He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I made a mistake.”
Her look hardened. “Yes, obviously you did. I’m an actress, therefore I must be a tart, right? Be honest- that’s the mistake you think you made, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry,” he said again, and stood up, brushing his hands down the front of his jacket. “I should go.”
He took up his coat and hat. Isabel did not rise but sat with her knees pressed together, gripping the gin glass tightly between her palms. He was stepping past her when she put out a hand and fumbled for one of his. “Oh, stop, you great lummox,” she said. “Come here.” She smiled up at him crookedly, pulling at his hand. “Maybe we can both get the wrong idea and see where it leads us.”
A CHURCH BELL FAR OFF WAS TOLLING THREE O’CLOCK WHEN HE slipped from the bed in the darkness and went and stood by the window. A crooked streetlamp was shedding a circle of light on the pavement outside. Behind him, Isabel, sleeping, was a tousle of dark hair on the pillow and one pale, gleaming arm flung across the sheet. The window was low, and he had to stoop to see out of it. The rain had stopped, and the sky, amazingly, was clear- it seemed to him weeks, months, even, since there had been a clear sky. A sliver of moon was suspended like a scimitar above the gleaming rooftops of the houses on the other side of the canal. A car sizzled past on this side, its headlights dimmed. It was cold, and he was naked, yet he lingered there, a stooped watcher of the night. He was calm, as if something, some perpetually turning motor in his head, had been switched to a lower, slower gear. How sweet it was for a little while not to think, merely to lean there, above the street, hearing the soft beating of his own heart, remembering the warmth of the bed that he would soon return to. Despite the stillness of the air the canal was moving, the water brimming at both banks and wrinkled like silver paper, and here came- look!-two swans, gliding sedately side by side, dipping their long necks as they moved, a pair of silent creatures, white as the moon and moving amidst the moon’s shattered, white reflections on the water.
IN THE MORNING, OF COURSE, IT WAS NOT AS EASY AS IT HAD BEEN in the night. Isabel had a hangover, though she tried to hide it behind a brightly brittle manner, and there was a knot of tension between her eyebrows and her skin had that gray, grainy pallor that was an unmistakable giveaway, as Quirke knew from many an ashen morning after a night before, glooming into the shaving mirror. She wore a silk tea gown with a floral print in crimsons and yellows, the design so busy he wondered how she could bear it. They sat at the table in the cramped kitchen by a window that looked out on a yard with a dustbin in it; a weak winter sun was shining out there, doing its best but not making much impression on anything. Isabel smoked with almost a fierce concentration, as if it were a task that had been set her, hard and wearisome, but one that she must not shirk. She had made coffee in a percolator with a glass top; the coffee was black and bitter and had a tarry taste, and made Quirke think unpleasantly of a monkey’s pelt. He wondered if he might tell her about the two swans on the canal in the moonlight but decided it would be better not to.
In the early hours they had lain awake and talked. Isabel had smoked then, too, and there had been something intimate in the way the red glare from the tip of her cigarette would burgeon in the darkness with each deep draw that she took and then fade again. She had been born in London, to an Irish mother and an English father. “Or did you think,” she said, “I was born in a trunk?” Early on, her father had run off, and she had come to Ireland with her mother to live with her mother’s parents. Isabel had loathed the elderly couple, her grandmother especially, who slapped her when her mother was not looking, and threatened to give her to the tinkers if she did not do as she was told. She had heard no more of her father, who might be dead for all she knew. She laughed softly in the darkness. “It all sounds so theatrical, when I hear myself tell it,” she said. “Like a bad piece of social realism at the Abbey. But such is life, I suppose- much less colorful, darling, than at the Gate.”
Then it was Quirke’s turn to recount his story, though he did not want to. She pressed him, and turned on her side and leaned on an elbow, attending intently. He told her of the orphanage, the years at the industrial school at Carricklea, then rescue by Malachy Griff n’s father. After a while he pretended to have fallen asleep, and soon she slept, too. She was a snorer. He lay awake in the dark, listening to her snuffings and snorkelings, and thought about the past, and how it never lets go its hold.
Now, at morning, they were awkward together. He wanted to be gone but did not know how to go.
“Did you know April Latimer was pregnant?” he asked.
She stared at him. “You’re joking,” she said. She threw herself back on the chair with a happy cry of laughter. “My God! I didn’t think April would be so- so banal.” Then she nodded. “Of course- that’s where she is, then, gone to En gland to have it fixed.”
Quirke shook his head. “No, she’s not in En gland. Or if she is, it’s not for that reason. She was pregnant, but not anymore.”
“She lost it?” He said nothing. “She got rid of it- here?” A thought struck her, and she looked at him more keenly, more searchingly. “How do you know these things?”
“I went to her flat- Phoebe and I.”
“Oh, yes, of course, Phoebe told me. You had a detective with you. What clues did he find, your Sherlock Holmes?”
Quirke hesitated. “There was blood, on the floor, beside the bed.”
“April’s bed? “
“Yes.”
She looked down at the table. “Oh, God,” she breathed. “How squalid. Poor April.”
He waited and then asked, “Would she have told you?”
She was shaking her head slowly, in dismay and disbelief, not listening to him, and now she looked up. “What?”
“What sort of terms are you on with April? I mean, would she talk to you about- about intimate things?”
“You mean, would she tell me she had got knocked up? God, I don’t know. She’s a funny one, our April. Acts extroverted and careless, a free spirit and all that, but she’s secretive, more so than anyone I know.” She thought for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “Yes, there’s something hidden deep down, there, under layers and layers.” She tapped her cigarette meditatively on the side of the tin ashtray. “You think what Phoebe thinks, don’t you? You think something has- something has happened to April.”
He looked at her. Why did they have to be talking about April Latimer? Why could he not be allowed to sit here at ease, in the glow of her fascinatingly tarnished beauty, watching the weak sunlight gilding the yard, drinking her awful coffee?
THE MORNING WAS WELL ADVANCED BY THE TIME HE GOT TO Mount Street. He should shave now and go to work, for which he was hours late already. Among the house post on the hall table there was a letter for him, delivered by courier; the brown envelope had a harp on it- who would be writing to him from the government? One of the legacies of his childhood was a dread of all officialdom, a dread that he could never rid himself of. He carried the letter upstairs to his flat and laid it down, unopened, on the table in the living room and went to put away his coat and his hat. He lit the gas fire, too, and made himself a drink with hot water and honey and lemon juice from a lemon-shaped plastic container. He felt swollen and feverish, as if he were the one with the hangover; perhaps he was getting something, the flu, perhaps. He was distracted by images of Isabel lying naked in his arms, her skin so pale it was almost phosphorescent in the darkness. The word Portobello kept going round and round in his head, like the title of some song.