After a particularly calm week, I came home from work on a Friday evening to find Joey packing a bag.
“What are you doing?” I blurted out as soon as I saw him.
He glanced up at me before turning his attention back to the bag in front of him. “Work asked for volunteers to head out of state for a few days to help another crew on a job. They offered double the pay, so I volunteered.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised at the sudden disappointment I felt. For a brief moment, I had thought that maybe he had decided to leave me. My disappointment turned to shame. What kind of person was I to feel disappointment over the fact that my husband was not leaving me?
“When will you be back?” I asked.
“Probably on Monday evening. I’ll text you once I know for sure.” He zipped up his bag and walked over to where I was standing.
Without a word, he took Amelia from my arms and kissed her forehead. He softly whispered something in her ear before handing her back to me.
“You’ll be okay with her all weekend, won’t you?” He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder.
“What do you mean?”
He shifted uncomfortably in front of me. “I don’t want to start a fight before I leave, but you know what I mean.”
I raised an eyebrow. “No, I really don’t have a clue.”
He sighed. “The drinking. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been doing it nearly as much these last few weeks, but you haven’t stopped completely.”
“You think I would drink while I was watching Amelia on my own?” I demanded.
“I doubt if you would, but I had to bring it up. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
“I’m her mother, Joey. I wouldn’t do anything at all to put her in danger. If it’ll make you feel better, you’re more than welcome to take all the alcohol in the house with you.”
I was raging on the inside, barely able to control the anger.
“I had to ask, Caley. Don’t make it out so that I look like an ass.” He started walking to the door, but he stopped and turned back to face me. “I’ll text you when I know what time I’ll be home.”
He surprised me when he reached out and pulled both Amelia and me to him. He hugged us before stepping back. “I love you both. I hope you know that.”
I watched in disbelief as he walked out of our bedroom and down the hallway before disappearing from sight. A few seconds later, I heard the front door open and close. Then, he was gone, leaving me more than just a little confused.
Joey had been mostly silent over the last few days. We hadn’t fought, but we hadn’t exactly been friendly either. The fact that he’d hugged me, that he’d said he loved me, shocked me to my very core. I couldn’t think of the last time he’d uttered those words to me. I had assumed he felt the same way I did—trapped. If he’d truly meant those words….well, that could change everything.
I shook my head. I would never understand that man.
What are you doing?
Just put Amelia to bed. You?
Sitting on a barstool, drinking a beer, and wallowing in self-pity.
Wow, sounds like a ton of fun. Why are you having a pity party?
Because I have to pay for all this beer, and it isn’t making me feel better at all.
I thought I was the one who drowned my sorrows in alcohol. If we’re switching it up, let me know, so I can be the supportive sober one.
Please do. I need some damn support.
What’s bothering you?
I’d sent the last message before a thought occurred to me.
Wait, how are you drinking? I’m twenty-one, so you’re only nineteen.
I have friends in high places…at bars.
I rolled my eyes.
Okay. Anyway, what’s bothering you?
I’m just in a bad mood, I guess. Work sucked today, so that didn’t help any.
I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?
You could come to the bar and drink with me.
I frowned. He must really be down to have suggested that. He knew it wouldn’t be safe for me to be seen out with him. All it would take was one person seeing us together and reporting back to Joey to ruin everything.
You know I can’t. Joey might find out. Plus, he’s out of town, so I’m home by myself with Amelia.
I know. Just wishful thinking. Why is he out of town?
Work apparently. He was really…nice before he left. It was strange.
At least he wasn’t yelling at you, right?
I suppose.
If he’s gone all weekend, then you should hang out with me tomorrow.
I bit my lip. I wanted to see Ethan, I really did, but it wouldn’t be safe. Texting was one thing, but meeting him again was something I couldn’t do. There would be too much risk involved. I couldn’t risk losing his friendship. I needed it too much.
You know I can’t. If anyone saw us…
I know a place we could go. No one would be there.
Where?
I knew it would be a bad idea.
There’s a fishing hole that’s privately owned, and pretty much no one knows about it. Come with me tomorrow, please?
Instead of telling him no, I stared down at my phone. I wanted to go—badly. Ethan and Amelia were the only two people in this world who made me feel truly happy. I hated that part of my happiness required me to sneak around behind my husband’s back, but I was in far too deep to walk away now. I’d had a taste of what most people felt every single day, and I clung to it. I knew the road I was going down was paved with nothing but deceit, and if Joey were to ever discover the truth, he would be so angry, but I kept walking straight ahead on it.
I finally sent back a reply.
I don’t have a fishing pole.
No problem. I have two. So, is that a yes?
Maybe. I will have to check with my mom to see if she can watch Amelia.
Do you think she’ll say yes?
I sighed.
I’m sure she will. She loves spending time with Amelia.
Good. Then, meet me at my house at noon tomorrow.