Ellery: Who’s your landlord, Mr. Ferril? I mean, both of the small shop you sub-leased to Madame Delage, and of this one you recently moved to?
Ferriclass="underline" The thame man — old Jacob Tinker. The Scwooge!
Ellery: Ah. Well, we’ll be getting along. (He opens the street door) If you two should recall anything helpful to our investigation—
Ferriclass="underline" We’ll get wight in touch with you, Mithter Queen. (Angry) Thimon! Thimon Tinker! Get away fwom here!
Nikki: (Low) Here’s the half-wit again, Ellery.
Ferriclass="underline" He maketh me tho nervouth.
Simon: (Approaching eagerly) Mr. Ferril, see what I found! A nice cigaret! Give me a match to light my cigaret, Mr. Ferril? Please!
Mme. Delage: Non, non — go away, Simon! We have no matches!
Simon: (Wistfully) Nobody ever has matches. (Eagerly) You look nice. Will you give me a match?
Nikki: (Whispering) Ellery, he’s talking to you!
Ferriclass="underline" (Whisper) Thay you haven’t any, Mithter Queen! Thimon’th like a baby — can’t be twuthted!
Ellery: (Gently) Sorry, Simon. No matches today.
Simon: (Agonized) No matches for Simon! I’ll find a good fairy — she’ll give me a match! Won’t somebody give me a match? Please. Simon wants a match... Simon wants a match to see the pretty fire. (He laughs and laughs.)
SCENE 4: The Queen Apartment
Inspector: But why are you so interested in this pawnbroker Jake Tinker and his half-wit brother Simon, Ellery?
Ellery: (Grimly) Because I’m wondering if Jacob Tinker gained anything by those three fires, Dad.
Nikki: And where was the half-wit brother on the nights of the three fires?
Velie: Aw, we didn’t pass that one up, Miss Porter!
Inspector: Old Jake Tinker gave his brother Simon an alibi. Said Simon didn’t leave their backroom quarters at the pawnshop on any of the three nights. (Doorbell rings)
Nikki: I’ll go. Must be Mr. Sweeney.
Inspector: Could be Jake’s lying in his false teeth, but right now the alibi holds. It’s a funny case.
Velie: Yeah — I bet Ferguson, Ferril, an’ this French dame are bustin’ their sides laughin’!
Nikki: (Returning with Sweeney) Mr. Queen’s waiting, Mr. Sweeney.
Sweeney: Evenin’, Mr. Queen! Am I late? You said to be back here at nine—
Ellery: Right on time, Mr. Sweeney. My father Inspector Queen, Sergeant Velie. (Ad libs) Of course you must know that Jacob Tinker, the local pawnbroker, owns the buildings where all three fires occurred?
Sweeney: Sure, Mr. Queen. He used to be one of my accounts.
Nikki: (Eagerly) Does Tinker gain by the fires, Mr. Sweeney?
Sweeney: Gains! He loses more than anyone else.
Ellery: (Sharply) How’s that?
Sweeney: A month ago, when Tinker’s insurance had to be renewed, he squawked for a reduction in rate. My company said no. Tinker got sore, started dickering with another company, then Ferguson’s fire happened, and the old nickel-nurser was caught without protection.
Nikki: Serves people like that right!
Inspector: I knew about that, Ellery. The other company called off negotiations until the cause of the fire could be determined.
Velie: So Tink-Tink-Tinker’s had three big fire-losses in a row — an’ he ain’t collectin’ a cent!
Ellery: Then you’ve nothing to worry about, Mr. Sweeney.
Sweeney: (Eagerly) I haven’t?
Ellery: Of course not! How can the Vulcan company accuse you of collusion to defraud? In all three fires the shopkeepers lost more than the insurance coverage! And Tinker’s building losses don’t cost the company anything. (Faint fire engines clang from some nearby street.)
Sweeney: (Relief) I hope the home office sees it that way. But who’s behind these fires, darn it?
Nikki: And for goodness sake — why? (The fire engines are louder.)
Ellery: Since no one gains anything — shopkeepers or owner of the buildings or insurance company or yourself, Mr. Sweeney, — it must be the work of a fire-bug — a crank committing arson for the thrill. (Engines still louder.)
Velie: Say! Ain’t those fire-engines?
Nikki: Fire-engines! Let’s see!
Inspector: Open the window, Velie! (Velie obeys, and the engines scream from somewhere nearby.)
Ellery: They’re racing past on Amsterdam Avenue!
Sweeney: There’s the glow against the sky! See it?
Velie: Wow, what a fire!
Nikki: Ellery! Isn’t that just about the spot where Jacob Tinker’s pawnshop is located?
Ellery: Tinker’s pawnshop? Come on!
SCENE 5: A Street Outside Tinker’s Pawnshop (Fire-engines, crowd noises, hiss of hoses, shouted orders of police and firemen, and a fierce background of crackling flames.)
Ellery: (Above hubbub) Let us through, please!
Nikki: Ouch, my foot! It’s like the mob-scene from Macy’s!
Velie: Gangway, folks! Come on, Sweeney!
Ellery: Dad! Get us through the fire-lines.
Inspector: Follow me. One side, Officer!
Officer: (Fadingon) Hey, you! You can’t git through here! Oh, ’scuse me, Inspector Queen. Didn’t reco’nize you. Stand back, folks! Go on, now...!
Inspector: Chief! Chief Hilliard!
Fire Chief: (Fading on) Evening, Inspector. Out to see the fun, hey? (Grimly.) Some fun... Hey Bill! More pressure! You men! Get a move on there.
Inspector: Jake Tinker’s pawnshop, all right. Can you save the building, Chief?
Chief: We’ll be lucky if we save the ones on either side. Fire inside Tinker’s store is terrific.
Ellery: Chemical combustion, like the previous fires?
Chief: Yep. Sent a fireman inside, but the heat’s so intense that even wearing special equipment the man had to come out again. Says the fire’s so hot the aluminum cooking pots on a shelf over the stove in the back room are melting. (Shouts.) Bring up Number Three!
Nikki: Look at that fire! My face is hot even from here.
Velie: Jake Tinker an’ his brother safe?