Andrew climbs down the ladder.
The bear climbs down the ladder.
They climb together.
They are climbing.
The bear kicks Andrew’s head.
“Was that your head?” the bear says.
Andrew doesn’t say anything.
“Andrew,” the bear says. “Was that your head?”
“Stop talking.”
“What was it?” the bear says.
“A laptop computer.”
They keep climbing down.
“Where’s your sledgehammer?” Andrew says.
“Sledgehammer,” the bear says. “What are you talking about?”
It gets colder.
The bear makes noises like, “Hrr. Hrr.”
“Not all bears are the same bear,” the bear says.
They climb some more and reach a corridor.
Andrew picks up the blanket.
They walk through the corridor.
There is a nook in the corridor.
A moose is lying in the nook.
The moose’s eyes are open.
The bear takes the blanket from Andrew.
The bear tells Andrew to keep walking.
“A moose,” Andrew says.
“Keep walking,” the bear says.
Andrew keeps walking and reaches a cliff.
Below the cliff is a city of dolphins and bears. Sometimes there is a very tall statue of the current president of the United States. Andrew recognizes the president’s face.
The bear stands next to Andrew.
“Hrr, hrr,” the bear says.
“You’re cold,” Andrew says.
“It’s a cold and lonely world,” the bear says.
“Just kidding,” the bear says. “Sort of.”
“I’m going to sit,” Andrew says.
Andrew sits. A dolphin comes from the corridor. Andrew stands. The dolphin has a sledgehammer. Andrew looks at the sledgehammer; the dolphin slaps Andrew’s face. More dolphins come from the corridor. The cliff is crowded. More dolphins come; a dolphin is crowded off the cliff; as it falls it goes, “EEEEE EEE EEEE!” Andrew laughs a little. Two more dolphins fall and the cliff is not as crowded anymore. The dolphin with the sledgehammer says, “Watch this.” The other dolphins look. The dolphin with the sledgehammer slaps Andrew’s face.
“Stupid,” says one of the other dolphins.
And throws a smoke bomb.
When the smoke clears there are many bears and no dolphins.
A bears throws a smoke bomb on the floor.
When the smoke clears there is one dolphin. The dolphin slaps Andrew’s face, throws a smoke bomb; smoke clears and there is the first bear. Andrew looks at the bear, who is taller than Andrew.
“Are you okay?” the bear says.
Andrew touches his cheek.
It’s swollen.
“Are you okay?” the bear says.
“I’m okay,” Andrew says. “Are you okay?”
The bear looks at Andrew.
The bear kneels and opens a trapdoor.
There is another ladder.
The bear points at it.
Andrew feels bored.
“No, wait,” Andrew says.
“What,” the bear says.
“I already did that before.”
“There’s two more,” the bear says.
“I know,” Andrew says. “I already went. Uh, the squirrels.”
“Hamsters,” the bear says.
“I forgot. But I went; do you believe me. The hamsters are sad.”
“Go again,” the bear says.
“Go again.”
“Go again,” the bear says. “It’ll be fun.”
“Do you have a name?” Andrew says. “Do bears have names?”
“Andrew,” says the bear.
Andrew feels nervous. “I’m Andrew.”
“My name is Andrew,” the bear says.
“No,” Andrew says.
“Uh, yes,” the bear says.
“Oh,” Andrew says.
“Go again,” the bear says. “We’ll have fun.”
“How will it be fun?”
“We are both named Andrew,” the bear says. “I don’t know.”
“Your name isn’t Andrew,” Andrew says.
“My name is Andrew,” the bear says. “What the fuck?”
“I don’t know,” Andrew says. “I’m stupid. I feel stupid.”
“Let’s go,” the bear says.
“How will it be fun?”
The bear scratches the wall and stares at Andrew.
The bear looks at Andrew.
The bear points at the corridor they came from.
Andrew walks there and stands there.
The bear pushes Andrew a little.
Andrew walks through the corridor they came from.
He glances at the nook without moving his neck; there are two aliens standing on a moose.
The moose’s head is covered with a blanket.
Andrew keeps walking; the bear is behind him.
He makes it to where the ladder is and stands there.
“The next time I have to point I’ll also punch you in your face,” the bear says. “And eat you.”
“Do it,” Andrew says.
The bear makes a fist, slowly moves the fist to Andrew’s face, touches Andrew’s face with the knuckles, with its other hand holds the back of Andrew’s head and slowly smushes Andrew’s face into the knuckles of its hand that it had slowly moved toward then touched the front of Andrew’s face with; the hand is furry.
“Stop,” Andrew says.
The bear stops.
“Do it for real,” Andrew says.
The bear punches the air by Andrew’s head.
“Do it with good aim,” Andrew says. “And with eating. You said ‘and eat you.’ ”
The bear climbs up the ladder.
“Do it with a free laptop computer,” Andrew says. “Or I’ll kill you.”
The bear climbs down and stares at Andrew.
“There’s nothing to do,” the bear says.
“I know,” Andrew says.
The bear looks at Andrew.
“Why were there statues of the president?” Andrew says.
“Life is stupid,” the bear says.
“I hate life more than you do.”
“No,” the bear says.
“Yeah.”
“No.”
“Yeah.”
“No,” the bear says and disappears.
Andrew stands there.
Then climbs up the ladder and walks to his car.
The door and the top are back.
Andrew opens the door and the door falls on the street.
He drives out of ‘Windy Brook.’ The top of the car falls on the street. Why did Joanna become very happy after exiting the car? Don’t think about it. Start a band with Steve, if his plane doesn’t crash. Romantically pursue Joanna’s sister, Ashley, under the pretense of needing a bass player. Don’t strategize. Just get her number after fourteen days and start a band under the pretense, somehow, of a killing rampage. E-mail, phone-number, marriage. Martial arts, deer, nothingness. A band can make Andrew happy. Every song will be depressing, which will make Andrew happy. It is not impossible to be happy. One song will be about U-turns. ‘Allegorical.’ ‘Profound.’ When Steve comes back from New York City they will start a band. They’ll ‘screw around’ for two hours then feel depressed and go to Denny’s. (“Remember when my mom died?”) They’ll ‘jam’ for ten minutes and feel bored, and fucked. The word ‘jam’ embarrasses Andrew a little. ‘Screw around.’ Andrew needs to go back to Denny’s and apologize. He’ll throw a wad of cash at the doomed waitress then apologize sincerely. He will not overturn a table. He’ll blame Steve. Steve will go to jail. Use fake names. Thomas ran away, not me. I got caught up in the moment. Use clichés of language and fake names; give the cash in a manila envelope, smile contritely, apologize sincerely, use one or two clichés of language. Gotta run, don’t spend it all in one place. It’s 9 p.m. Do it tonight? Andrew is better, as a person, at night. In daylight he feels like a bad actor in an independent movie, about to go on a melodramatic killing spree.