His every word seemed to sink into her skin, drawing her into those eyes. If he kept it up, her tongue would be on the floor or trying to get into his mouth because he was so close, all she could think about was kissing him.
She couldn’t. She couldn’t kiss him because it was ridiculous and she would look like an utter twit. No. She wasn’t this person. She wasn’t the girl who took on assignments and pretended to be a double 0’s girl. She was the type of girl who went home at night and had tea and watched telly.
Penny stood, unable to be close to him a moment longer. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to find someone else.”
His face hardened, eyes going dark. He’d gone from charm to menace in an instant, and Penny had to wonder which one was the act and which was the real Damon Knight. She rather thought she was looking at him now. “There isn’t anyone else. I’m out of time. I need at least ten days to get you properly trained and ready to go. We need to start by Monday, so I’m going to give you the weekend to think about this and come to the proper conclusion.”
“Juliet speaks German.” He hadn’t moved an inch toward her, but she suddenly felt stalked. She took a step toward the door, wanting to flee. If Nigel Crowe hadn’t been in the room, she likely would have, but she needed to keep her job and that meant showing some small amount of backbone.
“No.” Knight gave no explanation, just a sharp shake of his head.
Crowe stood with a sigh. “Unfortunately, I’ve looked into this, Miss Cash. You really are the only one with the proper credentials. We are in a bit of a bind here. Perhaps you could reconsider. I understand that it might seem distasteful to you…”
Knight snorted, an oddly aristocratic sound. “She’s scared out of her mind, Nige, and I rather think it isn’t about taking a bullet. She’s not stupid. She knows I’ll keep her safe. So that makes me wonder what really frightens her. I think she’s a prudish chit and she’s worried I’ll get her knickers off.”
Now there wasn’t any thought to backing off. There was the real Damon Knight, and she was so happy he’d finally shown up. Arrogant. A bit mean. Yes, that she could handle. “Did you ever stop to wonder if perhaps I’m simply not interested in even pretending to sleep with you?”
“No. Not once.”
“Maybe I don’t like men, Mr. Knight.” The minute she said it she wanted to take it back, but it wasn’t the first time her stubbornness had gotten her in trouble. If SIS wanted to fire her for being a pseudo lesbian, let them.
“Oh, you like men, love. And you like me. Why do you think I got so close to you? Why do you think I slid my thumb over your pulse? Because I needed to know how I affected your heart rate. I needed to see how your eyes dilated the minute I touched you. And I definitely wanted to know if I could get a whiff of arousal coming from between your thighs.”
“You bastard.” She could feel her cheeks flushing, shame threatening to overtake her because she knew just how aroused she’d gotten. Still was. God, she had to be sick to still find the man attractive.
His face softened slightly. “It’s all right. It’s nothing at all to be ashamed of. I know we tend to devalue sexuality in this country, but I think it’s a lovely thing. If it makes you feel better, come here and bump up against me. You’ll find I’ve got a hard-on.”
She couldn’t help it. Her eyes went there. Sure enough, his slacks had tented. Impressively.
“I had the same reaction.” His voice was all seduction now. “It’s all right. Let’s go somewhere and talk about this. I was wrong to approach you in such a crass manner. I’ll be honest. I’m usually much smoother than that. Give me a chance to take you to lunch and we can be civilized.”
But it was all an act. He could wear a thousand pound suit, but there was a predator underneath it. One she couldn’t handle. If she walked out with him, he would very likely smooth talk her in to agreeing and she would be underneath him by the time the boat left Dover.
And what the hell was wrong with that?
What was wrong with having an adventure? What was wrong with having an affair? She’d lived her whole life serving the people around her. What exactly was wrong with doing one completely insane thing?
“Knight, back off.” Nigel was standing, his face a grim mask. “I believe you’ve done enough damage for the day. Let the girl go.”
Knight’s face went a polite blank. “Of course.”
He stepped around her, making sure he didn’t poke her with the erection that was still obvious. He opened the door and closed it behind him without saying another word.
“You’ll forgive him. He’s not himself.” Nigel smoothed his tie down. “He’s struggling with the fact that his career is changing. This operation was important to him.”
“I’m sorry.” Her heart was still racing.
Nigel held a hand up. “I’ll attempt to find someone else.”
She nodded and turned, her hand on the knob, the same place he’d touched just moments before. “How likely is it that you’ll find someone in time?”
“Highly unlikely. We’ll have to figure something else out. But you don’t need to worry about that. Just continue your work. And it would be nice if you didn’t mention Knight’s state of…well, perhaps you could pretend he didn’t proposition you in my office.”
“Of course.” She wasn’t about to bring him up on sexual harassment charges. She had no illusions who would win that battle.
Or would he? He’d been injured. His career was changing? That could only mean that SIS wasn’t sure of his status. He’d been shot. Everyone had talked about it, but no one in her department knew exactly how bad it had been. He’d been gone for months. She’d been so lost in her own grief after her mum died that she hadn’t thought about him in forever. Well, not in anything but a fantasy way. She probably had never really thought about who he was as a man. Beyond his gorgeous face and his amazing body, there was still a man under there.
How hard would it be for a man like Knight to know that his whole career depended on one translator?
“I’ll give you my answer on Monday.”
Crowe sat up straighter. “I rather thought you’d already given me your answer.”
“Do you really think you can’t find anyone else?”
“I believe we won’t find anyone as qualified as you, but Miss Cash, you should understand that this is going to be a very, how should I put it, a very intimate operation. This cruise that the target is on is a cruise for people in what many would call a sexually deviant lifestyle. I really didn’t think Knight should even ask you, but he insisted.”
She had to work to make sure her jaw didn’t drop open. “What sort of sexually deviant lifestyle? Is it one large orgy? A swinging thing?”
“No. Not at all. I’ve rather heard many of these men are deeply possessive of their partners. That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t see public sex, but Knight certainly wouldn’t ask you to sleep with anyone, well, anyone except him, very likely.” Crowe, who had overseen more bloody missions than Penny could even count, seemed deeply awkward talking about sex. She thought he’d rather be discussing the terrorist plot. “It wasn’t well done of him to ask you. I tried to explain that to him.”
It wasn’t well done of him to ask her on the mission or to ask her on an operation that might include having sex with him to keep up their cover? She wasn’t sure she liked the sound of either. It was perverse. Crowe was supporting her position, but now she felt a well of stubborn will rise up. “Well, I am a member of this organization. I do have security clearance. And I knew that I could be asked to go into the field if I was needed.”