“Blank,” I finished for him. “Was that all?”
He nodded. “You just sat on the trailer where we placed you, staring out into nothing.”
My insides felt all twisted up as I imagined what I must have looked like. “Was everyone afraid of me?”
He didn’t answer right away. “Some of them were a little concerned. Avian kind of chewed them out for it though. He made a good point. You’ve protected everyone for the last five years, why would you turn on us now?”
“Thank you, Tuck,” I said. He just nodded and walked back toward his own tent.
Feeling only slightly better, I turned my attention to my surroundings. It was similar to our old Eden in that it was surrounded by trees. But these trees were bigger, taller, like they were older. And there was something that smelled different here. It was then that I remembered how close we were to the ocean.
I had the sudden burning desire to see it. But that would have to wait.
Around lunch time, Tess walked up to me, a wary look on her face.
“Why did you just agree to their plan?” she asked, looking uncomfortable to be talking to me. “If you’re so afraid to go so close to the city, why would you allow them to come here? You know how dangerous this is.”
I gave her a curious look. “I’m not afraid,” I said. “It’s all of them I’m worried about. I will go where ever they do to keep them from getting infected.”
“So it’s true?” she half whispered. “That you can’t be infected?”
“Yes,” I said as I swallowed hard. “I’ve been touched by Fallen, multiple times.”
“Why is that?”
I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know this woman, didn’t know if I could trust her. “I just can’t.”
“And that’s why you’re not afraid,” she said, giving me an almost harsh look, and walked back toward Van.
I didn’t like Tess very much I decided then. But at the same time, she had been right.
I couldn’t avoid them any longer. I finally sought out Avian, finding him keeping watch on our western perimeter, in the direction of the cities. I stood there, ten feet away, not even knowing what to say. The hate I felt for myself deepened as I saw the hurt there in Avian’s eyes. I wondered what West had said to Avian, and in that moment I hated West as well.
“We should get prepped to leave tonight,” Avian mercifully broke the silence. “We should get as familiar with the route as we can.”
Even though Avian spoke of plans, he didn’t move. I nodded my head, unable to do anything but stare in those infinitely blue eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I finally managed.
“I don’t blame only you,” he said as he slung his gun over his shoulder and started back towards camp. “West should understand the danger he’s putting us all in.”
We walked back to camp in silence.
We found West and Tuck and took the map back to the trailer. Setting it down, we all gathered around it. “We’re here,” Avian said, pointing to a spot next to an exact replica of the small lake. “I think we can take the truck this far,” he said has he pointed to another spot. “From there we’re going to have to walk. I’m guessing it’s about fifteen miles. Even if everything goes smooth and we don’t run into any Fallen, it’s going to take us nearly all night to get there. If we don’t find them by morning we’re going to have to find somewhere to hide for the day.”
“This is insane, Avian,” I said as I shook my head. “There are going to be so many of them. This is like sticking your hand into the middle of a beehive.”
“But if the people that are hiding in the city have put other messages out there, they must watch for others,” West said. “Maybe they have some form of transportation they can take to scout.”
“An electric vehicle would be virtually silent,” Tuck said as he studied the map. “If they have electricity and can power one, they’re around. They aren’t as fast as a normal car but it should be fast enough to outrun a Fallen.”
“That may be,” Avian said. “But we can’t count on that. Everyone we’re leaving behind has to know that we may be gone more than just tonight. We may be gone for a while.”
“And how long do they wait till they have to assume we’re dead?” I said harshly. “Then what do they do?”
“Survive,” Avian said as he glared at me. “As they’ve been doing for the last five years.”
“There’s one problem, when, or if, we get to these other people,” West said as he rested his hands on the trailer. “If they’re smart they test any newcomers, just to make sure they’re not Fallen. If they test Eve it’s going to kill her.”
“That’s a good point,” said Tuck, his eyebrows rising slightly.
“I’ll deal with it when we get there,” I said, shrugging that possibility off. I was still only about ten percent sure we would find anyone alive. “Did you want to talk about anything else?”
Avian shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think we’re set, as long as we are all ready to leave tonight.”
We each nodded our heads that we were. “Have any of you slept yet?” I asked them. Their pause told me they hadn’t. “I’ll keep watch since I’ve been sleeping for the last however many hours. Or whatever it was that I was doing.”
West gave me a little half smile. Avian glared at him. They disbursed to their tents.
Everyone must have been tired after being up half the night. A lot of that was probably my fault. It felt like a ghost camp, with only myself and Eli outside of our tents. He kept himself busy whittling at a piece of wood.
I walked back over to the truck, fighting the war that was raging inside of me. Actually there was more than one. Eager for a distraction, I set to unloading the rest of the supplies from the back of the truck.
It was then that I realized the amount of food we had left was only going to last us another month, at the best. We had left as much as we could with those back in Eden. It was precautionary, in case more of us were to be lost on this dangerous first journey, and their truck had a bigger bed. But unless they got here soon we were going to have to either attempt a raid or start hunting.
It was a relief though, to know we had an unlimited supply of water with the lake. We had already used one of the big blue barrels and had emptied all the smaller containers. On the third day in the desert, we discovered a very slow leak in the second barrel. We could all be grateful for nature and that we wouldn’t die of dehydration.
Even though we were further south, the air felt cooler here. The peak of summer had passed and fall would be coming in the arriving weeks. I thought longingly of the harvest that would have been ready soon. The garden would have been overflowing with fresh vegetables, the fruit trees heavy with their crop.
I wondered then if we would ever have a garden again. I wasn’t so sure it would ever be safe to set down roots like that again.
But it was hard to imagine we could survive with a good quality of life without one.
People started waking back up around dinner time and those who knew what to do with food prepared it for those who were lacking that know-how. As we finished eating, Avian told them our plans, told them not to expect us to return sooner than a week or so. As he said the words, I felt like a deserter. These were my people and I had to protect them at all costs. Now I was leaving them for who knew how long. Maybe forever.
We asked for a volunteer and Morgan and Eli accepted the task of being in charge of making sure things were run well. Weapons were redistributed and most everyone was educated on how to use them. They seemed so defenseless without our usual scouts.
But they’d survived this long, they knew how to take care of themselves.
The four of us loaded our minimal supplies and the majority of the weaponry into the back of the truck. We unhooked the trailer, every one of us grateful that it had held it together for this long. With quick good-bye’s, we headed directly south.