‘A famous mystery from back in the days of pre-history. They found a ship, the Marie Celeste, in mid-ocean about nine hundred years ago. It was in a perfect state but the crew were missing and …’ I stopped talking because Issette had her fingers in her ears.
‘Bad, bad, Jarra,’ she said. ‘No history lectures!’
I sighed. ‘I wasn’t lecturing. I was explaining. Anyway, Lecturer Playdon says he can’t start classes for at least a couple of hours. Fian’s gone to the store room to pick out the best impact suit in his size before the rest of the class arrive. I don’t need to do that because I’ve got my own suit, so I thought I’d give you a proper call for once instead of just exchanging mail messages. I couldn’t risk leaving it any later because you’d be doing your horrible medical things.’
Issette nodded. ‘My class has started our three weeks’ practical introduction to regrowth and rejuvenation techniques. They showed us someone in a tank yesterday and I fainted. They were regrowing his kidneys, so they had his stomach open and …’
I shuddered and used her own complaint ritual against her. ‘No! No gory medical lectures. Bad, bad, Issette.’
She giggled. ‘Half the class fainted. Our lecturer says we’ll get used to it.’ She turned to Keon. ‘You’d better get back to your own room and set up your laser light sculptures. You mustn’t be late for this.’
He sighed. ‘Work. Work. Work. I don’t know why I signed up for a Twoing contract with you.’
Issette gave him a wicked grin. ‘You go and be nice to that man. Remember what I promised if you do this properly.’
I didn’t dare to speculate about what Issette had promised, but it must have been good because Keon actually did as he was told. Once he was out of the room, Issette turned her attention back to me.
‘So, what did you do during your four day break?’ She pouted. ‘You didn’t come and visit us.’
I groaned. ‘I couldn’t. You know Fian’s parents came to Earth for the medal ceremony last week?’
‘Yes. I saw them talking to you and Fian afterwards.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to talk to you as well.’
She grinned. ‘Well of course you had to pose for the vid bees so Earth Rolling News could take their pictures. I was utterly, utterly grazzed! You’d told me all the archaeologists involved in rescuing the Military from the crashed spaceship were going to get a new medal, the Earth Star, so I knew you and Fian would both get that, but you didn’t say a word about the Artemis! Were you sworn to secrecy?’
‘Sworn to secrecy? I didn’t know anything about it! When Fian and I went up and got our Earth Stars, I thought that was it. When the Military called the injured tag leaders up again at the end to give us the Artemis … Well, if you were grazzed, think how I felt.’
‘It was totally zan!’ Issette’s face radiated her delight.
‘It was.’ I paused for a moment to indulge myself with the memory. The Artemis, the highest Military honour, had been awarded to civilians for the first time. I was one of the despised Handicapped, born with a faulty immune system that meant I could only survive on Earth, but I was also one of only eleven living people entitled to wear the Artemis medal. It was an amaz thought.
‘Anyway,’ I continued, ‘Fian’s parents said they’d stay on Earth until our four day break started, so Fian could go back with them to Hercules. Fian said he wanted to stay on Earth with me, but they were really disappointed.’
Issette frowned. ‘So what happened? Did he go or …?’
‘He stayed with me. Fian can be incredibly stubborn.’
Her frown vanished. ‘That’s good.’
I shook my head. ‘Not entirely. His parents decided to stay on Earth with us during our break.’
‘Noooo!’ Issette ran her fingers through her frizzy hair. ‘Was it dreadful?’
‘Well, they did their best to be friendly, but …’
‘But?’
I sighed. ‘They were being far too carefully polite all the time, and there were a lot of awkward silences. They said some nice things to me, but …’
Issette wrinkled her nose. ‘You don’t think they meant them?’
I tried to be fair about the situation. ‘It’s not surprising they’re unhappy about their son having a Handicapped girlfriend. I can’t leave Earth, which means Fian’s tied to Earth as well.’
‘Fian doesn’t seem to think that’s a problem,’ said Issette. ‘He says he wants to specialize in pre-history and spend a lot of time on Earth anyway.’
‘Fian may think that, but his parents must feel it’s already causing trouble. If I’d been a norm, we could have all gone to Hercules for a few days. And it’s not just the practical problems, it’s the stigma. Fian’s parents politely call me Handicapped, but what do their friends say to them? Their son has a Twoing contract with an ape, a nean, a throwback. That must be horribly embarrassing for them, so naturally they wish he’d picked a norm girl instead.’
Issette pulled a face. ‘So what did you do during the break? You were stuck with Fian’s parents the whole time?’
I nodded. ‘The four of us visited lots of places. Stonehenge. Pompeii. The Spirit of Man monument. The Wallam-Crane Science Museum. The Green Time exhibition at Greenwich.’
Issette groaned. ‘It sounds like a list of our most boring school trips.’
‘I didn’t mind Stonehenge and Pompeii, but we spent an entire day at the Wallam-Crane Science Museum, including four ghastly hours looking at the technical displays on the history of portal development. Fian’s parents do some sort of scientific research at University Hercules, so they were fascinated, and Fian seemed to understand it all, but you know me and science.’
She nodded. Issette knew exactly how much I hated science lessons at school, because she’d sat next to me during them and suffered my constant moaning. ‘My poor Jarra.’
‘If I ever get my hands on a time machine …’
She grinned. ‘I know. You’d go straight back to 2142 and strangle Wallam-Crane at birth so he can’t invent the portal. You’re always saying that. It’s a stupid idea, you nardle brain! Would you really want to have to drive everywhere on hover sleds, instead of portalling around Earth?’
I giggled. ‘Maybe not. I like ordinary portals. It’s just the interstellar ones that … Anyway, the worst bit was staying in the hotel.’
‘What’s wrong with a hotel? Surely it was nice to have your own bathroom for a change.’
‘I may be obsessed with history, but you’ve got obsessed with bathrooms since you started your Medical Foundation course.’
‘Bathrooms are very important,’ she said. ‘Do you know how many different sorts of bacteria live in the human digestive tract?’
‘No, and don’t you dare tell me! The problem with the hotel was that Fian’s from a planet in Delta sector.’
Issette gave me a look of total incomprehension. ‘So?’
‘Everyone knows planets in Beta sector are the most sexually permissive. Gamma sector customs are similar to Earth, but Delta sector is really strict.’
Issette caught up with what I meant. ‘You couldn’t share a room with Fian?’
‘Share a room? I’m surprised his parents allowed us to have rooms in the same hotel! We couldn’t even hug each other.’
‘Things can’t really be that prudish in Delta sector. Fian’s always seemed very … affectionate to you.’
I grinned. ‘Fian’s an incredibly badly-behaved Deltan, but his parents are traditionalists. Since we’re only on our first three-month Twoing contract, they barely approved of us holding hands. Fian said it would save arguments if we followed their rules while they were around.’
Issette rolled her eyes up towards the ceiling as she pulled an expressive face of disbelief. ‘And you were happy with that?’