Mishnoff didn't feel like a joke either, particularly not a foolish one, but he continued, "Sprechen Sie Planetisch?"
He did not know the German for "Planetary Standard Language" so he had to guess. Too late, he thought he should have referred to it simply as English.
The other man stared wide-eyed at him. "Sind Sie wahnsinnig?"
Mishnoff was almost willing to settle for that, but in feeble self-defense, he said, "I'm not crazy, damn it. I mean, "AufderErde woher Sie gekom-"
He gave it up for lack of German, but the new idea that was rattling inside his skull would not quit its nagging. He had to find some way of testing it. He said desperately, "Welches fahr ist es jetzt?"
Presumably, the stranger, who was questioning his sanity already, would be convinced of Mishnoff's insanity now that he was being asked what year it was, but it was one question for which Mishnoff had the necessary German.
The other muttered something that sounded suspiciously like good German swearing and then said, "Es ist dock zwei tausend drei hundert vier-und-sechzig, und warum-"
The stream of German that followed was completely incomprehensible to Mishnoff, but in any case he had had enough for the moment. If he translated the German correctly, the year given him was 2364, which was nearly two thousand years in the past. How could that be?
He muttered, "Zwei tausend drei hundert vier-und sechzig?"
"Ja, fa," said the other, with deep sarcasm. "Zwei tausend drei hundert vier-und-sechzig. Der ganze fahr long ist es so gewesen."
Mishnoff shrugged. The statement that it had been so all year long was a feeble witticism even in German and it gained nothing in translation. He pondered.
But then the other's ironical tone deepening, the German-speaking one went on, "Zwei tausend drei hundert vier-und-sechzig nach Hitler. Hilft das Ihnen vielleicht? Nach Hitler!"
Mishnoff yelled with delight. "That does help me. Es hilft! Horen Sie, bitte-" He went on in broken German interspersed with scraps of Planetary, "For Heaven's sake, urn Gottes willen-"
Making it 2364 after Hitler was different altogether.
He put German together desperately, trying to explain.
The other frowned and grew thoughtful. He lifted his gloved hand to stroke his chin or make some equivalent gesture, hit the transparent visor that covered his face and left his hand there uselessly, while he thought.
He said, suddenly, "Ich heiss George Fallenby."
To Mishnoff it seemed that the name must be of Anglo-Saxon derivation, although the change in vowel form as pronounced by the other made it seem Teutonic.
"Guten Tag," said Mishnoff awkwardly. "Ich heiss Alec Mishnoff," and was suddenly aware of the Slavic derivation of his own name.
"Kommen Sie mit mir, Hen Mishnoff," said Fallenby.
Mishnoff followed with a strained smile, muttering into his transmitter, "It's all right, Ching. It's all right."
Back on Earth proper, Mishnoff faced the Sector's Bureau Head, who had grown old in the Service; whose every gray hair betokened a problem met and solved; and every missing hair a problem averted. He was a cautious man with eyes still bright and teeth that were still his own. His name was Berg.
He shook his head. "And they speak German: but the German you studied was two thousand years old."
"True," said Mishnoff. "But the English Hemingway used is two thousand years old and Planetary is close enough for anyone to be able to read it."
"Hmp. And who's this Hitler?"
"He was a sort of tribal chief in ancient times. He led the German tribe in one of the wars of the twentieth century, just about the time the Atomic Age started and true history began."
"Before the Devastation, you mean?"
"Right. There was a series of wars then. The Anglo-Saxon countries won out, and I suppose that's why the Earth speaks Planetary."
"And if Hitler and his Germans had won out, the world would speak German instead?"
"They have won out on Fallenby's Earth, sir, and they do speak German."
"And make their dates 'after Hitler' instead of a.d.?"
"Right. And I suppose there's an Earth in which the Slavic tribes won out and everyone speaks Russian."
"Somehow," said Berg, "it seems to me we should have foreseen it, and yet, as far as I know, no one has. After all, there are an infinite number of inhabited Earths, and we can't be the only one that has decided to solve the problem of unlimited population growth by expanding into the worlds of probability."
"Exactly," said Mishnoff earnestly, "and it seems to me that if you think of it, there must be countless inhabited Earths so doing and there must be many multiple occupations in the three hundred billion Earths we ourselves occupy. The only reason we caught this one is that, by sheer chance, they decided to build within a mile of the dwelling we had placed there. This is something we must check."
"You imply we ought to search all our Earths."
"I do, sir. We've got to make some settlement with other inhabited Earths. After all, there is room for all of us and to expand without agreement may result in all sorts of trouble and conflict."
"Yes," said Berg thoughtfully. "I agree with you."
Clarence Rimbro stared suspiciously at Berg's old face, creased now into all manner of benevolence.
"You're sure now?"
"Absolutely," said the Bureau Head. "We're sorry that you've had to accept temporary quarters for the last two weeks-"
"More like three."
"-three weeks, but you will be compensated."
"What was the noise?"
"Purely geological, sir. A rock was delicately balanced and, with the wind, it made occasional contact with the rocks of the hillside. We've removed it and surveyed the area to make certain that nothing similar will occur again."
Rimbro clutched his hat and said, "Well, thanks for your trouble."
"No thanks necessary, I assure you, Mr. Rimbro. This is our job."
Rimbro was ushered out, and Berg turned to Mishnoff, who had remained a quiet spectator of this completion of the Rimbro affair.
Berg said, "The Germans were nice about it, anyway. They admitted we had priority and got off. Room for everybody, they said. Of course, as it turned out, they build any number of dwellings on each unoccupied world… And now there's the project of surveying our other worlds and making similar agreements with whomever we find. It's all strictly confidential, too.
It can't be made known to the populace without plenty of preparation… Still, none of this is what I want to speak to you about."
"Oh?" said Mishnoff. Developments had not noticeably cheered him. His own bogey still concerned him.
Berg smiled at the younger man. "You understand, Mishnoff, we in the Bureau, and in the Planetary Government, too, are very appreciative of your quick thinking, of your understanding of the situation. This could have developed into something very tragic, had it not been for you. This appreciation will take some tangible form."
"Thank you, sir."
"But, as I said once before, this is something many of us should have thought of. How is it you did?… Now we've gone into your background a little. Your co-worker, Ching, tells us you have hinted in the past at some serious danger involved in our probability-pattern setup, and that you insisted on going out to meet the Germans although you were obviously frightened. You were anticipating what you actually found, were you not? And how did you do it?"
Mishnoff said confusedly, "No, no. That was not in my mind at all. It came as a surprise. I-"
Suddenly he stiffened. Why not now? They were grateful to him. He had proved that he was a man to be taken into account. One unexpected thing had already happened.
He said firmly, "There's something else."
"Yes?"
(How did one begin?) "There's no life in the Solar System other than the life on Earth."
"That's right," said Berg benevolently.
"And computation has it that the probability of developing any form of interstellar travel is so low as to be infinitesimal."