“I was seven.” He walked the edge of the room, running his hands through the thick vines that covered the walls. “I went to my grandfather in Scotland for a while. He died. Then I went to a cousin who paid for a series of nannies and boarding schools. By the time I was ready to go to university, the money was almost gone. I took what was left and put it in investments while I went into the Army. By the time I got out, I could afford this place.”
The military part she did know about. Damon had not only gone into the Army, he’d been decorated for valor in military actions in both Sierra Leone and Afghanistan. By the time he’d been sent to Afghanistan, he’d been Special Air Service, a commando. He’d been recruited to SIS from there. He’d spent his entire adult life as a soldier of some sort. He wasn’t ready to give it up. Though she’d hated the way he’d talked to her, she could understand it on some level. He didn’t think he had anything else to offer the world except his skills as an operative.
She followed him, watching his every move. Now that she wasn’t completely distracted by the beauty of the place, she could see that there were small staged areas among the natural settings. The St. Andrew’s Crosses were placed strategically around the room. There were several spaces with dungeon-looking apparatuses, and in the back she saw something that looked like a lounge with a large, decadent-looking bar dominating the space. “It seems like a lot of room for just one man. I know you have the club here on the bottom, but there must be ten floors.”
“Only six. And I don’t live alone.”
“Oh.” Did he have a girlfriend here? That stopped her in her tracks. She knew he’d do just about anything for a mission, but she hadn’t considered that he would compartmentalize so thoroughly that he could bring in a partner he was going to sleep with when he had a woman living with him.
He stared at her for a moment. “You don’t think much of me, do you? I don’t keep a wife or a sub here. I meant I have a friend who runs the club when I’m not around. Like Taggart, I have a Dom in Residence. His name is Reg and he keeps his two subs with him. They’re poly. I’m sure that will make you think less of me, too.”
She stopped. He was doing it again. She’d begun to notice just how good he was at manipulating her. She was pretty sure he did it to everyone around him. He wasn’t a man who just faced a relationship issue head on. He tried to sneak around them to get his way without having to compromise. He was so beautiful, and he controlled his world with an iron fist. She wondered if anyone ever even thought to challenge him. It was right there—the instinct to apologize, to try to make the gorgeous, distant man feel better, but she pushed it aside. “It doesn’t bother me at all. As long as everyone is consenting adults, I think they should do as they please. You’ll have to try again.”
“Try again?”
“Yes. You’re manipulating me in to giving you some outcome you want. I would rather you simply asked. I don’t like manipulations.”
A bitter laugh came from his mouth. “Then you’re in the wrong business.”
“Perhaps,” she allowed. “I never meant to leave the confines of my desk. It’s much simpler there. I understand that you might have to manipulate situations in your job, but I’m not your job. I’m supposed to be your partner, but I think you telling me that was another manipulation. You’re very good at using the right words to get the intended outcome. I’m not your partner, am I?”
“No.”
“I’m a prop.”
He frowned, his eyes finding hers. “You’re upset that I was hard on you.”
She understood why he’d been hard on her. He’d been in the moment and he hadn’t had time to figure out how to ease her in to giving him what he wanted. She didn’t like it, but it had pointed out the reality of her situation. “No, I’m simply trying to get to the truth of the matter.”
“You were hurt that we were intimate and then I was mean to you.”
“Of course. I’m female. I’m rather inexperienced. Sex was definitely the right way to manipulate me. If the incident with Mr. Champion had occurred a few days down the line, after you’d gotten me into bed, I likely would have brushed it away because I would have been so eager to continue the relationship.”
Those gorgeous lips turned into a sullen pout. Unfortunately, it didn’t make him any less attractive. “But of course you’re not now.”
“Well, now I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a relationship. It was foolish to pretend it was.” But she had. It had only been a day since she’d accepted his offer and she’d been daydreaming about having him around.
“So I’ve made you angry and you’re going to shut down the operation.”
That was at the heart of it. This was his operation, the one that would get him back in the field, the one that proved he could still handle himself, that he was still a man.
“No. I’m going to continue because I read the file and it’s important that we succeed. I’m going to continue the operation and your training for a variety of reasons.”
A single brow arched over gray eyes. “Oh, I would love to hear your reasons.”
This was the part she’d decided on the train ride. She’d analyzed the situation and come to a couple of conclusions. She couldn’t walk away, but she intended to get something out of it. “One, because it’s important for the mission. You’re right. We do have to look the part, and that means I need to learn to be a proper submissive.”
“Very logical. And your other reason?”
Ah, the harder part to admit. But she was done with hiding behind books. “Because I think I might like it. Because I would like to explore this lifestyle and perhaps at the end of this mission, I could meet someone who could help me continue my journey. You were right about a few things. I do let people walk on me. I want to feel better about myself so I can stand up. I’m not a bad person. I’m actually quite good, and it’s time I started asking for what I want. That’s what all this business is about at the heart of it. It’s about communication and trust. I want those things, Mr. Knight. I crave them. So I’m going to make you a new deal. I will stay on and learn your ways and you will give me access to the place after we’re done.”
“So you can find a bloody Dom?” The question came out on an angry huff.
“Why shouldn’t I? Am I not worthy of one?”
He stalked toward her, crossing the space in long, lean movements. “Now who’s manipulating whom? I had my hands inside your cunt not three hours ago, and now you’re asking me to find you another man?”
She was quite shocked at the vulgar word coming out of his mouth. He’d used dirty language around her but there had been tenderness to it. He was angry now, and he wasn’t trying to hide it. Penelope started to take a step back, but if she’d learned anything at all today it was that she needed to stand her ground if he was ever going to think of her as anything but a prop. “You did that because you wanted to establish our cover. Don’t act like you’re hurt because this is all about the mission.”
He stopped about a foot away, and just for a moment she thought he might explode. Just for a moment she thought he might need to, but he calmed, soothing out the rough edges of his expression and he was silky smooth again. She could already see him thinking, working up another strategy. “Of course. I’ll show you the rest of the place and then you can get started. I’ve arranged for us to spend the early evening with Charlotte and Ian and their friends. You can meet the crew and get used to them. I need to go and call Nigel.”
“You’re going to tell him about Champion?”
“Yes.”
But he wouldn’t tell him why he hadn’t brought him in. He wouldn’t mention that he’d passed out from lack of oxygen and a possible heart problem.