Nine
We drove through an endless afternoon, passing scenery that appeared to have wilted. Crumbling sheds and unpainted houses, bony cattle drooping over fences.
"Whereabouts is this?" I finally asked.
"Georgia," said Jake.
"Georgia!" I sat up straighter and looked around me. I had never imagined finding myself in Georgia. But still there wasn't much to see. "Well," I said, "I tell you what. I think I'll go in the back and take a nap."
"No," said Jake.
"Why not?"
"I ain't going to have you slipping away from me. You would open that door and slip right away."
"Well, for goodness sake," I said. I felt insulted. "Why would I do that? All I want is a little sleep. Lock the door, if you like."
"No way of doing that."
"Get another chain from somewhere."
"What, and lock myself in too?"
"You could keep a key. Find one of those-"
"Lay off of me, Charlotte." I was quiet for a while. I studied snuff ads. Then I said, "You really ought to get over this thing about locks, you know."
"Lay off, I said." I looked for a radio, but there wasn't one. I opened the glove comparI'ment to check the insides: road maps, a flashlight, cigarettes, boring things like that.
I slammed it shut. I said, "Jake."
"Hmm."
"Where're we going, anyway?" He glanced over at me. "Now you ask," he said. "I was starting to think you had something missing."
"Missing?"
"Some nut or bolt or something. Not to wonder be-/fore now where we was headed."
"Well, I had no idea we were heading to some point," I said.
"You thought I was doing all this driving for the fun of it."
"Where are we going, Jake?"
"Perth, Florida," said Jake.
"Perth?"
"That's where Oliver lives. My friend from training school."
"Oh, Oliver."
"See, his mother moved him to Florida to get him out of trouble. Opened her a motel there. A widow lady. She never did think much of me, moved Oliver clean away from me. Now we're going to look him up, with a stop-off first in Linex, Georgia."
"What's in Linex?" I asked.
He started rummaging through his pockets. First his jacket, then his trouser pockets. Finally he came up with a piece of notebook paper. He held it out to me. "What's this?" I said.
"Read it" I unfolded it and smoothed the creases. The writing had been done with a hard lead pencil-one of those that leaves the other side of the paper embossed. All the i's were dotted with fat hearts.
Dear Jake, Honey please come get me soon! Its like a prison here. I had been expecting you long ago. Didn't you get my letter? I called your home but your mother said she didn't know where you were. Do you want for your son to be born in a prison?
Love and xxx! Mindy.
I read it twice. Then I looked at Jake.
"Now, that I couldn't abide," said Jake.
"What's that?"
"My son to be born in a prison."
"What's she in prison f or?"
"She ain't in prison, she's in a home for unwed mothers."
"Oh, I see," I said.
"Her mother is this devil, real devil. Sent her off to this home her church runs, never let me hear word one about it till Mindy was packed and gone. Mindy is a minor," he said.
I was slow: I thought he meant she worked in a mine. I saw a rich, black, underground world opening at my feet, where everyone was in some deep and dramatic trouble. I felt too pale for all this and I drew away, folding the letter primly. "She's too young to have a say," said Jake, but even after I understood I kept picturing her in someplace dark. "She's not but seventeen years old. But in my estimation they should have let her decide for herself, and me as well. I mean me and her been going together for three whole years, off and on."
"Well, wait," I said. "Three years?"
"She was fourteen," said Jake, "but right well developed."
"I never heard of such a thing."
"Okay, Miss Priss, but it wasn't my fault. She just set her heart on me. She just fixed on me and" wouldn't let go. See, she lived down the road from me and my mom a ways, Route Four outside of Clarion on the Pimsah River. Know the place? We'd been half acquainted for years, but not to speak to. Then her and her family come to watch this derby, and it just so happened I was driving in it and won. I guess in her eyes that must have made me some kind of a. hero. After that she commenced to following me around, calling me on the telephone and bringing me picnic lunches and beers she had stole from her daddy. Her daddy was Darnell Callender, owns a. feed store, you may have heard of him. Always wears a Panama hat. Well, at first I thought she was too young and besides I didn't like her all that much but I couldn't seem to shake her. She was forever hanging around and didn't take offense when I sent her away but went off smiling, made me feel bad. Just a little gal, you know? It was summer and she wore these sandals like threads, real breakable-looking. Finally it just seemed like I might as well go on out with her.
"But we weren't never what you would call steady," he said. "I would oftentimes be seeing other girls and all. I would ask myself, "Now how did I get mixed up with this Mindy anyhow, what's the point of it?* She talked too much, and not about nothing I cared for. Sometimes it seemed like she was so boring I just couldn't find enough air to breathe when I was around her. But sometimes, why, she'd say something to me direct that showed me how she watched me, how she saw me, you know? And I would think, This person is bound to have something to do with me. I mean it ain't love, but what is it? Worse than love, harder to break. Like we had to wear each other through, work something out, I don't know.
I swear, she like to drove me crazy. I'd say to myself, I'd say, "Why, she ain't nothing but a hindrance. I don't need to put up with this.' Then we would part.
But like always, she'd go smiling. And then later she'd keep coming around and coming around, and somehow I'd end up in the same old situation again. You understand?" I nodded. I could see it all happening but had not, up till now, imagined that it could happen to Jake.
"Then last fall, she calls me on the phone. Tells me she's expecting. A fluke: we were having one of our partings. I hadn't been near her since August.
Ordinarily I would try not to tamper with her anyway, but you know how it is sometimes. And I toitt say she had some part in it. A big part. I mean she would just… so there I was. What could I do? It had come up so sudden. Well, if she had wrote a letter maybe, give me time to think. But no, she has to telephone.
'Going to have a baby, Jake.' Happy as a queen. Says to me, 'I think we better get married.' "I was surprised, that's all. If I'd have thought I would have said, 'Now cool down, Mindy, well figure some other way of doing this.' But I was surprised. I said, 'Are you out of your flipping mind? Have you lost your marbles? Do you really believe I would get married, go that whole soft-living route?' I said. "Let alone marry you' Then I hung up. I was fit to be tied, I was as mad as I could get. But I know I should have handled it better than what I did."
"You were just startled," I told him.
I didn't mean to take his side like that. But I was touched by the tense, despairing way his hands were gripping the steering wheel. His bitten fingernails pained me. "I would have said the same thing," I told him.
"Well," said Jake. "Week or two passes, month or two passes, I get to thinking. I hadn't seen her in all that time and was starting to notice she was missing. Pictures would pop into my mind. Them perky little bandannas she wore.