“Not the time, Mo,” Tex hissed.
Mil stood. “We’ll just be—going.”
They trickled out of the room, leaving me and Chase staring at each another. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I don’t think he did, either. Shit, we’d made a mess of things.
Chase rose from his chair and slowly approached me. With a single nod, he swallowed and then walked over toward the bar and poured us both drinks.
Wordlessly I followed him as he opened the doors to outside. We walked in silence to the end of the property. To the place where we had first made our pact. He held out the glass of whiskey.
We drank in silence.
“I can’t bring myself to apologize,” Chase finally said.
“I wasn’t asking you to.”
“I took her.” Chase looked down at his glass. “I have no excuses other than I thought you were dead, and then when I found out you weren’t”—he laughed humorlessly—“I panicked. I saw her slipping through my fingers—the life I wanted, our future—everything.”
“My fault.” My voice was hoarse, like there were jagged pieces of glass etched in my throat, making it hard for my words to come out smoothly. “I pushed you guys together. In so many ways I thought it would help. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, I just… I was—”
“You were thinking about her, Nixon.” Chase shook his head. “And that’s where we differ. Because toward the end, when I was forcing her to choose”—he sighed—“I wasn’t thinking about her. I was thinking about me.”
I exhaled and closed my eyes. “I won’t fight for her.”
Chase threw down his drink and punched me in the jaw. “The hell you won’t! You piece of shit! I deserve to be shot! And you’re going to sit there and just give up.”
My drink clattered to the ground as I swayed on my feet. “What the hell, Chase? You’re the one who took the most precious thing in my life from me. You’re the one who, even though you knew I was alive, kissed my girlfriend, my forever, my reason for living. And you’re yelling at me?”
“Damn right I am,” Chase spat. “She loves you!”
“She loves you too.” I massaged my jaw. “And I’m not gonna do that to her.”
“Do what?”
“Make her choose.”
Chase hung his head and rubbed his temples. “Stop being the bigger man.”
I sighed. “It’s not about me, man. It’s about her. I’m not going to put her between us. Hell, I’m not even going to let it get between you and me. It’s her, it’s always been her, it’s about her. Hell if I’m going to sit here and throw a fit for wanting something that doesn’t want me back. She loves you? Fine. Because, Chase. It’s never been about my wants or my needs. I can’t live if she’s unhappy. I can’t breathe if she’s upset. If being with you brings her that peace, then I want you to have her. I’ll be your best man at the wedding. I’ll babysit your kids when you want date night. Chase—” I swallowed the emotion in my throat and shook my head. “It’s about her.”
Chase’s eyes welled with tears. I’d never in my life seen the guy cry, but I knew he was close. The man was tough as shit. And I hated that we had been brought to this, that after a lifetime of friendship it would be something like fighting over a girl that would bring us back to the spot where we’d made our pact.
His eyes glazed over as he straightened his spine. “I don’t know if I can let her go. How do you let her go? How did you do it? I can’t—” He shuddered. “I can’t, Nixon. I’m sorry, but if she wants to be with me, I won’t say no. I can’t.”
I sucked in a deep breath and held out my hand to him. He took it. I pulled him in for a hug. “I wouldn’t expect you to, Chase. I would never ask that of you.”
“I want to hate you.”
I released him from my grip and laughed. “Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint you.”
“You wanna go apologize first? Or should I?” Chase asked.
“Let’s give her some time, all right? She did just shoot me. I wouldn’t put it past her to do it again.”
Chase chuckled. “Hell of a lucky shot. I’m surprised you’re still walking straight, a foot to the left and you would have been—”
“Thanks, yeah, I know what I would have been. Dying.”
We picked up our drinks and walked back to the house.
I opened the door to see Mil, Mo, and Tex all back in the room watching us pensively.
It was as if they had all taken in a huge breath and were waiting to see if me or Chase needed to go to the hospital.
“It’s fine.” I waved my hand in the air. “Nobody’s going to die.”
They exhaled in unison.
“Not to rain on anybody’s parade, but we gotta call the men together tonight. Let them know what happened.” Tex shoved his hands in his pockets.
It was awkward. A few weeks ago I’d been the boss. I’d been the boss for years and now I had to look to Chase. After all, his blood was the boss’s blood, the man I used to call father.
He clenched his right hand, and light bounced off the ring. “Make the call, Tex.”
“Right away.” Tex pulled out his cell and started making arrangements.
“And the funeral,” I said. “We can’t forget about Phoenix.”
“No.” Chase nodded. “We won’t forget him.”
Chapter Fifty-two Nixon
I watched as the men slowly began trickling into my house. Most of them were so damn happy to see me alive it was as if there wasn’t this giant elephant in the room—Chase being boss, and me being… what? What was I? I grabbed a glass of wine and took a seat.
Chase called the meeting to order just as Sergio walked in.
The men began to whisper between themselves.
And then Frank Alfero walked in, with Luca.
It hadn’t occurred to me until now how much power was sitting in that room. The head of the Nicolosi family from Sicily, the Abandonatos, and the Alfero mafia boss. Frank nodded at me and took a seat opposite on the couch.
“Gentlemen.” Chase cleared his throat. “Please welcome Luca Nicolosi and Frank Alfero. They’ve been gracious enough to attend our meeting.”
Luca nodded at Chase. “Someone has to clear the air.”
Over the next hour Luca explained in great detail the plans that had unfolded over the past few weeks. How I’d gone to him and staged my own death in order to snuff out Tony. How I needed more proof and how, in a moment of clarity, the De Lange boss, Phoenix, had redeemed himself by not only helping us, but by finishing off the rat that put us in that situation in the first place.
I watched as men, the ones I had grown up with, the ones I had looked up to, shook their heads, slapped backs with one another and began mumbling prayers under their breath.
Yes. We were the mafia.
But when family died? When lives were uselessly lost in our tight-knit family? That wasn’t business. No, it was tragedy and each and every one of them knew it.
When Luca was finished, Frank stood. “I’d like to say something.” He cleared his throat and looked around the room. “I’d like to thank your family. Not only did you put me into hiding, but you protected my granddaughter at all costs. It’s because of you that I may finally let go of the death of my son and daughter. It is because of you that I am able to hold my head high once again. I owe you my allegiance. This fighting, between us, it ends. It ends now.” He took his seat.
Chase stood. “There is one more thing to discuss.”
I knew how uncomfortable it would make him, so I stood and walked over to his side, giving him silent encouragement with my presence.
“Nixon and I…” He looked to the ceiling. “Well, we discovered some things about our pasts—things that really shouldn’t matter anymore. Regardless of my own parentage, and regardless of his, I motion to reinstate Nixon as the boss.”