“I didn’t really pass out, did I?”
“I didn’t see it,” he finally said. “West walked you back to the group but you weren’t there. Your eyes were totally blank and you wouldn’t respond. He said you two had been talking when you suddenly just… froze up.”
“Froze up?” I asked. Even as I did, I knew what he was talking about. The way I had blanked and then tripped the day before. The way I had felt like I was suddenly gone when I had nearly choked West.
“You weren’t there for a while,” Avian said, his voice cool. “It was like you were empty all of the sudden. Hollow.”
I swallowed hard, not because of the dryness or the heat this time. “Am I going to turn into one of them?” my voice sounded hoarse.
“I think if you were going to you would have already,” Avian said, his voice suddenly tight. “There’s been plenty of time for you to change, plenty of opportunity for you to be infected. I think this is something different.”
“What then?”
“I don’t know.”
The things that Avian didn’t know frightened me.
TWENTY-SEVEN
As pressure built in the air I felt uneasy. It reminded me of the night the Hunters had burned the gardens, the night our lives had been changed so drastically. The stars disappeared, plunging the night into a darkness I had never known. It was unnerving, feeling so blind and yet so exposed. There was nowhere to hide out here.
We didn’t talk anymore that night. Every conversation just seemed to turn so ominous and heavy. It was almost nice to not think about reality.
One nice thing about traveling through the desert was that there were few towns that we had to skirt around. It slowed us down a great deal having to drive around a city. There was always the risk that we would find Fallen on the outskirts unless we pressed further out.
“Pull over here,” Avian said in a harsh whisper as we approached another gas station. “Kill the lights.” Tuck did as he said immediately.
Avian jumped off the trailer, his rifle held at eye level. I jumped off at the same time, my own shotgun held firmly in hand. His eyes never left the glass front of the store as he stalked slowly towards it. I released my safety, gauging how many extra shells I had in my pocket that I could easily grab if needed.
“There’s two of them inside,” Avian whispered. At the same time he said that, I caught sight of the gleam that came off their metallic parts. Their eyes stared back out at us, empty orbs.
“Should we go to a different gas station?” I breathed.
Avian shook his head. “We most likely wouldn’t make it to another.”
“Together?” I said quietly.
“On my count,” Avian breathed. “Three… two… one.”
The glass exploded into a billion stars, followed by screams from those who were sleeping unsuspecting on the trailer. The next second, the two Fallen had leapt through the remains of the glass, barreling straight towards us.
Countless shots were fired but only one of the two dropped. By the time I had realized what had happened it was too late to fire again. My magazine was emptied.
“No!” I screamed as I sprinted toward the Fallen who was barreling straight at Avian. “Get away from him!” I leapt between the two of them, slamming my body into the Fallen.
We hit the ground in a tangled mess of arms, each trying to destroy the other. It’s steel cold hand wrapped around my throat, cutting off my air supply.
“Dis… dis…” I gasped for air. “Disengage!” I screamed out. It stopped moving immediately.
I clawed its hand away from my throat, realizing then that as I had jumped to get between the Fallen and Avian my handgun had fallen out of its holster. My hands beat at the frame that covered its neck and lower face, exposing the gears and wire beneath. I lost it then, ripping and shredding everything I could get my fingers around. I didn’t even care as the volts of electricity the infected body produced shocked me over and over again.
I sat back, straddling the now still body, my breaths coming in shaking, gasping swallows. I glanced back over at Avian only to see him surrounded by the rest of the group. Their faces were a mix of shock, awe, and fear.
Now they all finally knew my secret.
I looked back down at the Fallen, my hand rising to my throat, and took a hard swallow. In its blank eyes, I saw everything I hated about myself. All the things that were wrong with me, all the things I couldn’t remember but knew the truth about. I spit in its face and stood to walk back to the others.
“Let’s gas up and get going,” I said, unable to look anyone in the eye. Especially Avian. My emotions were pulled in two directions as I analyzed what he had just done. He’d been willing to sacrifice himself to keep the Fallen off of me. Even though he knew I didn’t need protection.
No one said anything as Tuck and Avian pulled the truck around to the hand pump and filled it. They all got back on the trailer but I felt their eyes on me as I stood at one corner of the building, pretending to be watching the perimeter, even though I couldn’t see much of anything.
“Are you okay?” West asked quietly from behind me.
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice rough.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
“I’m fine!” I said harshly, turning to glare at him. I looked at his defensive face, anger suddenly filling me. “You lied to me again.”
“Lied?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
“I didn’t pass out earlier. Avian told me,” I said quietly, my eyes glancing over to him. “It was like I was suddenly one of them, wasn’t it?”
West swallowed hard, his eyes guarded as he looked back at me. “It was the same way you looked when you tried to choke me.”
I stared back at him, my insides a running, stumbling mess. “And why does it only seem to happen when I’m around you?”
West just looked back at me, hurt showing in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, just turned and walked back to the group.
Avian left a message and a cairn at the gas station, warning the second group to take extra caution. I just hoped Bill and Graye kept a wary eye out. They were tough and smart but they could still be infected.
No one slept the rest of that night. I knew they were all on edge after seeing the two Fallen, but I suspected it was mostly because of me. They might not have understood what I was before, but now they knew a few things for certain. One- that I should start turning at any moment, yet Avian wasn’t turning the CDU on me and didn’t seem concerned. Two- there was something different about me, that I could take being shocked like that, could kill a Fallen with my bare hands. And three- that the Fallen listened to me.
The pressure in the sky kept building, turning the air muggy and heavy. We stopped two hours after we had gassed up, hiding ourselves in a cluster of sickly looking trees. Tents were set up, five of them, as a precaution to the saturated sky.
Not five minutes after we had everything set up, the sky finally broke.
I’d never seen rain like that.
I kept the perimeter, Tuck volunteering to keep watch with me. I was soaked through almost instantly and it was difficult to see far. Small wisps of steam rose from the sunbaked ground, heat and cool being smacked together.
The world was doused in a hazy color of gray as the sun fought to break through the heavy clouds above us. The rain continued to pour, soaking us in more rain than I had ever seen fall at one time. Small streams started tracing lines in the desert, running to unseen rivers.
A few hours into my scouting Avian walked out, using a raincoat that had been smartly packed to keep his head dry. He walked over to me, giving me shelter as well, and handed me two carrots.
“I doubt we’re going to see any of them in this,” Avian said, having to speak louder than normal to talk over the noise of the rain pounding above our heads. “They don’t like the water too much.”