Sabina had no more questions. But she did have one cogent observation. “You realize, of course, that all the evidence you’ve gathered is circumstantial. You haven’t any legal proof that Paxson is the one who administered the nicotine drops.”
“I know it,” he agreed. “But I have no intention of either confronting him — he’s not the sort to be bullied into a confession — or of going to the police. I will be meeting later today with Mrs. Shellwin and Peter Lehman, at which time I’ll tell them everything I’ve told you. What they do with the information is entirely up to them. A proper course of action, would you agree?”
“I would.”
Quincannon smiled fondly at her, and reached for his briar and tobacco pouch.
“Must you, after all you’ve just recounted?” she said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s warm in here and too cold and damp outside to open the window.”
“Just one pipeful, my dear. To celebrate the successful closing of yet another case in the annals of John Frederick Quincannon, sleuth extraordinaire.”
She sighed. “You know what it is about you, John, that I find most amazing and unparalleled?”
“My ratiocinative powers?”
“No. Your abiding humility.”
© 2018 by Bill Pronzini
Bug Appétit
by Barb Goffman
Mystery story story writer Barb Goffman has won the Agatha, Macavity, and Silver Falchion awards for her fiction (and received 22 best-story nominations!). Her work has appeared in a wide variety of anthologies, as well as in our sister publication, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, and the new Black Cat Mystery Magazine. This is her EQMM debut!
It was the night before Thanksgiving, and Garner Duffy stood just inside the entrance of the community center, scanning the large room. He knew exactly what he was looking for.
Twenty-five tables filled the space. Each one had two chairs. One was empty, and on the other sat a girl looking for a date for Thanksgiving — someone who couldn’t bear one more family meal as the pathetic single one. Oh, that’s not the way the community center worded the ad for tonight’s Love at First Bite speed-dating event. They were promoting it as a chance to find true love over a turkey dinner. But that’s what it boiled down to, Garner knew.
A pretty blonde in a tight, low-cut top leered at him from a nearby table. Nah. She was nice on the eyes, but her clothes screamed Old Navy.
A sexy-as-hell brunette winked at him and crossed her legs, letting her short skirt slide up her thighs. Yum. But nope. She had way too much confidence.
Ahh, there she was. Garner set his sights on the plump girl with acne and thin dishwater-blond hair in the fourth row. She was twenty-one, maybe twenty-two. A couple of years younger than he was. She noticed him watching her, then quickly cast her eyes downward. Her clothes and purse appeared stylish and new, and her diamond and gold jewelry looked real and expensive. Ding, ding, ding. We had a winner.
All Garner wanted for Thanksgiving was a rich girl with low self-esteem. Someone he could charm and get a good meal from, before he robbed her blind and disappeared. This girl fit the bill.
The dude running the event tapped his microphone and explained that each guy would have two minutes to chat up each girl. When a loud buzzer sounded, it would be time to switch tables. Easy enough. At the event’s end, each guy should return to the table with the woman he liked best, and she could decide whom she wanted to invite to Thanksgiving, if anyone. It wasn’t the smartest design because the hottest girls would probably attract several suitors, while some of the ladies would end up alone. But that could work well for Garner.
He positioned himself so he’d hit Chubbo’s table last. That way, when they met, her confidence would be in the toilet — surely none of the guys here would be clamoring to go out with her — and Garner could become her knight in shining armor. Once he turned on the charm, Garner was sure she’d jump at the chance to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner.
About forty-five minutes later, Garner had finally reached the table beside Chubbo’s. The gangly woman yapping at him was going on and on about her job. She was a printer. Or a painter. Something like that. Garner didn’t care enough to pay attention. He was too focused on his mark. She seemed down. She was trying to make conversation, but the guy beside him was slouched in his chair, clearly bored. Exactly what Garner had hoped for.
Don’t worry, baby. I’m heading your way.
The buzzer rang, and Garner sprang from his seat, not bothering to say goodbye to the potter. He hurried to Chubbo and gave her his best smile. He’d dyed his hair brown and wore fake glasses so he’d be harder to recognize just in case things ultimately went south and Chubbo called the cops. He hoped she liked what she saw. Hell, what was he worrying about? Of course she would.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m Garrett.” He always used a name similar to his own when he ran a scam so he’d remember to answer if someone tried to get his attention.
Chubbo gave him a tentative half smile. “Hi. I’m Kaycee.”
“Well, am I glad to meet you.” Garner tilted his head toward the rest of the room. “All these other ladies have been pleasant, but none of them have eyes that sparkle like yours.”
Kaycee’s blue eyes actually did sparkle at that moment, and Garner knew he’d scored. Now it was time to reel her in.
“I’m in my first year of med school at the university,” he said as Kaycee perked up even more. “The schedule is rough, so I don’t have time to go home for Thanksgiving. But I decided I could take a few hours away from studying to try to meet someone nice. Someone like you.”
Kaycee grinned.
Jackpot!
She started talking about herself. She grew up in town, had two years of college, and now was working as a baker or a ticket taker. Something like that. Garner didn’t pay attention to the boring details. Instead he asked questions designed to make her think he was interested while eliciting important information. Kaycee lived with her parents in the wealthy part of town, he learned, so if he ate at their home the next day, all her jewelry should be right there for the picking. Excellent. If all went well, he’d only have to go out with her once. Her dad owned a chain of dry-cleaning stores, which made Garner confident that Kaycee’s jewelry was real. And she had two older sisters, both of whom were already married and pregnant. So Kaycee had to be desperate for a boyfriend — so desperate and insecure that when Garner stole her gems and disappeared, she’d be too embarrassed to tell anyone. Yep, she was the one for him.
Buzz!
As all the men hurried back to the girls they liked best, Garner stayed put. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, Kaycee. I hope maybe you’d like to get to know me better too.”
Her cheeks flushed as she nodded and invited him to Thanksgiving dinner, babbling about the meal her mother was making. She’d be cooking with jugs. Or mugs. Something like that. Garner kept nodding and smiling. He couldn’t wait. This year, he’d definitely have something to be thankful for.
Early the next afternoon Garner parked his car outside Kaycee’s house. As usual, he’d been spot on. Her family lived in a McMansion with a huge front lawn. He hoped he’d be able to find her jewelry box easily.