There were intakes of breath all around the table.
The tape continued, “I never mentioned it to Victoria, but I’ve known Nancy for a long time. Then, a few years ago, I had a supporting role in a play she directed off-Broadway. One morning, over croissants, I told her all about my blockbuster idea for a ‘classic’ private eye.”
Nancy said sharply, “That’s a lie.”
“The only difference,” Andrew’s voice continued, “between my idea and what has become Frankie Almond is that I thought the detective should be my age and have some experience of the world. And I called him Charlie Cashew.”
Victoria said, “This is not at all what I expected.”
“What I didn’t know then,” Andrew’s voice said, “is that Nancy steals things. Usually it’s just people. For instance, she bragged one time how she stole Lorelei’s husband. Even now Lorelei doesn’t talk with Nancy except about work. And more recently Nancy stole Brett away from you, Victoria. At least that’s her version. I don’t care about all that, but what I do care about is that she stole my idea — my idea — for the TV series that’s going to make you all rich.”
Nancy could stand it no longer. “It’s all lies,” she said. “He thinks he can say anything just because he’s dead.”
But Brett and Lorelei shushed her, wanting to hear the remainder of the recording.
“When Victoria showed me the complete guest list,” Andrew said, “I had second thoughts about using this dinner to confront Nancy. Because, the truth is, I’ve had problems of one kind or another with each of you.”
Having expected more dirt about Nancy, Brett, Lorelei, and Victoria all looked at one another.
“For instance,” Andrew continued, “I met Lorelei Penfold years ago, when I was in her TV play about dairy farming, Creme de Passion.”
“I know what’s coming,” Lorelei said, “but—”
“Lorelei became obsessed with me.”
“It’s not true!”
“She followed me everywhere, morning, noon, and night. Eventually I had to get a court order to keep her away. This is the first time in years that we’ve been in the same room.”
“It was a misunderstanding,” Lorelei protested.
“And as for Brett Kingsley,” Andrew said.
“I wrote all about it in my play, Innocent Error,” Lorelei said.
“When Brett was in high school he got involved with my little cousin, Audrey, and her mother. It ended in an appalling orgy of sex, drugs, and stomach pumps. Brett is always nice as pie to me face-to-face, but now that he’s about to be the star of a prime-time program... Well, I know so many things he would not want splashed around the tabloids.”
“Nice as pie,” Brett said. “He said it himself.”
“And you, Vic,” Andrew said. “Well, let’s talk about your background, shall we? And your little sister, whose identity you stole to pass yourself off as a university graduate. Good thing she’s content to stay away and play with clay, isn’t it?”
Victoria’s jaw dropped. For once nothing came out of her mouth.
Andrew’s tape continued, “If you’re listening to this, then something awful’s happened. I can only hope that those of you who are innocent will get together to discover who is guilty.”
After several seconds of silence, Grimm turned the machine off. “That’s the end.”
Victoria shook her head, breathing heavily. “This is not at all what I intended for tonight. I am so sorry, everybody. This was supposed to be a party. A celebration.”
“Funny thing, though,” Lorelei said.
“What?”
“That Nancy lied about knowing him.”
“No, I didn’t,” Nancy said sharply.
“Yes, you did. When you complained to Victoria because he was interrupting your version of the idea for Frankie Almond. And maybe now we understand all that a bit better.” Lorelei glared at the woman next to her.
“I just said nobody introduced us,” Nancy said. “And it’s not like I was obsessed with him to the point that required a restraining order.”
But the confrontation was truncated when Victoria sighed and nearly tumbled from her chair.
Grimm was by her side in a flash. “Ms. Victoria, are you all right?”
“It’s... it’s not what I expected.”
“Can you continue?”
“For the moment. I guess. Yes.”
Lorelei said, “Did Nancy steal Andrew’s original idea for Frankie Almond, Victoria? If she did, her position would be a lot more secure if Andrew were out of the way permanently.”
“Wait a minute,” Brett said.
“What?”
“I may not be a real detective, but there’s an obvious question that needs to be asked here. How was the poison administered?”
Eyes turned to the scriptwriter. Lorelei said, “In the almond cordial, presumably.”
“And who poured the almond cordial?”
“It was waiting for us,” Nancy said.
“Exactly,” Brett said, in his Frankie Almond voice. “Grimm?”
Grimm did not respond to the implied accusation immediately.
Victoria said, “Please answer the man, Grimm.”
“I did indeed pour the drinks, Mr. Brett.”
Brett said, “Hey, hey, wait. We’ve forgotten one other thing. And it’s important.”
Voices asked, “What?”
But before Brett could say anything more, Grimm interrupted. “No need to continue, sir.”
“Grimm?” Brett said.
“I confess, Mr. Brett. I confess to the crime. I did it. It’s a fair cop, guv. I poisoned the gentleman.”
“But... but why would you do such a thing, Grimm?” Lorelei asked.
“Yes, why?” Nancy asked.
Despite the confession, Brett insisted on making his point. “There are two things we have all forgotten.”
“What, Brett?” Lorelei asked.
“First,” Brett said, “Andrew was sitting in the seat I was supposed to have. So if the drink there was poisoned, then I would have been the intended victim.”
“Oh my,” Lorelei said.
“Yet it was Andrew who had made the cassette.”
People looked at the sound system.
“The second thing we’ve forgotten,” Brett said, “is that Victoria likes to play jokes.”
“Jokes?”
“I see!” Nancy said with the triumph of discovery. “All this has been a game. You told us at the start that this would be a theme dinner, didn’t you, Victoria?”
After a moment, Victoria said, “I too confess.”
Nancy said, “Andrew dies — which is why he was invited to the party. And the butler did it. Oh, that’s cute, and very classic. Good deduction, Brett. You shall be rewarded...”
“Thank you,” Brett said.
“However,” Victoria said, “I do apologize for that wretched tape. Andrew made it this afternoon, unsupervised, while I was at the network. Believe me, the script I wrote for him was very different. And much funnier.”
“Andrew didn’t sound like he was trying to be funny.”
“He’s been a very naughty boy. I shall have to punish him severely.”
“I daresay he’ll like that,” Nancy said.
“Although,” Victoria said with a smile, “I must say, my money was on Lorelei to solve the case, what with her plotting skills. But I guess you got too involved in the tape, didn’t you?”