face was unusually thoughtful. Riverwind’s eyes were on Goldmoon.
“When she was gone,” Tanis continued, his voice soft and filled with pain. “I lay in her bed and I hated myself. You may hate me now, but you cannot hate me as much as I loathe and despise what I have become! I thought of Laurana and—”
Tanis fell silent, raising his head. Even as he talked, he had become aware of the motion of the ship changing. The rest glanced around, too. It did not take an experienced seaman to notice that they were no longer pitching around wildly. Now they were running in a smooth forward motion, a motion somehow more ominous because it was so unnatural. Before anyone could wonder what it meant, a crashing knock nearly split the cabin door.
“Maquesta she say get up here!” shouted Koraf hoarsely.
Tanis cast one swift glance around at his friends. Riverwind’s face was dark; his eyes met Tanis’s and held them, but there was no light in them. The Plainsman had long distrusted all who were not human. Only after weeks of danger faced together had he come to love and trust Tanis as a brother. Had all that been shattered? Tanis looked at him steadily. Riverwind lowered his gaze and, without a word, started to walk past Tanis, then he stopped.
“You are right, my friend,” he said, glancing at Goldmoon who was rising to her feet. “I have loved.” Without another word, he turned abruptly and went up on deck.
Goldmoon gazed mutely as Tanis as she followed her husband, and he saw compassion and understanding in that silent look. He wished he understood, that he could be so forgiving.
Caramon hesitated, then walked past him without speaking or looking at him. Raistlin followed silently, his head turning, keeping his golden eyes on Tanis every step of the way. Was there a hint of glee in those golden eyes? Long mistrusted by the others, was Raistlin happy to have company in ignominy at last? The half-elf had no idea what the mage might be thinking. Then Tika went past him, giving him a gentle pat on the arm. She knew what it was to love. . ..
Tanis stood a moment alone in the cabin, lost in his own darkness. Then, with a sigh, he followed his friends.
As soon as he set foot on the deck, Tanis realized what had happened. The others were staring over the side, their faces pale and strained. Maquesta paced the foredeck, shaking her head and swearing fluently in her own language.
Hearing Tanis approach, she looked up, hatred in her black flashing eyes.
“You have destroyed us,” she said venomously. “You and the god-cursed helmsman!”
Maquesta’s words seemed redundant, a repetition of words resounding in his own mind. Tanis began to wonder if she had even spoken, or if it was himself he was hearing.
“We are caught in the maelstrom.”
4
“My brother...”
The Perechon hurtled forward, skimming along on top of the water as lightly as a bird, but it was a bird with its wings clipped, riding the swirling tide of a watery cyclone into a blood-red darkness. The terrible force of the vortex pulled the seawaters smooth, until they looked like painted glass, as a hollow, eternal roar swelled from the black depths. Even the storm clouds circled endlessly above it, as if all nature were caught in the maelstrom, hurtling to its own destruction. Tanis gripped the rail with hands that ached from the tension. Staring into the dark heart of the whirlpool, he felt no fear, no terror—only a strange numb sensation. It didn’t matter anymore. Death would be swift and welcome.
Everyone on board the doomed ship stood silently, their eyes wide with the horror of what they saw. They were still some distance from the center; the whirlpool was miles and miles in diameter. Smoothly and swiftly, the water flowed. Above them and around them the winds still howled, the rain still beat upon their faces. But it didn’t matter. They didn’t notice it anymore. All they saw was that they were being carried relentlessly into the center of the darkness.
This fearsome sight was enough to wake Berem from his lethargy. After the first shock, Maquesta began shouting frantic orders. Dazedly, the men carried them out, but their efforts were useless. Sails rigged against the whirling wind tore apart; ropes snapped, flinging men screaming into the water. Try as he might, Berem could not turn the ship or break it free of the water’s fearsome grip. Koraf added his strength to the handling of the wheel, but they might as well have been trying to stop the world from revolving.