‘It’ll fall on me.’
‘No... it won’t.’ I swallowed. ‘Turn over, Cinders. It’s easier on your back.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Your mother and father are here.’
‘There’s a man shouting...’
‘He’s stopped now,’ I said. ‘Come on, darling, everything’s fine. Hold my hand.’
I touched her hand with mine and she grabbed it tightly.
‘Turn over,’ I said.
She turned slowly onto her back and looked upwards to the steel struts.
‘It’s pretty dirty under here,’ I said prosaically. ‘Keep your head down or you’ll make your hair filthy. Now, our toes are pointing to where your parents are, so just shunt along beside me and we’ll be out in no time.’
I began to wriggle out, and she wriggled, sobbing, beside me.
It was after all only a few feet. It can’t have seemed much to the people outside.
When we were out I knelt beside her, brushing dirt from her clothes and her hair. She clung to me. Her little face, close to mine, was so like the pictures of myself at her age. The tenderness I felt for her was devastating.
Her gaze slid beyond me to where her parents stood. She let go of me and ran to them. Ran to Hugo.
‘Daddy!’ she said, hugging him.
He put protective arms around her and glared at me with the green eyes.
I said nothing. I stood up: brushed some grit off myself; waited.
Susan put one arm round Hugo’s waist and with the other enclosed Cinders; the three of them a family.
Hugo brusquely turned them away with him towards their car, looking fiercely over his shoulder. He shouldn’t fear me, I thought. Perhaps in time he wouldn’t. I would never upset that child.
I was aware that Guggenheim and Aziz were slithering under the horsebox. Guggenheim scrambled out with visions of immortality in his eyes, cuddling the white plastic carrier as if it contained the Holy Grail.
‘The rabbit’s here,’ he said joyfully, ‘and it’s got ticks!’
‘Great.’
Nina came to stand beside me. I put my arm round her shoulders. It felt right there. Eight and a half years didn’t matter.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Mm.’
We watched the Palmerstones’ car drive away.
‘Freddie...?’ Nina murmured tentatively, ‘that little girl... when your heads were together, she looked... almost...’
‘Don’t say it,’ I said.