And then, caught up in Emilia’s enthusiasm, Emily blurted out that she, too, had bought her mother a necklace for Christmas. She felt embarrassed as soon as Emilia demanded to see it. But there was no denying this young woman, so exuberant with her two lives tucked into one body. Emily took the black case out of her purse, held it low in her lap, and snapped it open for Emilia’s eyes only. Diamonds like stars and white gold like dripping icicles picked up the blue-gray light of the late afternoon sky, the yellowish light from the ceiling of the train car, and a bit of the red of Emilia’s coat.
“Ai, Dios mío,” Emilia said. What a marvel. “Oh, if I could give... if my mother... ah, your mother will love it.”
“Oh yes,” Emily heard herself reply, “I saw her admire it in a shop window just last year, and I have been making little payments on it every week,” which was partly true. She had put it on layaway, and she had made fifty weekly payments of two hundred dollars each. She closed the box carefully and returned it to her purse.
“Your mother is very lucky,” Emilia said, “to have such a generous daughter.”
“Four daughters,” Emily heard herself say, “and we all try to outdo one another, ever since we were girls together.” There was something about saying all this in another language that made it possible for Emily to paint for Emilia the picture of an idyllic childhood with two older sisters and one cherished baby sister. She told her of the Christmases and birthdays, and how her mother would cook all day and make gifts by hand, but how happy it made all of them just to be together in those days. She told her how her father had struggled to send them all to college and how they didn’t always have all the things their neighbors and friends had, but their house was always filled with laughter and love, especially the lively wit of her mother, a great joker, a tiny round woman who was always setting a place for other children at the table, as all of the girls would invite school friends to dinner, and later, during their college years, would even bring friends home to spend the holidays, not poor friends, or not always, but sometimes rich friends whose parents were off to Aspen or Switzerland or someplace remote and exotic where they went without their kids. “Oh, those rich people,” Emily said.
“Sí,” Emilia said, “pues, dicen, ‘Con los ricos, paciencia.’ ” They say, “With the rich, a little patience.” They have their troubles.
Emily looked at Emilia. She meant what she said. This lovely glowing pregnant woman from Guatemala, living with her mother far from the rest of their family, waiting to hear whether her hard-working husband would be able to make it home for Christmas, this woman was recommending sympathy for the rich. She thought again of Wade telling her she lacked the hunger to succeed in the business world, suggesting that she wasn’t worth the wages, the first real money of her own, he paid her.
“I don’t know,” Emily told her. “I had one friend who stayed with us almost all the time; she couldn’t stand her rich parents in those days. Now she works in New York trying to become just like them.”
“Ai,” Emilia said, arching her back and wincing. “I think he’s standing on my bladder. Would you watch my things again?”
Emily took charge again of the bags. It was becoming dark, and she could see her own reflection in the window. She looked tired and sad. She watched the snow falling through the streetlights of the little towns along the route. A melancholy sense of futility took hold of her. So much was irrecoverable. Again she heard Wade’s words in her ears: “Did you ever just take something just because you wanted it?” No. She hadn’t. But she would, she resolved, she would.
She looked up to see Emilia wobbling back toward her seat, her face beaded with sweat from the exertion, her black hair sticking to her temples in curly little tendrils. And still she looked beautiful, radiant.
“It is the first time I have seen snow,” Emilia told her as she lowered herself heavily into the seat. “I have seen it in pictures and in the movies, but I never really knew it would be so beautiful.” For a moment, Emily actually saw the scene through the train window, the white blanket of snow on the ground, the Christmas lights on the houses, the falling snow under the night sky... she saw all this reflected in Emilia’s eyes.
“I have to get off at the next stop,” Emily said.
Emilia wished her a merry Christmas “...and blessings on your mother and all your sisters.”
“Hello, Daddy,” Emily said as she entered the warm foyer.
“Hello, precious,” her father said. “Did you have a good trip? Give me those bags, your coat — ah, here’s Consuela.”
A little round woman was coming down the stairs. “Ai, bienvenida, mi amor,” she sang out musically.
“Oh, Consuela,” Emily said. “Feliz Navidad. Como te he extrañado.” How I’ve missed you.
She set her bags on the floor and wrapped her arms around Consuela before shrugging out of her coat. “How is she?” she asked, looking from Consuela to her father and back again and seeing the look that passed between them before either would answer.
“She’s about the same, dear,” her father said, but the weariness in his voice told her that she was worse.
“She has good days and bad days,” Consuela said. “Today is not so bad. I was just with her. She’s awake. You go up and tell her Merry Christmas.”
“Does she know you?” Emily asked, again of both her father and Consuela. “The last time I was here she didn’t know me.”
Her father didn’t say anything.
“She will like to have a visitor,” Consuela said. “You go up and see her.”
A short while later Emily sat by the side of the hospital bed brought into the house for her mother. She held the older woman’s dry right hand in hers. The table next to the bed was crowded with photographs in tasteful frames and stands — her slim, stylish mother and her handsome father in ski outfits at Vail and Bern, in formal wear at a fancy dress ball, in conical hats drinking champagne. Emily herself was only in one of the photos — a birthday shot taken in a restaurant when she was ten or eleven.
“It’s Emily, Mother, your daughter,” she said.
Her mother didn’t speak, but looked at her with expressionless eyes.
“I know you don’t remember me.”
Emily reached out to dab her mother’s mouth with a napkin.
“I learned something today,” Emily said. “Wade — you don’t remember him either, Daddy’s old friend who’s supposed to be teaching me how to cut throats — Wade thinks I need to learn how to lie, how to steal... he thinks I don’t have the hunger it takes in his world, the world Daddy did so well in. But today I lied. And I stole. And I saw what I want.”
Emily brought out her present. “It’s Christmas Eve,” she said. “I’ve brought you something.”
She held the box up before her mother and opened it carefully, watching the unknowing eyes as they took in the black velvet lining and the box’s contents. And suddenly her mother’s left hand that had lain limp on the coverlet lifted and reached for the necklace, for the shiny green and red stones and the silver filigree.