“Don’t be angry with him for keeping the secret from you,” she said softly, her eyes hesitating to meet mine.
“You knew too?” I asked, my voice slightly accusing.
“No, but Avian told me after you came back. How are you handling that information?”
“The fact that I’m a robotic-human hybrid?” I said sarcastically. “Just great.”
“I’m serious, Eve.”
I didn’t say anything for a second as I looked down at my weathered hands. “I’m trying not to think about it too much. The fact that my shoulder has already healed up isn’t helping that much though.”
“He said you were hurt pretty badly.”
“You should see the scar,” I joked half-heartedly. “I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t even know it was there until West told me.”
I felt it before I even saw the sly grin that crept onto Sarah’s face. “Running off to the city with the new man in Eden, huh? Never would have pegged you for that type.”
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling appalled. “What are you talking about? He just… came with me.”
“And you had no desire to get a little close and cozy along the way with a face and body like that?”
“I’m going to go now,” I said as I suddenly stood. “Take it easy.”
Sarah just chuckled as I stepped outside.
I shook my head as I started back for my tent. What was wrong with people? All anyone could seem to think about lately was holding hands, unexpected kisses, and getting ‘close and cozy’. We were in the middle of our struggle for survival. There wasn’t time for things like that.
Evening settled and the camp started to grow quiet. The stars seemed more intense than usual as they reflected off the surface of the lake. It looked like it could swallow everything up in the vastness of space.
I had tried to insist on taking the night guard but apparently Bill had already beaten me to it. A new watch tower had been erected and everything was nearly back to business as usual. With nothing else to do, I found myself around the fire with Avian and Sarah. Recalling Sarah’s comments earlier and my new resolve to not be distracted by anything or anyone, I had sat as far away from Avian as I could.
“Is Victoria alright?” Sarah asked as she pulled her blanket tighter around her shrinking frame.
“It’s just a small infection. It just needed a little cleaning out.”
I heard someone approach from behind me and turned to see West hesitantly approaching. “Do you mind if I join you?” he asked to no one in particular.
Avian just gave a nod.
With little elsewhere to sit, he sat just to the right of me. He was close enough I could smell the earthy scent of him.
“Have they seen any more signs of the Hunter?” Sarah asked. I was grateful for her insight and tactic to keep awkward silences away.
I shook my head. “Not since we left our last site.”
“Maybe they’re giving up,” she said as she stared into the flames.
“I doubt that,” Avian said as he stared at the fire.
“Will they ever?”
No one said anything for a moment. That was what we had all wondered for the last five years.
“It’s something in their engineering,” West suddenly spoke. “The infection craves more human flesh. It was designed to spread. It’s trying to reproduce more.”
“That’s why the Hunters keep looking,” Avian said, neither a statement nor a question exactly.
West nodded. “It’s looking to assimilate more.”
“What happens when there’s nothing left to assimilate?” I asked, feeling sick as I thought about what my question implied. That humanity would finally succumb.
“There would be no more Hunters,” Avian answered, his eyes staring into the fire as the wheels turned in his head.
“And then what?” I said, my brow furrowing. “What will happen then?”
“Whatever they’re standing and waiting around for,” West said in a low voice. That statement hung in the air over our heads like a dark cloud. No one said it but we all wondered, what are they waiting for?
“There’s got to be a way to stop them,” Sarah said as she shook her head, again killing the silence. “Like making a large CDU. Why haven’t we done that, Avian?”
“We don’t have the resources,” he said as he too shook his head. I knew he’d thought about this idea before. We all had. “Everything we need is in the city. And we can’t just take it and bring it back here. We’d need massive amounts of electricity to make it work. And besides, none of us know how exactly the CDU even works, how it’s engineered. It’s some very complex technology.”
West shifted his position. His eyes flickered from Avian’s face, to mine, and back to Avian’s. I wondered what he was thinking. He remained quiet though.
“So basically, we’re all just waiting around to be infected,” Sarah said, her voice falling. “As long as there are still people out there, the Hunters will keep coming.”
“And we’ll keep fighting,” I said harshly, my tone coming out more sharply than I thought it would. “We’ll never give up.”
Sarah looked at me with cold eyes that surprised me. Without her even saying it, I knew what she was thinking. I didn’t have to worry about being infected. I was already immune by being part of them.
“Maybe we should all get some rest,” Avian said, feeling the tension that was building around the fire.
Without saying anything, Sarah stood and walked back inside the tent.
“Good-night,” Avian said as he gave me a small smile and then gave West a nod.
I stood, pushing my hands into my pockets as I stared into the fire. West stood too, and together we slowly walked away from Avian and Sarah’s tent.
The way West had shifted uncomfortably when the topic of creating a device to short out the Fallen stood out to me. He knew something he wasn’t sharing. I wasn’t going to pry it out of him just yet. Maybe he just needed a while to think about it before he would divulge what he knew. I wouldn’t wait too long though before I pressed.
“I want to look through the notebook,” I suddenly blurted out and stopped walking. West stopped walking too and I stood watching his back, my hands still pushed into my pockets against the cold.
He didn’t say anything for a while as he stood with his back to me. I could almost see the gears in his head turning as he considered my request and what it would mean.
Slowly he turned and took three steps toward me to close the gap. He stared into my eyes, intensity burning in his own. He reached his right hand into his jacket and pulled the tattered notebook out.
“Only read the parts that are in the middle,” he said, keeping his voice quiet. “Those are the pages about you. And don’t lose it. If you do…” he squeezed his eyes closed, his lips forming a thin line as he considered the horrifying possibility.
“I won’t,” I promised as I went to take it. West opened his eyes, holding on for another heavy moment before finally letting go.
“Good-night, West,” I said as I stared back into his eyes.
“Good-night, Eve,” he whispered. He brought a hand up to my cheek, softly brushing his thumb over it. It only lasted a moment, however, before he stepped away and ducked into his tent.
Armed with the answers to my past, with the keys to what made me what I was, I returned to my own.
ELEVEN
The ceiling seemed to flash images before my eyes as I lay awake in the dark. The notebook lay on my chest, my fingers clenching it tightly. I hadn’t been able to will myself to open it. All the things I couldn’t remember, all the dreams that haunted me, the answers were all inside and I couldn’t make myself look at them.