And the bank? Pooley moaned pitifully. They had taken the entire thing for granted, as if he had been merely bunging in a couple of quid out of his wages. It was almost as if they had been expecting him. Through the bullet-proof glass of the office Pooley had seen the manager sitting at his desk, a pair of minuscule headphones clasped about his ears, nodding his head and popping his fingers.
And as for this, Pooley held up his right hand and examined the palm. The bank had refused to give him either a receipt or a cheque-book. With unveiled condescension they had explained that such methods of personal finance were now obsolete and that for security’s sake they must insist upon the new personalized identification system. They had then stamped his right palm with a pattern of eighteen little computer lines in three rows of six. Six six six. Pooley spat on to his palm and rubbed away at the marking; it would not budge. He eased up on the moaning and groaning and took to a bit of soulful sighing. He had become involved in something which was very much bigger than he was. He really should have listened to Professor Slocombe and torn up the slip.
A sudden screeching of white-walled tyres upon tarmac announced the arrival of Antoine with Pooley’s new car. Jim distantly recalled a deal he had struck the night before.
“Your carriage awaits,” said the chauffeur of fortune, springing from the automobile and holding open the door.
Jim was entranced. The car, a silver-grey Morris Minor, although of a model some fifteen years out of date, had all the makings of one fresh from the showroom. “Where did you get it?” he asked, rising from his gloom and strolling over to the automotive gem.
“Purchased with the money you advanced, sir,” Antoine replied politely. “Has a few tricks under the hood.”
Pooley circled the car approvingly and ran his unsoiled hand along the spanking paintwork. “Big Boda,” said he. “It’s a corker.”
“And what about the number plates?” Antoine indicated the same, JP 1.
“Double Boda,” said Jim Pooley.
“Would sir care to be taken for a spin?”
“Absolutely.” Jim clapped his hands together and chuckled. Maybe this being wealthy did have its compensations after all. Antoine swung forward the driver’s seat and Jim clambered aboard. The chauffeur sat himself down before the wheel and closed the door. “What is all that?” Pooley asked, spying out the Morris’ dashboard; it was far from conventional.
“Customized,” said Antoine. “By Lateinos and Romiith, who bought out the old Morris patent. This car will do nought to sixty in three point four seconds. It has weather-eye air-conditioning, fuel consumption down to near zero by merit of its improved plasma-drive system. Are you acquainted with quantum mechanics?”
“I get by,” said Jim.
“Solar pod power-retention headlights, underpinned macro-pleasure full-glide suspension. Sub-lift non-drift gravitational thrust plates…”
“Drive please,” said Jim, “I will tell you when to stop.”
“Where to, sir?” Antoine put the preposterous vehicle into instant overdrive and tore it away at Mach ten.
Pooley slewed back in his seat, cheeks drawn up towards his ears, his face suddenly resembling the now legendary Gwynplaine, of Victor Hugo’s Man who Laughs. “Steady on,” winced Jim.
“Gravitational acclimatization auxiliary forward modifications engaged.” Antoine touched a lighted sensor on the dash and Pooley slumped forward. “A quick tour of the parish, taking in the more desirable residences on the ‘For Sale’ list, would it be, sir?”
“Come again?”
“My previous employers always liked the grand tour.”
“I thought you worked for Bob?”
“Only at lunch times, I am a freelance.”
“Very commendable.”
The car screamed into Mafeking Avenue on two wheels, narrowly avoiding Old Pete, who raised two eloquent fingers towards its receding rear end.
“How many clients have you then?”
“Only you,” said Antoine. “I have attended to all those who came by the big payouts. One after another.”
The Morris roared past the Memorial Park, gathering speed.
“One after another. How many have come up recently then?”
“Twenty-five, although they were never in your league.” The chauffeur cleared his throat with a curiously mechanical coughing sound.
Pooley scratched at his head. He had heard of no recent big winners hereabouts. Jim suddenly smelt the great-grandaddy of all big rats. “Stop the car,” he demanded.
Antoine crouched low over the computerized controls, his toe edged nearer to the floor, and the modified family saloon performed another impossible feat of acceleration.
“Stop this car!” shouted Jim. “There is a stitch-up here and I’ll have no part of it.”
“Stitch-up?” leered Antoine. Pooley could just make out his face reflected in the driving mirror. It was not a face Jim would wish to recall in his dreams. The chauffeur’s normally amiable visage had become contorted into a death-mask of inhuman cruelty. The eyes glowed between hooded slits, the mouth was drawn down, exposing a row of wicked metallic-looking teeth. The face was no longer human, it was atavistic, something beyond and before humanity, compelling and vibrant with dark evil power. The flying Morris cannoned through the short cobbled alleyway between the Police Station and the Beehive and swerved right through the red lights and out into the High Road. It should surely have been forced to a standstill amidst the hubbub of mid-morning traffic, but to Pooley’s increasing horror the High Street was empty, the pavements deserted.
“Stop, I say!” screamed Jim. “I will pay you anything you want, name the sum.” Antoine laughed hideously, the sounds issuing from his throat being those of sharp stones rattled in a tin can. Pooley shook his brain into gear; “knobble the mad driver’, it told him. Climbing forward, Jim lashed out towards the driver’s neck. “AAAAAGH!” went Pooley, as his lunging fingers piled into a barrier of empty air, splintering nails, and dislocating thumbs.
“Safety-shield anti-whiplash modification,” sneered the demonic driver as Pooley sank back into his seat, his wounded hands jammed beneath his armpits. The car swung into a side-road Jim did not clearly remember and thundered on towards… Jim suddenly stiffened in his seat… towards the rim of the old quarry. Jim recalled that place well enough, he used to go ferreting there when a lad. The walls were fifty-foot sheer to a man. He was heading for an appointment with none other than good old Nemesis himself. Now was the time to do some pretty nifty fast thinking. Pooley thrust his brain into overdrive. Accelerating Morris, mad driver, two doors only, invisible force-field before. No sun-roof and Nemesis five hundred yards distant. Jim chewed upon his lip, worry beads of perspiration upon his brow. No way out before, above, but possibly…