which enfolded her, and she lay on the downy edges of sleep.
David found her like that, sitting in the deep chair with her legs
curled sideways under her and her face side-lit by the reflected
sunlight from the window. The turban of white bandages that swathed her
head were crisp and fresh and her gown was white as a bride's, with
cascades of filmy lace.
He stood before her chair studying her with care, her face was pale, but
the dark bruises below her eyes had cleared and the set of her full lips
was serene and peaceful, With infinite tenderness he leaned forward and
laid his open hand against her cheek. She stiffed drowsily, and opened
eyes that were honey brown and flecked with bright flakes of gold. They
were beautiful, and vague, misty and sightless, then suddenly he saw
them change, the look of them was sharp and aware. Her gaze focused,
and steadied. She was looking at him, and seeing him.
Debra was roused from the warm edge of sleep by the touch upon her
cheek, as light as the fall of an autumn leaf. She opened her eyes to
soft golden clouds, then suddenly like the morning wind slashing away
the sea mist, the clouds rolled open and she looked beyond to the
monster's head that swam towards her, a colossal disembodied head that
seemed must arise from the halls of hell itself, a head so riven with
livid lines and set with the bestial, crudely worked features of one of
the dark hosts, that she flung herself back in her chair, cringing away
from the terror of it, and she lifted her hands to her face and she
screamed.
David turned and ran from the room, slamming the door behind him, his
feet pounded down the passage and the Brig heard him coming and stepped
into the corridor.
David! He reached out a hand to him, to hold him back, but David struck
out at him wildly, a blow that caught him in the chest throwing him back
heavily against the wall. When he regained his balance, and staggered
from the wall clutching his chest, David was gone. His frantic
footsteps clattered up from the well of the stairs.
David! he called, his voice croaking. Wait! But he was gone, his
footsteps fading, and the Brig let him go.
instead he turned and hurried painfully down the corridor to where the
hysterical sobs of his daughter rang from behind the closed door.
She looked up from her cupped hands when she heard the door open, and
wonder dawned through the terror in her eyes. I can see you, she
whispered, I can see. He went to her quickly and took her in the
protective circle of his arms.
It's all right, he told her awkwardly, it's going to be all right. She
clung to him, stifling the last of her sobs.
I had a dream, she murmured, a terrible dream, and she shuddered against
him. Then suddenly she pulled away.
David, she cried, where is David? I must see him. The Brig stiffened,
realizing that she had not recognized reality.
I must see him, she repeated, and he replied heavily, You have already
seen him, my child. For many seconds she did not understand, and then
slowly it came to her.
David? she whispered, her voice catching and breaking. That was David?
The Brig nodded, watching her face for the revulsion and the horror.
oh dear God, Debra's voice was fierce. What have I done? I screamed
when I saw him. What have I done to him? I've driven him away. So you
still want to see him again? the Brig asked.
How can you say that? Debra blazed at him. More than anything on this
earth. You must know that!
even the way he is now?
If you think that would make any difference to me then you don't know me
very well. Her expression changed again, becoming concerned. Find him
for me, she ordered. Quickly, before he has a chance to do something
stupid.
I don't know where he has gone, the Brig answered, his own concern
aroused by the possibility which Debra had hinted at.
There is only one place he would go when he is hurt like this, Debra
told him. He will be in the sky. 'Yes, the Brig agreed readily.
Get down to Air Traffic Control, they'll let you speak to him. The Brig
turned for the door and Debra's voice urged him on.
Find him for me, Daddy. Please find him for me.
The Navajo seemed to come around on to a southerly heading under its own
volition. It was only when the sleek, rounded nose settled on course,
climbing steadily upwards towards the incredibly tall and unsullied blue
of the heavens that David knew where he was going.
Behind him, the solid flat-topped mountain with its glistening wreaths
of clouds fell away. This was the last of the land, and ahead lay only
the great barren wastes of ice and cruel water.
David glanced at his fuel gauges. His vision was sully blurred, but he
saw the needles registering a little over the half-way mark on the
dials.
Three hours flying perhaps, and David felt a chill relief that there was
to be a term to his suffering. He saw clearly then how it would end
down there in the wilderness below the shipping lanes. He would
continue to bore for height, climbing steadily until at last his engines
starved and failed. Then he would push the nose down into a vertical
dive and go in hard and fast, like the final suicide stoop of a maimed
and moribund eagle.
It would be over swiftly, and the metal fuselage would carry him down to
a grave that could not be as lonely as the desolation in which he now
existed.
The radio crackled and hummed into life. He heard Air Traffic snarl his
call sign through the static crackle, and he reached for the switch to
kill the set, when the well-remembered voice stayed his hand.
David, this is the Brig. The words and the tone in which they were
spoken transported him back to another cockpit in another land.
You disobeyed me once before. Don't do it again. David's mouth
tightened into a thin colourless line and again he reached for the
switch. He knew they were watching him on the radar plot, that they
knew his course, and that the Brig had guessed what he intended.
Well, there was nothing they could do about it.
David, the Brig's voice softened, and some sure instinct made him choose
the only words to which David would listen. I have just spoken to
Debra. She wants you desperately. David's hand hovered over the
switch.
Listen to me, David. She needs you, she will always need you. David
blinked, for he felt tears scalding his eyes once more. His
determination wavered. Come back, David. For her sake, come back. out
of the darkness of his soul, a light shone, a small light which grew and
spread until it seemed to fill him with its shimmering brightness.
David, this is the Brig. Again it was the voice of the old warrior,
hard and uncompromising. Return to base immediately. David grinned,
and lifted the microphone to his mouth. He thumbed the transmit button,
and spoke the old acknowledgement in Hebrew.
Beseder! This is Bright Lance leader, homeward bound, and he brought
the Navajo around steeply.
The mountain was blue and low on the horizon, and he let the nose sink
gradually towards it. He knew that it would not be easy, that it would
require all his courage and patience, but he knew that in the end it
would be worth it all. Suddenly he needed desperately to be alone with
Debra, in the peace of Jabulani.