‘They’re just puffed up on themselves, Telorast. That’s all. They’re all emperors and empresses in their own puny minds, don’t you see? With all in the domain theirs to do with as they will. How dare some dumb beast bite back!’
‘We’ll get them in the end, Curdle.’
‘Us and the hares!’
‘Exactly! Rule the domain, will you? No, my friends, the domain rules you!’
Telorast fell silent then, as grim thoughts whispered through her. ‘Curdle,’ she ventured, lifting her small reptilian skull. ‘We’ll need to act soon.’
‘I know. It’s awful!’
‘Someone in the city’s causing trouble. We don’t like trouble, do we? At least, I don’t think we do.’
‘Unless it’s ours, Telorast. If we’re the ones causing trouble, that’s just fine. Perfect, in fact.’
‘Until it all goes wrong, like last time. And wasn’t that your fault? That’s how I remember it, Curdle. All your fault. This time round, watch yourself. Do as I say, everything I say.’
‘Should we tear him apart then?’
‘Who?’
‘The one who likes keeping the throne empty. In out in out in out, just shuffle them through. Nobody get comfortable! Chaos and confusion, civil wars and betrayals and blood everywhere! What a creep!’
‘You think we should tear him apart, Curdle?’
‘I thought I was supposed to be following your lead. So lead, Telorast! Do we rend him into little messy pieces or don’t we?’
‘That depends.’ Telorast leapt to her taloned feet and began pacing, tiny forearms twitching. ‘Is he the enemy?’
‘Is he-what? Sweetness, aren’t they all our enemies?’
‘Agh! You’re right! What got into me?’
‘Simple, he just thought to ignore us. We don’t like being ignored. People who ignore us die. That’s the rule we’ve always lived by. Snub us and we’ll chew you into mangled flaps of skin and hair! Chips of bone, things that drip and leak!’
‘Should we go and kill him then?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Oh, tell me what to do! I can’t tell you to follow my lead unless I get guidance from you first!’
‘It’s a partnership all right,’ agreed Curdle. ‘Let me think.’
Telorast paused, head lifting yet higher. ‘Gah! What’s those green blobs in the sky?’
‘Don’t come near me.’
Withal eyed his wife, decided he’d seen this before, and so kept his distance. ‘Why did she want you there at all? That’s what I can’t figure.’
Sandalath sat down, the effort a protracted procedure measured in winces, grunts and cautious sighs. ‘I didn’t anticipate a physical assault, that’s for sure.’
Withal almost stepped forward then, but managed to restrain his instinctive gesture. ‘She beat you up? Gods below, I knew the Adjunct was a hard woman, but that’s going too far!’
‘Oh, be quiet. Of course she didn’t beat me up. Let’s just say the cards were assigned with some, uh, force. As if that would convince us of anything. The whole sorcery surrounding the Deck of Dragons is an affront to sensible creatures-like me.’
Sensible? Well, I suppose. ‘The caster found you a card, then. Which one?’
He watched as she weighed the value of answering him. ‘It threw me into a wall.’
‘What did?’
‘The card, you idiot! Queen of Dark! As if I could be anything like that-stupid deck, what does it know of High House Dark? The past is dead, the thrones abandoned. There is no King and certainly no Queen! It’s senseless-how can Quick Ben be Magus of Dark? He’s not even Tiste Andii. Bah, all nonsense, all of it-gods, I think my ribs are cracked. Make some tea, love, be useful.’
‘Glad I waited up for you,’ Withal muttered, setting off to brew a pot. ‘Any preferences?’
‘No, but add a drop of d’bayang oil, will you? Next time, I’ll wear armour. Is it cold in here? Feed the hearth, I don’t want to get a chill. Throw me those furs. Is that water pipe just ornamental? Do we have any durhang? Gods, it hurts to talk.’
News to me, darling.
The dead iguana’s last animate act had been to clamp its jaws on Limp’s right ear. The soldier was weeping softly as Deadsmell knelt beside him and tried to prise loose the lizard’s savage grip. Blood flowed and it looked as if Limp was going to be left with half an ear on that side.
Ebron was sitting on the bed, head in his hands. ‘It’ll be all right, Limp. We’ll get the knee fixed up. Maybe sew that bit of ear back on-’
‘No we won’t,’ said Deadsmell. ‘That’ll go septic for sure and then spread out. Iguana saliva, especially a dead iguana’s saliva, is bound to be nasty stuff. As it is, I’ll need to work a ritual to purge whatever toxins have already slipped into him.’ He paused. ‘Masan, you can crawl out from under the bed now.’
‘So you say,’ the woman replied, then coughed. ‘Hood-damned hairballs-I’ll never be clean again.’
Limp squealed when Deadsmell worked a knife-blade between the iguana’s jaws and, failing to open them, simply started cutting at the tendons and muscle tissue at the hinges. A moment later and the creature fell away, startling everyone when it whistled an exhalation through its slitted nostrils.
‘I thought you said it was dead!’ Cord accused, walking over to slam his boot heel down on the iguana’s head. Things splatted out to the sides.
‘Now it is,’ Deadsmell affirmed. ‘Lie still, Limp. Let’s get the healing started-’
‘You should never let necromancers heal people,’ Crump complained, glowering from the corner of the room. The various components of his wood carving, shapeless riders on shapeless horses, had all vanished out into the corridor after breaching the door, which seemed to have been achieved by a combination of chewing and hacking and who knew what else.
Deadsmell scowled over at the sapper. ‘You wouldn’t be saying that if you were dying of some wound and I was your only hope.’
‘Yes I would.’
The necromancer offered him a nasty smile. ‘We’ll see some day, won’t we?’
‘No we won’t. I’ll kill you first before I get wounded.’
‘And then we’d both be dead.’
‘That’s right, so there! Just what I was saying-nothing good comes of no necromancers no how!’
The flicker bird was a mashed heap of feathers on the floor. The bat-turtle had fled through the hole in the door, possibly in pursuit of the wooden troop. The black-furred rat still clung on all fours to the ceiling.
Shard moved to stand opposite Ebron. ‘Was Deadsmell right, mage? Did the Lord of Death show up here?’
‘No. Not as such. Why don’t you ask him yourself-’
‘Because he’s busy healing. I want to hear from you, Ebron.’
‘More like all the warrens woke up all at once. Corporal, I don’t know what the Adjunct’s playing at, but it won’t be fun. We’re gonna march soon-I think tonight’s decided it. The roles are set, only I doubt anybody-even Tavore-knows all the players. Noses are gonna get bloodied.’
Deadsmell had of course been listening. Working on the wreck that was Limp’s knee had become rote for the healer-as it was for virtually every healer in the company, not one of whom had escaped delivering ministrations to the hapless fool. ‘Ebron’s right. I don’t envy your squad, if you end up as Sinn’s escort again-she’s right in the middle of it.’
‘I don’t like her neither,’ said Crump.
Ebron sneered at Deadsmell. ‘How close we happen to be with anybody won’t make any difference. We’re all in trouble.’
An odd, frothy, bubbling sound drew everyone’s attention, and all eyes fixed on the crushed head of the iguana, as it exhaled yet again.
A snort came from under the bed. ‘I ain’t leaving here until the sun comes up.’
The others had left, their departure more a headlong flight than a solemn dismissal, until only the Adjunct, Lostara Yil and Brys Beddict remained. Plaster dust hazed the light from the lanterns, and the floor ground and crunched underfoot.