Chapter 12
The light of dawn gave off its first orange-pink glow through the jungle mist. Contrasting sharply with the serenity of the scene was Lewis, wide awake and chipper, strolling about the camp with a bounce to his step, shaking tents with his muscular arms. “Up, up,” he shouted, “Come on everybody, we have a big day ahead of us.”
Tents unzipped, bleary-eyed heads poked out, and stiff bodies stepped out into the Indonesian dawn, yawning and stretching.
Lewis continued in the same cheery tone, “I have been up for a half an hour, and I’ve already seen twenty species of plants that I didn’t recognize.”
Dr. Stern yawned, causing the frown lines around his mouth to momentarily deepen. “OK, so what? You didn’t recognize them. Since you don’t do any research or study, how would you expect to?”
“Just look around you!”
Dr. Stern glanced at the dense foliage all around them. The plants did all look strange, almost like something out of prehistory, with unusually shaped flowers and gigantic leaves. He blinked a couple of times, refusing to believe his sleepy eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just no good without my morning dose of caffeine.”
Lewis handed Dr. Stern some bright red berries. “Chew on these.”
Dr. Stern looked the berries over, studying them carefully. Unable to recognize the species they belonged to he asked, “What are they?”
Lewis replied cheerfully, “I don’t know but they are growing all over. They seem to be a close relative of the coffee bean. I’ve been chewing them all morning and I feel great!”
Dr. Stern’s jaw dropped in shock. He stammered and then said, “You mean to tell me that you have been eating berries from an unidentified plant? I mean, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”
“Oh come on Dr. Stern, where’s your sense of adventure? Trust me. I’m a nutritionist. Come on. Put one in your mouth and chew on it.”
Dr. Stern mulled the berries over with a look of intense worry on his brow, trying to determine just how poisonous they were and how much longer Lewis Dare had to live.
Clare stepped forward, said, “Oh my God you are such a baby," took some berries from her father’s hand, tossed them into her mouth, chewed them, and swallowed.
Dr. Stern watched Clare with horror, as if she could keel over and die at any instant.
Just then a screech came from a great distance in the sky where the orange-pink of dawn met the grayness of vanishing night. Lewis looked up and everybody followed his gaze. In the sky, very far in the distance, a few black dots circled around each other. Lewis turned to the fat intern. “Intern, get me my field glasses.”
The intern went to a pack and quickly returned with a pair of binoculars. Lewis put them up to his eyes, saw two giant bats soaring around each other, and said, “They must be ahool.”
Dr. Stern asked, “Ahool?”
Lewis said, “Ahool. Giant bats with ten foot long wingspans.”
Dr. Stern rolled his eyes and smirked. “Oh, well that’s reasonable.”
Lewis, visibly annoyed, shoved the binoculars into Dr. Stern’s hands. “Take a look for yourself.”
Dr. Stern put the binoculars up to his eyes and looked up while everyone else looked up at the black specks in the orange, pink, and gray sky.
Looking through the binoculars, Dr. Stern said “Those are just regular bats returning to their cave because the sun is coming up and they are nocturnal. The reason they appeared to you to be giant is… get this… your mind is going to be blown… because you were looking at them through binoculars and binoculars make everything appear to be giant.”
Lewis shouted, “That’s ridiculous. This is the last time I hire a PhD to verify my findings. You people are so cynical and close-minded that you can’t do your jobs. Imagine paying somebody all this money because they have the required educational background to do something but then their education makes it impossible for them to do it. It’s no wonder college grads can’t get work. Everybody prefers to hire people whose minds haven’t been ruined by fucking universities!”
Dr. Stern replied stiffly, “I am sorry that my education makes it impossible for me to say ridiculous things that aren’t true like that those bats up there have ten-foot-long wingspans.”
Lewis grabbed the binoculars back from Dr. Stern and put them to his eyes, but as he did, the specks disappeared into the distance as the sun climbed into view and its orange-pink hues turned to blinding yellow, clearing the mist away and turning the sky a stunning blue.
Lewis put the binoculars down, turned to the group, and said, “All right, attention everybody! I have located the trail from yesterday. Our plan for this morning is to eat and then...”
The tall skinny intern, who had been staring past Lewis, suddenly bolted off into the jungle. Lewis called out, “Intern! Hey, intern!" But the intern kept running and disappeared from view. Everybody looked at one another, not knowing what to do. Lewis exclaimed, “Everybody, after him," and everybody took off running.
They found the intern a few moments later lying face-down in a pool of mud in a rocky clearing. Lewis put his large hands on his hips and shouted “You had better have a very good explanation for this!”
The intern sat up. Mud dripped from his entire body. He shook the mud from his hands and then used them to wipe the mud from his face and said, “I saw an ebu gogo.”
Dr. Stern let out a single hollow laugh. “First the ahool, now the ebu gogo! That’s two cryptids discovered in five minutes. This must be a record.”
Lewis, ignoring Dr. Stern, asked the intern, “What did it look like?”
“Like a really small person covered in orange fur.”
“Where did it go?”
“I don’t know. I dove after it, but I missed and landed in this puddle.”
Lewis turned to the rest of the group and said, “Quick! Everyone fan out and find it! Come on. Move!”
But nobody moved. Dr. Stern said, “If you are going to split us up, we should at least all carry walkie-talkies.”
Lewis cried, “We don’t have time for this,” turned to the fat intern, and said, “Intern, get out the walkie-talkies. Hurry! We are losing valuable time.”
As the fat intern rummaged through his pack, Lewis watched him impatiently and said, “Hurry up!!! We don’t have all day. Do you want me to pass you, or fail you?”
The fat intern looked up from his pack and said, “Uh-oh.”
Lewis gave the intern an impatient, questioning look. When the intern didn’t respond, Lewis asked, “What?”
The intern looked away sheepishly and said, “I think I left the walkie-talkies on your jet.”
Lewis was unbothered by this news. He said, “Then we have to be especially careful to remain in groups. Interns, I want you to stick together. Clare will go with me. Jack, you go with Dr. Stern. Search low lying brush, small caves, and anywhere else a really small person covered in orange fur might hide. We will meet back here in forty-five minutes to an hour.”
Jack skipped up to Dr. Stern and said, “Oh Mr. Stern, I am so happy to be going with you!”
Dr. Stern said rather stiffly, “It’s Dr. Stern, not Mr.”
Jack said, “Oh, it’s OK. I like to be informal so I don’t mind calling you Mr.” Then, Jack looked at the ground demurely, looked back up at Dr. Stern smiling shyly, and said, “Can I just say though that although I’m not gay, I think you are very handsome?”
Then, Jack gave Dr. Stern a big hug.
Dr. Stern carefully freed himself from Jack’s embrace, turned to Lewis, and said, “Uh, Mr. Dare, why don’t I go with Clare? And then Jack can go with you.”