"Of course they are, dear," Edwina said placidly, still petting Mister Nibbles. "Shall we have a nice cup of tea to celebrate, now that you've finally arrived? I knew Mister Nibbles would manage to detain you for a time, but I didn't think you'd be this late. Either you took your sweet time treating Dov's leg or else my baby boy still runs to the ER over any little scratch." She turned her back on them and ambled into the parlor.
Dov and Peez exchanged a look that was half bewilderment, half apprehension. "I guess we've learned a valuable lesson here," Peez muttered. "Caffeine is no substitute for genius. She knew we were coming. She knew enough to sic a spy squirrel on us and hold us up so she could make tea! She probably stockpiled enough magic from her own batteries to counter any spells we could throw at her before you even accessed her accounts. Not a lot of punch left to a surprise attack once you take the surprise part away."
"Don't be silly, Peez darling," Edwina called from the parlor. "I was very surprised. Really, I was. Now come in here before all the scones are gone. I've got your favorite flavor: orange-cranberry."
Reluctantly, suspiciously, Dov and Peez entered the parlor just in time to see Edwina in a tug-of-war over the last orange-cranberry scone with Teddy Tumtum. Mister Nibbles was chittering angrily at the bear, who was seated on the sofa within easy grabbing distance of a large platter of scones, muffins, and assorted tea cakes.
"I might have known," Peez said bitterly, seating herself in a high-backed chair as far from Teddy Tumtum as possible.
"You and me both," said Dov, taking the chair closest to his sister. He had just caught sight of the glint of silver. Peez's treacherous teddy bear was wearing Ammi around his furry neck.
"Give me back that scone, Teddy Tumtum," Edwina said. "It's not as if you're actually able to eat it. You've just been tearing them to pieces and getting the crumbs all over my nice, clean house."
"And my nice, clean head," Ammi added.
"I don't care." The bear was sulky. "This way she can't have 'em either."
"Now you're just being needlessly vindictive," Edwina chided him. She let him keep the scone while she filled two teacups from the steaming pot and passed them around. "What next, dare I ask? Tying her shoelaces together? Lighting bags of dog poop on her front steps? Freezing her power assets through the Internet?"
She looked meaningfully at her children.
"You were right, Peez," Dov said.
"Once I found out that the two of you were together at last, I suspected you'd try something. I wasn't sure what, but thanks to some inside information and advice"— Edwina lavished a grateful look on Teddy Tumtum and Ammi—"I was able to narrow down your possible points of attack."
"And you didn't try to stop us?" Peez asked. "You didn't make any ... withdrawals before Dov secured your system?"
"I suppose I should have, but I was just so fascinated, watching you and your brother at work together, that I lost track of time. Silly me."
"So that means that we—that we still control your magic?" The cup and saucer in Dov's hands were clattering wildly.
"Well of course you do, dear. And I wouldn't have it any other way." Edwina sipped her tea. "I suppose I owe you an apology," she went on. "Or not. I admit that I deceived you, telling you that I was at death's door when in reality I haven't even begun to ask for directions to his house."
"You don't think we deserve an apology for putting us through that?" Peez could hardly believe what she was hearing. Inside she was a turmoil of conflicting emotions which coalesced into the long, piteous cri de coeur that escaped her lips: "Mooommm! That's not fay-yerrr!"
"I didn't want fairness; I wanted results. And I got them." Edwina gazed at her children and smiled. "I also want to retire, travel, visit old friends, make new ones, and enjoy every last day of the rest of my life. I couldn't very well do that when the two of you were still at each other's throats, now, could I? Well, I suppose I could have, if I didn't mind watching the business I put together from nothing get torn to pieces before my eyes like—like—" Her gaze wandered the room as if searching for an appropriate image and at last fell on Teddy Tumtum. "—like a common orange-cranberry scone!" she concluded.
"So this was all just a ploy to get us to make peace?" Dov asked, marveling at his mother's bald-faced effrontery.
"You make that sound like a bad thing," Edwina replied, feeding bits of corn muffin to Mister Nibbles. "But I don't think that's the only thing you got out of your travels, is it?"
The Godz siblings thought this over.
"I can't speak for Dov," Peez said, "but I learned more about who our clients are and what they believe than when they were just a list of names and numbers in the company databank."
"Me, too," Dov said. "I guess it's better for everyone this way, huh? For Peez and me, for the clients, for the company ..."
"And for me," Edwina concluded. She gave Mister Nibbles the last crumb of corn muffin and stood up. "You may not believe me, but I love both of you more than words can say. You're my children, and I've raised you the best way I knew how. I made mistakes—I have yet to meet a parent who didn't—but I think that by and large you turned out beautifully. You just needed a few finishing touches."
"You may love us as much as you claim," Peez said, "but you love the company more. You said it yourself: The only reason you cared about getting Dov and me to reconcile was so that we didn't destroy your precious E. Godz, Inc. after you were gone."
"Oh, Peez, do you really think that?" Edwina looked genuinely sad. "All this time you've spent learning about the different ways we seek the power of the earth-magic, and you've never once thought about how the earth herself treats her children? Sometimes she's kind, sometimes harsh, sometimes she makes all of us cry out that she's unfair, but always, always she provides for us and does her best to scatter her gifts with a generous, even hand among all her children. If we can't see that, it's because we're children, and children never see things the way their parents do until they become parents themselves." Then she gave her daughter a very suggestive wink and added: "But that's something you'll find out soon enough, my darling."
"Find ... out ... soon ... what?" Peez quavered.
"What it's like to be a mother." Edwina chucked Peez under the chin and added: "Close your mouth, dear, you're gaping like a halibut, and there's something highly disturbing about a pregnant halibut."
"Pregnant? Peez! I'm going to be an uncle!" Dov exclaimed. "Cool! Mom, are you sure?"
"When you're in tune with the earth-powers, you become sensitive to lots of things," a complacent Edwina told him. "My intuition is infallible in these matters, and much classier than going tinkle on a chemically treated stick."
"Mooommm!" Dov moaned in agonies of mortification.
"But I—but he—but Martin—" Peez sputtered. "For the love of Margaret Sanger, we only did it once!"
"I doubt that, dear," Edwina said, stooping to give her daughter a quick kiss on the forehead. "But in any case, once is all it takes. Now I'm going to leave the company to both of you and blow this pop stand as soon as humanly possible, but I promise I'll be back in time to help you with the birthing. You'll want to ask Fiorella for some anti- morning sickness spells right away, and get Mr. Bones to confect a little something to ease the pain of labor—although you might like to try having the Reverend Everything supervise an underwater birthing experience with those cute little dolphins of his. Oh, and we must ask the Seshat-by-the-Shore congregation to work up a horoscope for the child, and get Sam Turkey Feather to chant the proper blessings, and we have to invite Martin Agparak, for obvious reasons, and—"