"I'm sorry," Klairon almost whispered as he struggled to keep his expression controlled.
"You're sorry? You're not as sorry as the people who'll be dying on In Brim."
"Oh, yes I am, sir. Before I was born, my life was dedicated to the preservation of life. It's written in my genes. I am a channel; more, I am QN-1. My parents knew it before I was born,and a great deal has been invested in me to make me what I am, a guardian and an example of the Sime dedication to our Principles of Action. Nothing can come before that." He leaned forward animated with penetrating sincerity.
"Should all of us here on this ship die; should a whole world perish, still it would be valued nothing compared to the Sime-Gen union. The strength of that union is trust, and the strength of that trust is the certainty that we," he spaced his words with emphasis, "... will ... never ... infringe any of our Principles. Death is so trivial compared to those Principles."
"O.K., you've said that before ... so what aspect of the Principles is involved here?"
Klairon rose to pace about the couch, feeling hunted. "Truthfully, sir, I can say no more."
"You've said that before, too." Welch studied his hands. "All right, don't say anything else. Let's see if I can guess.It has to do with 'live' transfer, it's not up to you, and it involves your Principles of Action. Considering our conversation on Terwhoolie, to me that spells TN-1.
"Somewhere on this ship, there's a TN-1 ripe for transfer, but for some reason you won't go to him, you have to wait for him . . or her? ... to come to you?"
Slowly, as if the slightest jar would break his self-control, Klairon sat down on his bunk, unable to disguise his anguish.
Welch smiled triumphantly. "I see I'm on the right track. Come on, you may as well tell me the rest ... or would you prefer me to ask the TN-1 when I find him?"
"You can't do that!"
"Oh, yes, I can."
"You wouldn't."
"I must certainly would. Why not?"
"Because it's unethi ..."
"Not for me, it isn't. You're not thinking too clearly."
"Then, it's up to me to protect him."
Welch seized on that. "See, you've just admitted it! Now your silence is certainly not going to protect him. Protect him from what and why?"
"From people like you who'd exert pressure. And I can protect him." Klairon's eyes narrowed, his lips trembled with earnestness. "I swear to you here and now, as He who created all is my witness, I will accept no TN-1 unless he comes to me wholly and completely of his own free will. On that point, I can never be deceived."
Welch was completely taken aback by the fervor of that oath. It was a full minute before he asked, "So, why should he need to be pressured? As I understand it, the TN-1 is as much attracted to the QN-1 in need as the QN-1 is drawn to the TN-1.That's what makes the TN-1 different from the other technical class Donors."
"That's why the Inhibitor was developed." Klairon bit his tongue in frustration. Welch was baiting him, and the drug was fuzzing his thinking so much that he blurted retorts without regard for the consequences.
"The Inhibitor! Ah, yes, I've heard about that. It's a long series of treatments to reduce the TN-1's selyn production rate. But it doesn't always work, does it? That's why people are cautioned so many times and required to wait so long before taking the technical class training. Once in, you may not be able to get out. And we've got one on this ship who wanted out and didn't make it? And your Principles won't let you approach that person for any reason.
"Hmmm ... it could only be one of three people. Miss Wyat, Dr. Thorson ..."
"Or a stowaway."
"What? Stowaway? Never thought of that. Well, four, then.Miss Wyat, Dr. Thorson, Talbert, or a stowaway. Personally, I think a stowaway is impossible. Cobb would have noted the weight. Besides, port security hasn't been breached in years."
Klairon cocked his head to one side and blinked, "Talbert?"
"Lowell Talbert, the new Second Assistant Engineer ..."
"New Second Assistant Engineer!? Why wasn't I told we had a new crew member!" Had it not been for the drug, he would have shouted, but only his eyes flashed indignation.
Welch's eyebrows climbed in surprise. "Well, for one thing,you're not the Captain of this ship, and for another, Rallins resigned after you hot-footed off when we set down on Terwhoolie. It was no loss, he was a sour note, clashed with everybody, including Pete, who can get along with any being. We snagged a replacement with great difficulty at the last minute, as usual.
"I've had to hunt a new second for Lieman practically every third port for the last two years, and this time, you must admit, things were a bit rushed. If you cared that much you could have checked when you signed on ..."
Klairon waited, thunderstruck. The only one of his routines he'd overlooked. They'd just signed Rallins; he hadn't expected to lose him so soon. But the crew of the Pebble Beach wasan odd group as deep spacemen went, and it was hard to fill vacancies.
Welch considered, "Maybe it is a stowaway . . or Miss Wyat or Dr. Thorson?"
"It's not Miss Wyat or Dr. Thorson," Klairon had completely given up, "and now, I'm sure it's not a stowaway. That explains everything; how it was always worse in the dining commons than on the bridge, how it would ebb and flow from time to time as Talbert would go from I to L decks, but always steadily worse as the Inhibitor began to fail, and then suddenly ..." he broke off, unable to even think about that sensation. With a failing Inhibitor, the selyn field soars to two and a half times the TN-1's natural maximum.
Then Klairon frowned deeply. "Didn't anyone tell him about me?"
"Why ... I don't recall ... he didn't sign on as TN-1 ...as I remember the law requires that ..."
"Not of an Inhibited. Nor is he required to wear the identifying ring."
"If he had signed TN-1, it would certainly have come up, but since he didn't ... perhaps nobody's mentioned your status."
Klairon's right eyebrow went up as his left went down. "Not even when explaining that we intended to infringe a very important rule?"
"Since everybody knows you, perhaps it wasn't mentioned. I really can't be too sure. As I remember, he agreed readily, without asking questions. I thought that strange at the time, but a TN-1 would have that sort of confidence."
Klairon groaned, "The advantages of being taken for granted." He shook his head. "If I'd known we'd signed an Inhibited, I'd never have spaced out, not even under the best circumstances. And if he'd known I was QN-1, he'd never have signed on. Mere proximity can induce Inhibitor failure."
"We had no choice. Both of you were the only talent available, even the ASN installation was barren because, with their budget, they generally depend on contracted transport. Believe me, I scoured the planet."
"Captain," he met Welch's eyes, "do I have your promise that if it is Talbert ... and I'm not certain it is, since I haven't been anywhere near him ... that you won't pressure him? That is, use your talents of persuasion?"
Welch started to shake his head. Klairon continued.
"You realize that this TN-1, whoever it is, is fighting the same battle I am. He's going against all his instincts, and losing. He must have a very strong, personal reason. Until his personal conflict is resolved, he's no good to me. So there's nothing that you or anyone else can say that would help. The opposite, in fact, you'd only distract him from solving his problem."
"Oh, all right. I'll bring no personal pressure to bear." Welch's tone was grudging but he'd honor his promise.