He placed his hand on her stomach. “You were the one to teach me the meaning of love. Love is selfless, caring, but it also takes courage. I was such a coward when I first met you.” He took a deep breath and calmness descended. “Will you marry me and live by my side and if God sees fit give me a son.”
A tear splashed his hand. “Yes. Oh, yes.”
And just like that his fear melted away. The feel of her hands in his and the love shining from her eyes made everything seem conceivable. He would have faith.
Without further words he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed. As he lowered them both to the sheets, and began to remove her attire, his heart sang with hope. This time he would take his time savoring the fact she was his to protect and love as God saw fit.
EPILOGUE
Monreith House, Scotland three years later
THE FIRE in the grate of the drawing room in Monreith House burned bright as it neared midnight, making the room stifling hot, yet the ice in his gut would not melt. It had been over twenty hours since Flora began to give birth.
He had given up pacing the room hours ago, and now he simply sat staring out the window praying, even the whisky was forgotten.
Angus and Stuart had begged him to leave with them to the local tavern while Flora gave birth, but he could not leave her now. He wasn’t there for Connie and look how that ended. He had this foolish hope that if he stayed everything would be all right.
Earlier when he’d visited her in her bedchamber, Flora too had tried to get him to leave.
“Go with Angus. I will be perfectly fine. Doctor Mallard and the midwife are here, and so are Mary and Tessa. They won’t let anything happen to me.”
“I’m not leaving.”
Mary began pushing Dougray out of Flora’s birthing chamber. “You’ll only get in the way. I promise to come and get you when your son or daughter arrives.”
Tessa sighed and tried to lighten the gravity of the situation. “Men. They make such a fuss.”
Flora smiled then grimaced as a contraction gripped her. Finally she said to her friends, “Dougray has to push his fears aside and be strong for those who need him—myself included.” She spoke quietly to him. “I need you to be strong. I can’t have you falling to pieces now. So please, my love, go. I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”
“I am not falling to pieces, but Christ I feel very entitled to worry about my wife,” he growled. “I do love you.”
Flora laughed and Tessa said, “Society expects men to be impervious to pain, or emotion. Yet, they are only human. I’ve seen your brother on his knees beside my bed begging God to keep me, and the baby, safe. He’s cried in my arms wishing he could birth our babes himself.”
“Right at this moment I wish Dougray could,” Flora hissed through the pain of another contraction. “So, trust me when I say it’s time to leave. Go and be with Angus and Stuart. Drink whisky and think up names for our child.”
So he had done as he was told, but every hour he waited his nausea rose. The uselessness he felt at this moment unmanned him. He hated the lack of control over his destiny and the idea of leaving her safety to fate scared him witless. Fate had never been anything but a bastard to him.
“I don’t know how you two lived through your wives giving birth more than once.”
Stuart cleared his throat and sank into the chair opposite Dougray. “The birth is but a moment in time.” Stuart looked at Connor. The young man was sitting next to his father, his face also showing the strain of the wait. Connor loved Flora as if she were his mother. “Look at the joy Connor has brought to your life. Children are our destiny, our future, and they carry our hopes and dreams. Women instinctively know this. Why else would they go through the pain and danger more than once?”
“Aye, they are far the braver and stronger of the sexes,” Angus added on another gulp of whisky.
Dougray smiled at Connor. “I thank your mother every day in my prayers for giving you to me. She would be so proud of the man you’ve become.”
He beamed at his father and reached out and took his hand. “Flora is the strongest woman I know, father. She will be fine. She loves us too much to leave us.”
“From you mouth to God’s ears,” he replied. “I’d just started to believe that I was safe from the possibility of losing her in childbirth when she fell with child. Both of us had given up. After two years she had accepted she was barren and some of her happiness died. I just don’t want God to punish me because my first thought when she told me she was with child, was one of joy. It made her so happy. How could I deny her this? I selfishly rejoiced in the idea of a child too. To have a child with her… To give her what she wanted most is truly a gift from God after all this time. I keep thinking he will punish me for wanting this when it puts her at risk.”
Just then they heard footsteps coming down the corridor and the four men rose to their feet. You could cut the tension in the air with a highland sword. The door opened and a tired Mary stood there with a huge grin on her face. “Flora wants to know if you’ll come and meet”-
Mary didn’t even get to finish her sentence before Dougray raced from the room his heart thundering in his ears. He took the stairs two at a time. Please let her be all right. He slowed when he got to the door of Flora’s bedchamber. It was quiet inside.
On one last silent prayer he lifted the latch and entered the room. Flora lay propped up on the pillows, her eyes closed but a huge smile was on her lips. She looked pale and exhaustion marred her beautiful face. He began to walk quietly to her bedside but she heard him because her eyelids flickered open.
“Aren’t they beautiful,” and she pointed behind him. He slowly turned and saw Tessa with a sleeping bundle in her arms, and beside her the midwife with another bundle. He did a double take.
“We have twins, my darling. A boy and a girl. No wonder I was the size of a barn. I had two of your babes inside me. The next time, I’m only having one, this was more painful and exhausting than I expected.”
He swung to look at her with his mouth open. “Two babes. I have two more children.” His eyes filled with tears of joy and gratitude. “And you are well?”
Doctor Mallard came forward. “Well done, Your Grace. Your wife is as healthy as one of your thoroughbred racehorses and she did a marvelous job. Being twins, the babes weren’t as big as I was expecting. The birthing went well.”
“I resent being compared to a horse,” his wife scolded. “But I did a marvelous job if I say so myself.”
Then Tessa approached and placed a squirming bundle in his arms. “Meet your bonny son.”
This was the first time he’d held a newborn. Connor had been over one-year-old when he finally found him near York. A local blacksmith, whose wife could not have children, had raised Connor. Dougray helped the husband and wife find another orphan to raise because they had been so upset to lose Connor, and he wanted to thank them for looking after his son so well.
Dougray stared at his newborn son with awe and pride. A son. He had an heir! Never had he let himself dream of this day. He could not believe how tiny the babe was. He tenderly took his son’s little hand in his and the babe gripped his thumb, his tiny fingers barely able to wrap around it. The boy opened his eyes and looked at him. He had Flora’s eyes. A bolt of pure love shot him in the heart.
He looked at his exhausted wife. “I should have learned by now that you are always right, my love. This joy I feel, this love… I am so happy I can barely think. This is worth the fear and angst.”
“Good, so you won’t be such a worry wart when I get with child again. Because seeing these two, I want a dozen more. Just give me another year to recover,” she joked.