Excellent.
Time to escape.
He could talk to Meg later, when she wasn’t surrounded by slavering dogs.
Before anyone could intercept him, he slipped out of the salon and made his way to the library, and the waiting decanter of whisky.
He’d definitely earned a drink.
THE LAST THING MEG EXPECTED, after her performance, was to be surrounded by all the guests and be gushed over as she was. It took quite some time to thank them all. Long enough for her to recover from her embarrassment at the fuss they made. When it was over, she was exceedingly warm, thirsty, and tired. Certainly ready to escape, although Hisdick, Mattingly, and St. Clare seemed inclined to follow her wherever she went.
Fortunately, there was one place they could not follow, so she headed to the water closet. She stayed there for a long time, until she was certain they were gone.
When she peeped out to find herself alone, she breathed a sigh of relief and vowed never to sing before a crowd again.
She knew that after the musicale, a tour of the conservatory was planned, so she didn’t head there. Rather she sneaked off to her favorite room in the house, the library.
It was quiet and dark and cool. Exactly what she needed.
Despite the business of the morning and the melee of the musicale, she’d been beset with one single thought.
That kiss from Jonathan.
It had dominated her mind since last night, but she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Jonathan wasn’t the kind of man to run around kissing girls all higgledy-piggledy. In fact, since Tessa, she doubted he’d even looked at another woman. Who would? Tessa had been a diamond of the first water.
But he had kissed her.
It had been the single most thrilling moment of her life.
And the most confusing.
She made her way through the darkened room to the window seat, where she loved to sit and read and, occasionally, look out at the drifts of snow covering the garden. She wondered what the garden might look like in spring, but she knew she would probably never find out. She certainly would never come to Sutton House again. At least, not after Jonathan married.
The thought depressed her.
“That is a fierce frown.”
His voice, in a dark rumble from the king’s chair by the fire, surprised her.
“Jonathan!” She huffed a laugh. “I was just thinking of you.”
Oh dear. Thank heavens he couldn’t see her flush in the shadows.
“Were you?” He stood and made his way over, then sat beside her, which was hardly wise. The window seat was not all that generous. As it was, his thigh touched hers; the propinquity scorched her and she edged away, but he, oblivious followed. “I was just thinking of you.”
His voice was playful and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“What were you thinking about?” Her performance, probably. “Did you like the aria?”
“I loved the aria. It’s my favorite, you know.”
“I didn’t know.” How could she? They’d never discussed the opera.
“Well, it is. And I adored the song you and the girls sang.”
“They are very talented.”
“Like their father, no doubt.” His smile was crooked.
“They sang it for Tessa.”
When she spoke her friend’s name, the mood shifted. It went from playful to sober. “I’m sure she appreciated it. But no. Those were not the things I was thinking of.”
He took her hand. His was warm. His gaze made her tremble.
“What-what were you thinking about?”
“How lovely you are.”
Her breath caught. She brushed back her hair. Swallowed. “I… Thank you.”
“All my friends are besotted, you know.”
“Are they?” She had to smile at that. “They’ve been following me like hungry pups.”
“I imagine they have been. You’ve…really won them over. No doubt a proposal is yours, if you so wish it.”
She quirked her head. “From which one?” Not that it mattered. None of them made her heart patter in the slightest.
He laughed. “All of them, I imagine.”
“Oh. Lovely.”
He leaned closer. Her pulse kicked up. “You don’t sound pleased.”
“Is it so wrong that I don’t want to marry any of them?” she asked.
“I shouldn’t think so,” he shrugged. “You will always have a home here, if you wish.”
Ah. “How kind.”
“Not in the least.” He moved closer. “Do you want to know what else I was thinking of?”
She met his gaze, held it. She thought she knew what he was going to say, and it made her breathless. “Yes.” A peep.
“I was thinking about that kiss last night. Do you remember it?”
She couldn’t hold back a laugh. Did she remember it? “Honestly, Jonathan. How terrible do you think my memory is?”
“So you do remember?”
“Of course I do. It was…”
“What?” He came closer still. His breath caressed her cheek.
“It was wonderful,” she whispered. It was all she could manage.
“I thought it was wonderful too. I’d like to do it again.” Somewhere, in his words, was an inherent question, which was ridiculous. In response, she put her hand to his cheek. His day beard scratched her palm and she loved it. So she stroked.
“Ah,” he said, closing his eyes and leaning in to her touch. “Meg. My Meg.”
The words stunned her—my Meg—but she had no time to react, because he touched his lips to hers, ever so tenderly. She allowed him to kiss her like that for a long time, but when he deepened the kiss, her conscience smote her, and not for the first time.
Gently, slowly, she pulled away. “We shouldn’t.”
His brow furrowed. “Why ever not?”
“Someone might see.”
“I don’t care.”
She frowned at him. “You should. You’re supposed to be here looking for a wife—”
His gaze glinted. “I am.”
“A young wife.”
His frown blossomed into a glower. “You’re younger than me.”
“But your mother has invited the cream of the crop, just for you.”
His snort echoed.
“The cream of the crop? Glorianna Pickering won’t speak, Louisa Mountbatten won’t stop, and Cicely Peck…”
Something in his tone made her wild with curiosity. “What about Cicely Peck?”
“She showed up in my chambers last night.”
Meg’s chin dropped. “She didn’t.”
“She did. Fortunately, I wasn’t there. But Rodgers was. He’s now locking my doors.”
“Excellent idea.”
“Rodgers is the best valet in Christendom.”
“Methinks he deserves a bonus.”
Jonathan grinned. “Methinks I agree. But aside from all that, someone else had caught my eye. Dare I say, my heart?”
She stared at him, her mind in a whirl. There were so many thoughts, she didn’t know where to start. Oh, she was delighted that none of the others interested him, certainly. And she was thrilled beyond bearing that he seemed to be courting her. But something had haunted her for years, and haunted her still.
When he took her hesitation for assent, and moved to kiss her again, she stopped him, but it cost her.
She had to look away. “Tessa was my best friend.” It was terrible to feel guilty for wanting to take her place. It was heart-rending in fact.
“And George was mine.” He turned her to face him. Offered a smile. “I like to think of them in heaven together.”
She had to smile at that.
“I think they would approve of us. Being together. They would approve of our marriage.”
The words shocked her. Our marriage. Something she’d never dreamed could come to be.
He continued, unabated. “Tessa would want you to be a mother to our girls. She wouldn’t want it to be anyone else. Don’t you agree?”
She couldn’t say no. Lying was a sin. “I do love the girls. With all my heart.”
“I know you do.” He took her hands in his, both of them. Enclosed them in the blanket of his warmth. “Do you think you could come to love me too? Some day? I would be honored if you said yes.”