My interest piqued, I clicked on his information and read through it. It showed that he was still in the area and working as a mechanic. His relationship status showed he was still single. Other than that, there wasn’t much information on him.
Like the true stalker I was, I went to his pictures next. Again, there was only the bare minimum—a few profile pictures and a few photos he had been tagged in. I noted how good he looked, something that made me feel guilty almost instantly. He had certainly grown up since I last saw him, but I shouldn’t have noticed it the way I did.
His black hair was shorter than it used to be but not nearly as short as Joey’s. His hazel eyes twinkled in amusement as he smiled at the camera. I swallowed roughly as I exited out of his profile and then the entire app as well.
I picked up my glass and took another drink and then another. The alcohol soothed me. I even smiled at Joey as he walked past me. He gave me a strange look but didn’t comment. I looked away, unwilling to let the sadness of our pitiful relationship take hold of me—at least not tonight.
I took another sip of my drink as I stared down at my phone. The screen showed a photo of Amelia sitting on the floor, chewing on one of her teething toys. I smiled at the image. My baby girl was my everything. I loved her more than anything else in the entire world. She was literally the only thing that made me drag my pitiful ass out of bed in the mornings.
I continued to stare at her photo until my screen went blank. I took another drink, sighing as the alcohol numbed me, before turning my screen back on. I clicked back into the Facebook app and pulled up Ethan’s profile again. I debated for a moment before clicking on the Message button. A voice in the back of my mind warned me that it would be a bad idea to message Ethan, especially while I was drunk, but I ignored it.
Hey, Ethan. It’s been a while.
I pushed Send before dropping my phone into my lap. Guilt crippled me for a split second before I pushed it aside. Joey didn’t like it when I talked to other guys. If he knew, it would only start another fight. Still, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I simply wanted to catch up with someone I hadn’t talked to in a very long time.
My screen lit up, showing I had a new message.
Caley? Damn, it’s been a long time.
I grinned down at his message before responding.
I know. I saw your name on my feed and thought I’d see how you’ve been.
I’m good. Working a lot, as always. What about you?
I typed out the words, I’m good, but I stopped myself before I hit Send. Instead, I erased the message and typed out a new one.
Honestly, I’m drinking at the moment. Life has been crap lately.
I winced once I hit Send, instantly regretting sending that kind of message to Ethan. We had been friends, yes, but we were never close. Yet here I was, messaging him and complaining, when I’d never said a word to anyone. Granted, there weren’t many I could rant to anymore. The only friend I still had from high school was Delilah, and I hadn’t spoken with her in months. Everyone else had moved on after graduation, forgetting about me.
He replied after a few minutes.
How so?
I bit my lips as I debated on how to respond. I could lie and make up something about my job or another superficial complaint, or I could tell the truth to this man. He was practically a stranger now with no place in my life. He probably didn’t even know Joey. They were almost three years apart in age and had never crossed paths, as far as I knew. If Ethan judged me for complaining to him, it wouldn’t matter. He wouldn’t go running to Joey or tell anyone about me. Our lives were no longer connected at all.
I think I hate my husband. He’s so cruel to me. I’m just miserable with my life, I guess.
I didn’t regret the words. In fact, I felt almost free. I had said them—or rather, texted them—for the first time in my life.
His response was almost instant.
Cruel? Is he hurting you?
He isn’t beating me, if that’s what you mean. We’ve gotten into it a few times, and he’s thrown things, but he’s never hit me. He’s just cruel with his words and actions.
I waited, hoping that Ethan would keep talking with me. I felt lighter already, only a few sentences taking the weight from my shoulders.
A man hitting a woman is about the worst thing I can think of, but verbal and mental abuse is almost as bad. Why are you still with him if he’s like this? You should leave.
I frowned.
I have a child with him. I can’t just walk away because he hurts my feelings.
Several minutes passed without a response. I frowned before taking another drink. I was worried that Ethan had suddenly decided I wasn’t worth talking to anymore. My heart skipped a beat when my phone screen lit up, showing that I had a new message from him.
Having a child definitely makes things difficult but not impossible.
I want Amelia to have a happy life, growing up. I don’t want her memories to be filled with being taken back and forth between him and me.
Eh, I see your point, I guess. I just can’t imagine being stuck with someone I despised, feeling completely miserable for the rest of my life.
I reread his words twice, trying to decipher whether or not he was being a smart-ass before deciding that he probably was.
You know what? Never mind. I can see that you’re judging me already. I think I’d better go.
I was surprised at how angry I had become over a single message. I’d expected Ethan to maybe feel sorry for me, but I had never expected him to tell me that I should leave my husband. That was…unthinkable. I couldn’t. I had Amelia to think about.
Hey, I didn’t mean to piss you off, so calm down. I just meant that no one should be forced to live a life that makes them miserable. We used to be friends once, Caley, and I thought a lot of you back then. You’re a sweet girl, and you deserve a happy life. That was all I was trying to say.
My anger dissolved instantly, and I felt like a complete fool.
I’m sorry.
Don’t be. I understand.
I sighed, torn between continuing to talk to Ethan and going to bed. My head was starting to swim, and I knew it wouldn’t take long before my messages would start suffering a painful grammatical death. I’d made enough of a fool of myself for one night. It was time for bed.
I need to go to bed. Amelia will be up early. Good night, Ethan. It was good talking with you.
Good night. Don’t wait another few years to message me again, okay? Tonight made me realize that I’ve missed talking to you. You can shoot me a message on here or send me a text whenever you need someone to talk to.