Scene
SCENE 1: The Queen Apartment (The Inspector, Ellery, and Nikki Porter are at breakfast, Sergeant Velie is impatiently waiting for the Inspector to finish)
Velie: Here’s your hat an’ coat, Inspector Queen. Man, you must love coffee! Don’t you know dooty calls?
Inspector: (Chuckling) Don’t rush me, Velie. I’m an old man.
Ellery: Old man! Why there isn’t a youngster on the police force could keep up with you, dad Isn’t that so, Sergeant?
Velie: When he wants to. Right now he don’t want to.
Nikki: More coffee, Ellery?
Ellery: No thanks, Nikki. Oh, by the way! No work on my novel this morning. I’m expecting a visitor.
Nikki: (Quickly) Male or female?
Ellery: Male, my child. Male named Sweeney. New York agent for the Vulcan Fire Insurance Company of Cleveland.
Velie: The whozis? Say, Inspector, d’ye hear that?
Nikki: Now what did the great Mr. Queen say?
Inspector: Well, Ellery doesn’t know it, but Headquarters is helping the Vulcan people investigate the epidemic of fires that’s been keeping this neighborhood up nights.
Nikki: And their agent is coming to see him today — the long arm of coincidence! May as well clear these dishes away. (Fading) Hired as a secretary — finagled into being a housekeeper! (The men laugh)
Velie: Those fires been raisin’ hallelujah around here. Bad business, Mr. Queen.
Ellery: How many fires have there been, dad?
Inspector: Three in the last two weeks. First one was that cigar-and-stationery store around the corner on Amsterdam Avenue.
Nikki: (Returning) You know, Ellery — the store run by that grumpy old Scotchman, Ferguson.
Velie: Second fire was an interior decorator’s shop down the block a ways — Ferril’s.
Inspector: And the third fire — only two nights ago — gutted a brand-new milliner’s shop two blocks north.
Nikki: I know! Madame Delage’s. She really had the stunningest hats, Ellery. Such a shame.
Ellery: Isn’t it possible the three fires were accidents?
Velie: Not accordin’ to the Arson boys at Headquarters.
Inspector: Chemicals started the blaze in all three cases, son — and all in the middle of the night, so that by the time the fires were discovered and alarms turned in, there was a total loss of interior property.
Velie: Inspector, we gotta be goin’. We’re late! L-A-T-E!
Inspector: Coming, Velie, coming. Ellery, compare notes with me after you’ve talked to this Vulcan insurance man — what’s ’is name? — Sweeney. (Velie growls at him) Right, right, Velie! (The Inspector and Velie leave the apartment)
Nikki: This is one of the few cases you’ve had involving mysterious fires, isn’t it, Ellery?
Ellery: Yes, Nikki. Where’s that man Sweeney? I’m itching to have a go at this one!
Nikki: Could the three fires be the work of a — what do you call those people who set fire to things just for the heck of it?
Ellery: Incendiary — pyromaniac — commonly called “fire-bug,” Nikki. An especially nasty and dangerous type of psychopathic criminal. (Doorbell rings off) There’s Sweeney now.
Nikki: (Fading) Coming...! (She opens the door off)
Sweeney: (He is a nervous, middle-aged man) I have an appointment with Mr. Queen. Name’s Sweeney.
Nikki: (Off) Come in, Mr. Sweeney. (She closes the door) This way, please.
Ellery: Come in, Mr. Sweeney! My secretary, Miss Porter. (Sweeney mumbles) Sit down.
Sweeney: Thanks. Mr. Queen, I... you’ve got a rep for... well, helpin’ people out when they’re in a jam—
Nikki: (Surprised) But I thought it was about the fires—
Ellery: (Quickly) Notes, Nikki. (Nikki subsides) (gently) Yes, Mr. Sweeney?
Sweeney: (Desperately) Mr. Queen, would you help an ex-convict go straight?
Nikki: Of course he would! He’s always helping people.
Ellery: (Kindly) You’ve done time, Mr. Sweeney?
Sweeney: (Unevenly) Quite a stretch. Years ago I... got into a bad mess. I’d just started workin’ for the Vulcan Fire Insurance company, and they had me pinched.
Ellery: On what charge?
Sweeney: Collusion with a policy-holder to defraud the company. Yes, I was guilty — this account of mine was a slick article, he tempted me... anyway, we tried to collect on a fake fire. They had me with the goods, and I went to jail. (Quickly) The company was swell to me, though. When I was paroled, they took me right back and gave me another chance.
Nikki: That’s the way it should be.
Sweeney: I’ve worked honest ever since. But just when I thought it was all forgotten — this has to happen.
Ellery: You’re under suspicion again, Mr. Sweeney?
Sweeney: But this time I’m innocent — I swear I am, Mr. Queen! Three of the accounts I wrote up for fire insurance have had fires in the past two weeks — mighty funny-lookin’ fires—
Nikki: The fires in this neighborhood? Stationery-store, interior decorator, and hat shop?
Sweeney: (Surprised) Yes. You know about this case?
Ellery: Yes, we know about it. What’s the attitude of your company — precisely?
Sweeney: They’re suspicious. Can you blame ’em, Mr. Queen? Not in the face of my record. But I tell you I don’t know a darned thing about those fires. I’ve got a wife and two growin’ kids now. I wouldn’t want my youngsters to find out their old man’s an ex-con.
Nikki: Oh, Ellery! Can’t you do something for Mr. Sweeney?
Ellery: We can try, Nikki.
Sweeney: Mr. Queen, if my company fires me again, under suspicion, I’m through. I’ll be tagged a crook for the rest of my life. No other company’d give me a job. Help me, Mr. Queen. I want to go straight!
Ellery: I’ll start investigating at once. Be back here at my apartment tonight at nine, Mr. Sweeney, and perhaps I’ll have some news for you!
SCENE 2: Ferguson’s Cigar-and-Stationery Store (Ellery and Nikki pause on the side-walk before Ferguson’s shop)
Nikki: Here’s Ferguson’s cigar-and-stationery store, Ellery. But the show window’s all boarded up.