"It isn't your fault, O. It's just life," she knocks.
"But we're dead," he knocks.
Owen can hear Emily laugh in the other room. No knocks follow, and then she is standing in his room.
"When you first died, I wanted to die, too. I didn't want to be alive without you," Emily says. "You were my whole life. I had no memories that didn't contain you somehow."
Owen nods.
"But I moved on. I stopped waiting for you. In truth, I didn't believe I would ever see you again,"
Emily says.
"You never married," Owen says.
"I had done that before. And to even consider doing it again, you were the standard against which all others had to be judged." She laughs. "The funny thing is, I had actually met someone a couple of months before I died. It wasn't serious, not yet, but it had possibility."
"I never saw that! I never once saw you with another guy!" Owen says.
"Well, I suspect you hadn't been watching me very closely during that time," Emily says.
Owen looks away.
"On some level, I could always feel you watching me, Owen, and I noticed when you stopped,"
Emily says.
Owen doesn't answer.
"It's all right for you to be in love with someone else. You shouldn't feel guilty," Emily says gently.
"At first, I think I liked her because she reminded me of you," he says quietly.
"Or me twenty years ago."
Owen looks at Emily and for the first time since she'd arrived on Elsewhere, he really sees her.
She's pretty, maybe even more so than she was as a girl. But she's different. She's older, more angular. Her eyes are changed, but he can't say just how. "I don't really know you anymore, do I?" he says sadly.
She kisses him on the forehead, and he wants to cry.
"Some couples work out; some couples make it here," Owen says. "Why can't we be those people?"
"I wouldn't worry too much about it," Emily says. "And in any case, I'm glad I got to see you again."
"But it seems unfair, doesn't it? We were supposed to grow old together and all that."
"Well, that wasn't going to happen anyway. Not here at least," Emily points out. "And I think we were luckier than most," she says. "We had a great life together, and we got a second chance, too. How many people can say that?"
"Is this because of that night on the porch?" Owen asks.
"Not at all," Emily assures him. "But as you mention it, would you like to know what I saw out there?" She pauses. "I saw two kids in love."
Owen closes his eyes and when he opens them again, she is gone. He feels a strange ache in his forearm. He examines his tattoo, which is more vivid than he can ever remember it being, even when it had first been applied. The heart throbs and pulses almost like a real heart. And then, in a moment, the tattoo is gone, too. Aside from a slight redness, his skin is bare. It is as if the tattoo had never been there at all.
Right before he falls asleep, he vows to go see Liz first thing in the morning.
To Earth
On the morning of Liz's Release, she wakes at four o'clock. All launches take place at sunrise when the tide exposes the River, and she arrives about fifteen minutes early.
A team of launch nurses prepares the babies to be Released into the River. Liz's nurse is named Dolly.
"My," says Dolly when she sees Liz, "we don't often get big girls like you."
"I'm a Sneaker," Liz replies.
"Yeah, Joleen normally handles the Sneakers, but she's on vacation. Sneaker or not, you have to take off all your clothes, and then I'll swaddle you up."
"Can't I at least leave on my underwear?" Liz asks.
"Sorry, everyone's got to wear their birthday suit back to Earth," Dolly says. "I know it's probably a little embarrassing at your age, but that's how it works. Most of the babies don't know the difference. Besides, no one'll know you're naked under the swaddling clothes anyway." Dolly hands Liz a paper gown. "You can wear this in the meantime."
Naked but for the gown, Liz lies down on a table with wheels like a hospital gurney. The launch nurse begins to wrap Liz in white linen bandages. She starts with Liz's feet, bandaging Liz's legs together, and works her way up to Liz's head. When she reaches the middle, she removes Liz's paper gown and begins to bind Liz's arms to her sides.
"Why do you have to bind the arms?" Liz asks.
"Oh, it helps the current pull you to Earth if you're more streamlined, and it also keeps the babies warm," Dolly answers.
Dolly leaves Liz's face open, but the rest of Liz's body is tightly bound. Liz looks like a mummy.
She feels terrible wrapped up this way, and she can barely breathe.
Dolly rolls Liz over to the edge of the beach. She lowers her into the water. Liz feels the cool water saturate her bandages.
"What happens to the swaddling clothes when I get to Earth?"
"Don't worry. The cloth will have mostly deteriorated by then, and the River washes away what's left," says Dolly. "When the sun starts to rise over the horizon, you'll be able to see the River. I'll give you a push, and the current will carry you all the way to Earth. I am told the journey feels like a week, but you'll probably lose track of time much before then."
Liz nods. She can make out the beginnings of a reddish light just over the horizon. It will be soon.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Dolly asks Liz.
Liz shakes her head, and it practically causes her whole body to shake because of the tight cloth.
"What makes a person want to go back to Earth early?" Dolly asks.
"What do you mean?" Liz replies.
"I mean, it's all life, isn't it? Why are you in such a rush to get back?"
At that moment, the sun appears in the sky. The ocean splits in two, and the River is revealed.
"Sunrise," says Dolly. "Time to go. Well, have a good trip!" Dolly gives Liz a push down the River.
Curtis Jest cannot sleep. He tosses and turns in his wooden cot. Finally, he gives up on sleeping and gets out of bed.
Curtis hitches a ride across town to Liz's house. He knows Liz is living with her grandmother. He decides that he must inform this woman about Liz's decision, even if it means breaking Liz's confidence. For the first time in ages, he laments losing his rock star status. (Rock stars always have fast cars.)
At 6:15 a.m., he rings Betty's doorbell.
"Hello, I'm looking for Lizzie's grandmother," Curtis says. He stares at Betty. "Good Lord, you wouldn't be her, would you?"
"Yes, I'm Elizabeth's grandmother. And you are?"
"I'm " Curtis begins. For a moment, he completely forgets his name and his whole reason for coming. Instead, he considers what color you would call Betty's eyes. Gray-blue, he decides.
Gray-blue like a foggy morning, like the water in a stone fountain, like the moon or maybe the stars. Betty with the gray-blue eyes. That might make a good song "Yes?" Betty interrupts his reverie.
Curtis clears his throat, lowers his voice, stands up straighter, and resumes speaking. "I am Curtis Sinclair Jest, formerly of the band Machine. I am a trusted confidant of Elizabeth's, which is why I come to you at this hour. I must tell you something very urgent about Lizzie."
"What about Liz?" Owen asks, walking up behind Curtis from the driveway. "I need to talk to her right now."
Curtis says, "Lizzie is in trouble, Betty. We'll need your car."
Betty takes a deep breath. "What's happened? What's happened to Elizabeth?" She gives up trying to disguise the terror in her voice. "I want to know what's happened to my granddaughter!"
she yells.
Curtis takes Betty's hand. "She's headed back to Earth, and we've got to stop her."
"You can't mean she's sneaking?" Owen asks.
Curtis nods.