“Sorry! So sorry I’m late, boys and girls. But there was a most frightful last-minute holdup at the network about location budgets. Where would we all be without e-mail and the cell phone, I ask you? But you don’t want to hear about my little problems, I’m sure. You’re all dying to know about the future of Frankie Almond, Private Eye.”
As Brett, Lorelei, Nancy, and Andrew moved closer to hear what she had to say there was a sudden silence in the room. Only Grimm hung back.
Victoria smiled, looking from one to another. She basked in the rapt attention. Finally it was Lorelei, the writer, whose patience ran out. “So, is it going to series or not? Stop teasing us.”
Victoria laughed. “Outspoken as ever, Lorelei. Well, I saw the network president this afternoon...” She paused again, to recreate the suspense. “I met him, and... he is mine! The answer is affirmative. We are going to series.”
“Yes!” Brett shouted.
Andrew was more muted as he muttered, “Well, well.”
Lorelei smiled and nodded and made a fist.
Nancy applauded. Quietly she said, “Well done, Vicki.”
“So let the celebration dinner commence,” Victoria said. “Grimm?”
Grimm rang a chime. “Assembled writer, director, producer, actor, and friend of Frankie Almond, pray be seated for dinner.”
As people began to move, Victoria called, “Please note, no ‘ladies and gentlemen,’ but then this is television.” She laughed loudly. Her laugh, if not melodic, was direct and to the point. “Come along into the dining room. If the news had been bad, I’d have sent out for a Dominos, but since it’s good, we’ll all have a jolly theme meal to celebrate the fame, fortune, and fabulous future of Frankie Almond, Private Eye.”
As soon as Victoria’s guests were in the dining room they could smell the food being prepared by caterers in the connecting kitchen. Grimm was heard over all of them. “Find your place cards and take your seats.”
Lorelei was first. “Where...? Oh, I’ve found me.”
Andrew, however, grumbled. “Place cards when there are only five of us?”
Nancy had a theory and she happily whispered it to Brett. “It’s the only way Victoria can be sure to have the men on either side of her. Don’t be fooled if she starts playing footsie with you, sweetie. She’ll be doing the same with Andrew on the other side. Ah, here’s me.” And she took her place next to Lorelei. And true enough, the two women faced Victoria directly with the men’s seats either side of her.
But Andrew was still not impressed by the place cards. “Well, to hell with this. I’ll sit wherever I damn please.” With a rebellious expression he took the seat designated for Brett, between Victoria and Nancy. “When is the next time I’ll have the chance to sit between a top TV producer and a top TV director?”
But Brett was not pleased. This way he wouldn’t be next to Nancy. “Andrew, that’s my seat.”
“Oooo,” Andrew said, “is big bad Bwett gonna cwy? Because he ought to remember, Frankie Almond would never cwy big bad pwivate eye tears. Take a hike, Brett. For once I’m having what I want.”
On the small screen Brett might have dragged Andrew aside and knocked him out with one punch, but in real life, with no lines to read and no stunt coordinator, all he could do was say, “Oh well.” He sat in the seat that had been designated for Andrew, between Victoria and Lorelei.
Victoria herself seemed not to notice. She was excited. “Now that Frankie Almond has been signed and sealed for prime time, I wanted to mark the occasion with something special. So I declare this theme dinner open. First, please take a look at the wine goblets by your plates. My sister made them from the finest Yorkshire clay. And do you see the face? Recognize Brett — or rather, Frankie? Isn’t that sweet? But before we all raise our goblets, I call on Nancy to remind us how she came up with the original idea for Frankie Almond, Private Eye.”
“Original?” Andrew muttered, but if anyone heard him there was no reaction.
Nancy said, “Well, Frankie... What can I say? He just came to me out of the blue one day.”
But before she could recall the day, or the blue, Andrew interrupted. “Ain’t that the truth.”
This time Nancy was unwilling to let the grumbling from the man on her right continue. “Excuse me, Victoria,” she said, “but just what is your good-looking, if slightly shop-soiled, friend doing at a Frankie Almond event? It’s your party, of course, but although we’ve never even been properly introduced he keeps talking to me. Do you think he might be making a pass? And if so, don’t you think you should pack him off somewhere? Perhaps let Grimm teach him what is appropriate behavior and what isn’t?”
Victoria was not pleased with Andrew or the interruption. “Andrew, please. Contain yourself.”
“Sorry, Vic,” Andrew said. His tone was humble, but he didn’t make eye contact.
Nancy resumed. “Frankie Almond... Well, in truth Frankie was a reaction to the current fad for novelty. Everywhere you look somebody is touting yet another new exotic detective. There are children detectives, ghost detectives, ancient Romans, monks, and Martians all solving murders these days. I even think there are plans for a dog as TV sleuth — and not a cartoon. So I thought, what on earth is wrong with a good old-fashioned private eye? And that’s how Frankie Almond was born.”
Lorelei, who wrote the script for the pilot, chimed in. “I think of Frankie as the archetype of private detection. He’s elegant, and classic. He’s intelligent, handsome, witty, sexy, wealthy.”
Victoria smiled and nodded. “Lorelei, you’ve put Almond in a nutshell.”
Nancy, who directed the pilot, continued. “And, Victoria, by casting Brett in the title role, I think you’ve given Frankie Almond the perfect physical embodiment.”
“Aw shucks,” Brett said, in mock modesty, “you’re just trying to make me blush.”
“Wait till I get you alone.” Nancy laughed, pretending she wasn’t serious.
But Victoria said, “Children, children, control yourselves. Which, in fact, brings up a serious point that does need to be addressed.”
The others were surprised by the notion that they’d have to consider something serious. They fell silent.
Victoria continued, “With success comes responsibility. Especially since Frankie will be in prime time. It is now incumbent on us all to avoid scandal of any kind. At least until the second series.”
“What sort of scandal did you have in mind, sweetie?” Lorelei asked in a tone of voice that encouraged each of the guests to think of something he or she had never tried but might fancy.
“All I mean is that you must lock the doors before and do up your buttons after. Don’t buy anything illegal or immoral — let a friend do it for you. No insider dealing with the money you’re about to earn. And don’t say anything to anyone in the media if you don’t want to see it in headlines. Basic privacy and no arrests. I trust that’s not too much to hope for.”
Positive sounds from around the table were encouraging.
“Good,” Victoria said. “We understand each other. So, please, everyone, raise the smallest of my sister’s ‘Frankie face’ goblets. You’ll find it to the right of your plate, just north of the forks. Grimm took the liberty of pouring you each a small celebratory libation. I now wish to propose a toast.”
Lorelei asked, “Is that going to be an almond toast?”
“Great minds, Lorelei. As it happens, the liqueur in question is an almond cordial. So raise your goblets. I give you Frankie Almond, Private Eye.”