Dov snorted. "Peez? Please! Even if she were going to try grabbing the Reverend Everything for herself, which I doubt she'd have the chops to do, one look at his set-up and she'd run shrieking for the hills. She takes faith seriously, my sister does. Any trace of showmanship makes her break out in a case of acute disapproval. Once when we were kids Mom took us to a wedding in an Episcopal church and Peez couldn't stop complaining about how they were swinging the censers much too wildly, in a frivolous manner. If you think my ethics are holding me back, you ought to get a load of hers. The girl's still a virgin!"
"Not any more, she's not," said Ammi.
"Says you."
"No, says her."
"What?" Dov's logical mind insisted that the amulet had to be lying. Ammi was annoyed with him for having failed to bag the Reverend Everything and this was payback. It had to be ... didn't it? "When? To your face?"
Ammi smirked. "Where else? It's not like I've got a back for her to talk behind. Or a behind, for that matter."
"What I mean is, if it's true—and I don't believe that for an instant—then how did you find out?"
"Hey, who's the communications device here?" Ammi was enjoying this. "Information is my life."
"This is not the sort of thing that gets posted on the Internet. Wait. Let me rephrase that. This is not the sort of thing that my sister Peez would post on the Internet. Even if it were, you haven't had Internet access, or access to anything but my pocket lint, since we left Miami."
"And chest hair," Ammi prompted. "I've also had access to your chest hair, don't forget that. God knows, I never will."
"Will you leave my chest hair out of this and just answer the question?"
The amulet chuckled. "Elementary, my dear Dov. I was created to monitor communications. I sift hard information from idle chitchat, real news from spam. Do that long enough and it makes you sensitive to nuances, not just in information, but in people. No surprise: What are people besides information dumps with legs? Change is a nuance, and losing your virginity is one significant change. For a device of my sensitivity, your sister's altered sexual status came in loud and clear, like she'd walked up to you and hollered it in your ear."
"It must've been one hell of a first time if you could sense the change in her at this distance. She must be at least a couple of thousand miles away," Dov remarked.
"A couple of thousand miles? That's a laugh! Try feet, a couple of dozen at most." The amulet grinned. "Unless that isn't who I know it is. See there, over at that newsstand? Checking out the latest copy of Cosmopolitan?"
Dov whipped his head around to peer at the airport shop just across the way from the table where he'd been enjoying the unspilled portion of his cup of coffee. That is, he'd been enjoying it up until that very moment when he saw that Ammi was not joking: There was Peez, as big as life and twice as condescending.
She stood by one of the many magazine racks in the newsstand and was, as advertised, scanning an issue of Cosmopolitan. Dov realized that he'd caught a glimpse of her over there earlier, but that he had failed to recognize her at the time. There were a number of good reasons for this, the copy of Cosmo being number one. Five minutes ago, Dov would have bet his life that Peez would rather be caught in the middle of Fifth Avenue during New York City's Easter Parade, naked except for a pair of pink plush bunny ears, sooner than touch any magazine that tossed the word orgasm hither and yon like handfuls of confetti.
Another reason Dov had noted but not seen Peez was more basic: She'd changed her looks. Gone was the severe, serviceable hairstyle. Somewhere along the line she'd gotten a stylish cut and was wearing her hair loose, lightly curled and— Were those highlights?
"Son of a seamstress," he muttered. "She's actually got a figure!" It was true. The same impulse that had made Peez set her hair loose had also caused her to wear clothing that was shorter, tighter, and a lot more colorful. She didn't look like one of the Reverend Everything's Temple Maidens by any means, but her ample curves were more welcoming and less intimidating than those California-perfect bodies.
"Well? Aren't you going to go over there and say hi to your beloved sister?" Ammi teased.
"In a pig's eye," Dov said through tightly gritted teeth. "Damn it, she is here to bag the Reverend Everything. And looking like that, she just might do it!"
"Told you so, told you so," Ammi chanted in an obnoxious singsong. "Unless you're right—as if!—and she's still got too many scruples to deal with the First Church of Perpetual Gimmickry."
"You think there's a chance of that?" Dov sounded pathetic.
"How should I know? You're the one who thinks you can bank on your personal charms forever. The Reverend Everything's going to wait for you to call because you've got such a winning smile; is that how you see it? Ha! I'll bet you even have a whole wardrobe of smiles, one suitable for every occasion!"
Dov pressed his lips together and said nothing. Bad enough that Ammi was right; he didn't need to let the amulet know it had hit the mark.
Ammi didn't much care about scoring points off Dov. The little amulet would have made a very unsatisfactory member of the Reverend Everything's Serene Temple of Unfailing Lifescores. "You think you're the only one with charisma? All it means is a fancy Greek way of saying you believe in your own abilities. Show a little of that self- confidence to the world and before you know it, you've got a crowd clamoring for your company, hoping that if they stick close, some of that magic's going to rub off on them. The Reverend Everything knows all about charisma: He'd bottle it, if he could! Well, guess what? Now your sister's in on the secret, too."
"How? Just because she finally got la—?"
"No vulgarity, please." Ammi could sound like a Puritan when it suited. "The change in Peez's, ah, status, was only the catalyst. Deep down inside, she always knew she had what it took to get ahead in life. She just needed a little push."
"Now who's being vulgar?" Dov smirked.
"That would be you," the amulet replied. "Some people have the ability to think outside the box and out of the gutter. Obviously you are not one of those people. If I had shoulders, I'd shrug them, and if I had hands, I'd wash them of you. You're only being snide about Peez because now she's a real threat to you getting the company. You big baby. You brought this on yourself, you know."
"If I wanted a lecture, I'd go back to school," Dov growled. He dunked Ammi in his coffee cup for emphasis. A galaxy of tiny bubbles rose to the surface, bursting into sparkling pinpoints of magical power. The amulet couldn't drown, but it didn't care for being treated like a teabag. The bubbles were a warning to Dov: Get me out of here before I send up a freakin' flare of magic! Or do you want your sister to know you're here?
Dov did not want that at all. In fact, he was plotting on how best to use this unexpected, clandestine Peez-sighting to his advantage. Accordingly he jerked Ammi out of the coffee and dried the amulet off on a paper napkin. "Oops. My bad," he said, using a very disarming smile.
The amulet wasn't buying. "News flash, slick: Butter will not only melt in your mouth, it'll vaporize."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Now let's get out of here before she notices us."
"Hey, don't waste time selling me on an escape plan. You're the one with the legs."