“There was another man involved,” Dr. Beeson continued quickly. “I didn’t know him, he didn’t work with us but your mother wasn’t sure who the father really was. But there is a fifty percent chance that Dr. Evans is not your father,” he said as he rubbed circles into my back. It wasn’t comforting. “I’m sorry to be the one who has to tell you this. I just thought that enough secrets have been kept from you, it wasn’t fair that there was one more.”
“He… West…” I gasped. “Could be my… brother.”
“It was very public, that your mother and Dr. Evans had had an affair. His wife found out and basically announced it to the whole building in her rage. Your mother had to come in to work every day, baring the shame of what she had done.”
I continued to take gasping breaths, my head spinning. No, no, it couldn’t be true.
“Your mother had no family, no real friends. Her work was her life. She gave birth at the facility. Dr. Evans delivered the baby himself. Your mother, she didn’t make it. There were complications.
“We weren’t sure what to do with you. There was no family to send you to and we all knew what foster care was like. It was the senior Dr. Evans that decided that you would be raised at the facility. It was as you neared your first birthday that we realized what his real plans were for you all along.”
I wondered if this was what shock felt like. I remembered Avian talking about it once. I wanted to tell Dr. Beeson to stop talking. But I had to know. I had to understand where I had come from.
“The younger Dr. Evans had a paternity test done, to see if he really was the father. His wife had just had a baby around the time of your conception. He’d been left with West almost as soon as he was born. Now he might have two babies on his already busy hands.
“He kept the results to himself. None of us knew if the toddler we were experimenting on was his. Everyone lost a lot of respect for him though, after that. Even if you weren’t his, what he was allowing to be done was wrong in so many ways.”
I gulped down air, willing my vision to focus. My head still spun as I sat up and tried to focus on Dr. Beeson’s face. I was also fighting the urge to vomit.
“We have samples of Dr. Evans DNA. We have managed to recover some things from the old facility,” he said very quietly as he looked intently into my face. “We can easily run a test and prove or disprove Dr. Evans was your father. Would you like me to do that?”
I could only look at him for a long time. I would have no doubts if he ran the test. I always craved the truth, especially after all the lies I had uncovered. But what if West really was my brother? Would it be better to not ever really know?
My instincts took over as I nodded my head.
“Alright. Do you think you can walk down the hall with me?” he spoke very slowly. I stood and followed him on shaking legs.
We walked into a small room, filled with beeping equipment and flashing lights. It was the epitome of a lab.
Dr. Beeson fussed at a drawer, pulling out items and snapping on a pair of gloves. “Make a fist,” he instructed. Mindlessly, I obeyed. I didn’t even feel it as he tied a rubber band around my arm and sank the needle into the crease at my elbow. He filled a small vile with my blood. He pulled the needle out and capped the vial.
“We will run this as soon as we can. Hopefully we can get the results back the day after tomorrow,” he said quietly. He watched me closely, always the observer. “I really am sorry to drop this on you.”
“He doesn’t know, does he?” I asked, my eyes fixed on a blinking red light before me.
“No, West doesn’t know about everything that happened,” he almost whispered. “I thought you should know, Eve. I know how complicated emotions can be. I just thought you needed to find out before it became a painful regret.”
“Thank you,” I whispered as I turned back to the door and stumbled out. The next thing I knew, the elevator doors were sliding open and I slumped against the wall after pressing the number two button. It dinged and I walked emptily back towards my room.
THIRTY-THREE
For an entire day I shut myself off. I stared at the wall through the dark, not allowing myself to feel anything, not thinking anything. I was empty.
It was easier to feel hollow.
I think Avian and West and maybe even Lin knocked on my door. I just locked them out with no intention of letting any of them in. I just couldn’t deal with them right now.
But eventually my survival instinct kicked in. I felt dried up and starved. I hadn’t eaten since we had left the first group of Eden in the national forest.
There were only a few people left in the dining hall when I wandered down, still in my strange green clothes. They glanced up at me, merely a look to try and remember my face. They were now all well aware of the fact that there were four newcomers.
I was handed a scoop of pears, a pile of steaming eggs and a glass of ice cold, formerly powdered milk. I sat at a table in the corner of the room, shoveling everything down so fast the real chicken eggs burned my throat. It had been years since I had had eggs from a chicken. Wolves had gotten to ours long ago.
I caught sight of Royce approaching me from across the room. He was in good shape, especially for being in his later forties I guessed. His nose was straight, his jaw sharp. He looked like a leader you would want to follow.
He sat down at the table across from me, just searching my face for a while. “Erik told me everything that happened,” he said. “Everything about what was done to you as a child. I also talked with Avian.
“I’m sorry for my behavior before,” he said uncomfortably. I had a feeling Royce wasn’t one that apologized often. “What you’ve been though is unfathomable. Avian told me what you did for the members of Eden. For his sister.”
My stomach knotted up again as he spoke of Sarah. I wanted her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay.
“We could use a soldier like you,” he said as he held my eyes steadily. “It’s getting harder and harder to keep them out, times are changing. We want to invite you, and the rest of your group to join with us. We would be honored to have all of you here.”
I just looked at him, trying to make my brain process everything. I felt so sluggish. “What did Avian say?” I asked. My voice sounded terrible.
“He hasn’t given me an answer yet. I talked with West and Tuck as well. They both liked the idea but wouldn’t give an answer without consulting with the rest of your group.”
I nodded. “My answer is the same. It’s not just my decision.”
Royce nodded. “That’s fine. I wouldn’t expect anything different. I want to show you something. All four of you.”
My chest felt tight at having to finally face West. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. But I wasn’t a child, I wasn’t going to just flop at the first sign of difficulty. I stood, returned my plate and glass, and followed Royce out into the main front room. I felt my face blanch as I saw West reading something in one corner. His eyes found mine and my stomach felt sick.
West could be my brother.
Royce indicated for him to come with us. West marked his place, set the book down and joined us.
“There are a few things I want to show you,” Royce repeated to West. We spotted Tuck across the room as well, talking to a woman. He joined us.
As we walked down the hall to the medical wing, West couldn’t hold back the question anymore. “Are you okay? I’ve been pretty worried about you.”
I shook my head, feeling freezing cold as I did. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. I looked like a skeleton walking, my skin pale white, my hair hanging loose and limp, my body too thin.