Another buzz from the team, then Helen replied:
‘Yes, one. A young Australian called Stephanie Bines. She was working as a barmaid in Southampton. She witnessed a shooting down near the docks, opted to testify and then an attempt was made on her life. We protected her that day and the arrests we made helped send a whole gang to jail. I’ve already sent uniform to her last known address, but I want a couple of you on to it straight away. Not you, Charlie.’
Charlie sat back down as Helen nominated two other members of the team. Then Helen pulled her aside.
‘I want you to do something else for me and I want you do it as quietly and carefully as possible. Understood?’
Charlie nodded.
‘Louise Tanner was working with me the day we pulled Amy and the other kids from the wrecked bus.’
Helen hesitated briefly – was this the right move? – then carried on.
‘She didn’t… she didn’t cope too well in the aftermath. Never went back on full duty again and dropped off the radar completely a little while later. I want you to find out everything you can about where she’s been and what’s she been doing and you tell me and me alone, ok?’
‘Of course, boss. I’m already on to it.’
‘But before you go, I need to have a chat with you about something else. There’s going to be the mother of all situations here soon and I need you to help me manage it.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Mark is innocent. He didn’t sell us out.’
Charlie looked at her, eyes wide. She had destroyed his life and was wrong?
‘I know who did sell us out. And it’s going to tear this place apart. I’m going to need you by my side to keep everyone calm and focused. Corruption is one thing, but we’ve got a killer to catch. Whatever happens here, I want us to keep driving forward until the job is done. Can I rely on you?’
‘Hundred per cent.’
And Helen knew that she could. This investigation had been a nightmare and the worst was yet to come. But Charlie had proved herself during the course of their hunt and Helen was glad she would be there or thereabouts at the conclusion.
Which is why she felt so bad about deliberately misleading her now.
83
The crop sped through the air, biting into the firm female flesh as it found its target. She bucked, arching her body as she took in the pain, letting it flow through her. The inevitable sharp sting followed, then her body began to relax. She was fifteen strokes to the good already and she was beginning to tire, but still she said:
‘Again.’
Jake obliged, but knew that he should call time on their session now. It had been an enjoyable encounter – almost like old times – and if they were smart they would quit while they were ahead.
‘One more.’
Jake raised the crop with relief, bringing it home with a little more speed and strength than usual. She groaned – a satiated, happy groan. Jake found himself wondering if a change was taking place. Was she beginning to take sexual pleasure from her punishment? Many of the women he beat finished themselves off in front of him without embarrassment, brought almost to the point of orgasm by the cruel but delicious blows he administered. Would she allow herself to go there? Could he take her there?
Jake had found himself spending more and more time thinking about her. He had always been curious, but since their falling out and reconciliation, he’d found it hard to stop trying to fathom her inner workings. Why did she hate herself so much? In his mind, he’d rehearsed a dozen different ways to broach the subject, but in the end the question just popped out – surprising both of them.
‘Before you go, is there anything you want to talk about?’
She paused, regarding him curiously.
‘I mean… you know that everything that happens here is private and discreet, so if you did want to talk there’s no need to worry. What’s said here stays here.’
‘What would I talk about?’ Her response was curious but noncommittal.
‘You, I suppose.’
‘Why would I do that?’
‘Perhaps because you want to. Because you feel comfortable here. Perhaps this is the ideal space for you to tell me how you feel.’
‘How I feel?’
‘Yes. How do you feel when you come here? And how do you feel when you leave?’
She looked at him strangely, then gathering her things said:
‘I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this.’
And she was heading for the door. Jake stepped forward, gently but firmly blocking her path.
‘Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want to pry and I certainly don’t want to hurt you. I just want to know how I can help you.’
‘Help me?’
‘Yes, help you. You’re a good, strong person with so much to give, but you hate yourself and it doesn’t make any sense. So please let me help you. You’ve got no reason to beat yourself up like this and perhaps if you would talk to me…’
He petered out, such was the ferocity of the glare that she directed at him now. It was a toxic mixture of anger, bile and disappointment.
‘Fuck you, Jake.’
With that she pushed him out of the way and was gone. Jake slumped on to the chair – he had played that all wrong and would now pay the price. He knew with absolute certainty that he would never see Helen Grace again.
84
Everyone has a tipping point. A line that must not be crossed. I was no different. Had the stupid bastard been sensible then none of this would have happened. But he was dumb and greedy and that’s why I decided to kill him.
I was a wreck by this point. I’d given up on life – I knew that it was my lot to be damaged and discarded. I’d made my peace with that – after all, that’s what happened to the girls I knew. None of them made it out the other side. Look at my mother – a sorry fucking excuse for a person. She was a doormat, a punch bag, but worse than that she was an accomplice. She knew what he was doing to me. What Jimmy and the rest were doing to me. But she did nothing. She ignored it and just carried on. If he kicked her out, she’d probably die in the streets, no one else would have her. So she took the easy way out. If anything I hated her more than I hated him.
At least that’s what I thought until that day. When I saw him come into our bedroom and hesitate. Normally he just charged in and took his fill – he liked things to be brief and violent. But that day he paused and, for the first time, his gaze drifted to the top bunk.
I knew what that gaze meant, what evil thoughts were spinning round his head. Strangely, he backed off, walked out. Maybe wasn’t quite ready to go there yet. But I knew it was only a matter of time. And in that moment my mind was made up.
I decided there and then that I was going to kill the fucker.
And what’s more I was going to enjoy doing it.
85
‘It’s not difficult to do. Do you want me to show you how?’
Simon Ashworth had some colour in his cheeks for the first time in days. Hiding out in Helen’s flat, he’d become a nervous, fidgety creature, eating little and smoking a lot. But now Helen had some work for him – and proper detective work at that – he had perked up. He loved a chance to show off his technical expertise and Helen had just handed him an opportunity on a plate.
He’d been surprised by her sudden arrival. She burst in and started firing questions at him, without asking him how he was or bothering to update him on the Whittaker situation. She seemed agitated, distracted, and as she filled him in on the details of the investigation he could see why. He took it all in, but still it was mind-blowing. Progress had clearly been made, however. DI Grace had worked out why the victims were targeted, now she wanted to know how the killer did it. How did the killer know her victims’ movements so well that she could be on hand at the perfect moment to offer them a lift and then abduct them?